


Spa Day 2020

by SSpian0



Series: pause mode: one day off in two parts. [1]
Category: ENHYPEN (Band), I-LAND (Korea TV)
Genre: Best Friends, Borld's West, Boys Being Boys, Breakbot: Baby I'm Yours, COVID is crushing my spirit, Canon Compliant, Confusing Use of Words, Cooking, Crushes, Crying, Day Off, Eavesdropping, Fancy Lads, Flirtatious Bullshit, Friends to Lovers, Gay Panic, Gordon Ramsay references, Gossip, Hamilton References, I WROTE THIS IN 14 DAYS, Loving Jake Hours, M/M, Making Out, Memes, Panic Attacks, Quotes from VLIVE, Screaming Conversations (Friendly), Self-Acceptance, Shipping, Sleepy Boys, Spa Treatments, Typography Jokes, Underage Drinking, Whisper Screams, an ample supply of beverages, excessive wordplay, random song lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:01:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 68,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28092081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SSpian0/pseuds/SSpian0
Summary: A lazy indoor fic about self-care, self-doubt, love, friendship, projection, processing, eavesdropping and honesty.a.k.a. Park Sunghoon wakes up on his day off._______________[completed: 12/25/2020]
Relationships: Kim Sunoo & Park Jongseong | Jay, Kim Sunoo & Park Sunghoon, Kim Sunoo & Shim Jaeyoon | Jake, Kim Sunoo/Nishimura Riki | Ni-ki, Lee Heeseung/Park Sunghoon, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Nishimura Riki | Ni-Ki & Shim Jaeyoon | Jake, Park Jongseong | Jay/Yang Jungwon, Shim Jaeyoon | Jake/Everyone
Series: pause mode: one day off in two parts. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2058066
Comments: 218
Kudos: 128





	1. Face Masks & Boba

**Author's Note:**

  * For [consistently_inconsistent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/consistently_inconsistent/gifts), [ftaephoria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ftaephoria/gifts), [minkit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/minkit/gifts), [flowerheeseung](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerheeseung/gifts).



> To my favorite ENHYPEN fic authors on this site, I gift this work. I hope this gives you as much joy as you've given me. Thank you all for your service.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunoo and Sunghoon split a tall boba behind detoxifying facial treatments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This idea began with a fever dream after watching &Hi. For some reason I could imagine Sunoo and Sunghoon sitting together on that giant white couch in their living room, chilling with sheet masks on their faces. 
> 
> And then I watched a few VLIVEs and this story turned into a beast I could no longer ignore. 
> 
> Please ENjoy.

It’s unusually quiet at the Enhypen dorm, save for an ambient tune from a bluetooth speaker. In the living room, an unusual scene. Two boys reclined side by side, legs elevated on the couch’s adjustable footrests, chins trained upward, black hair fanned out on head rests. Today while most of the group is gone, cat and mouse peacefully coexist.

It bears mentioning that they both have on damp tea bags over their eyes and matching face mask sheets. Its a self-care thing.

“Ddeonu?” Sunghoon lazily pats the plush leather couch with an arm.

“Mm muh— what?”

“How.... long are do to keep these on for?” the words spill out of the older boys mouth like molasses,“Wait. Don’t answer. I hear you, mouthful of boba and it gives me the creeps.”

“Wh— How dare you!” Sunoo lets out a dramatic gasp, throwing three rapid slaps on what he assumes to be a thigh. “Rude, hyung! So rude!”

Sunghoon bursts into a laugh, imagining the pout on his dongsaeng’s face.

“Oh please,” He takes a beat, presumably to swallow before resuming, “Its not like you don’t already spend the first hour of your day sitting here in pause mode. Might as well do something luxurious for your skin while you’re at it. God forbid you do something that makes you look less dead in the eyes.”

Impatient, Sunghoon groans. He swears he can hear the younger boy roll his eyes.

“Here, have some boba.” Sunoo scoffs, blindly passing their cold drink to his left. “I’ve got this timed on my phone, so chill.”

“Fine. Gimme,” he makes grabby hands into thin air, finally making contact with the cup. “ah— there it is.”

Sunghoon fumbles a bit, trying to get his lips around the bendy boba straw. “Hm? Is this coffee?” a hint of surprise in his tone.

“Yeah, I got a cafe latte boba this morning.”

“Nice.” Sunghoon does a small celebratory shoulder wiggle in gratitude.

“I’m done with that by the way. Take the rest, I’m gonna switch to water in a bit.”

The older boy raises an eyebrow, taking in a long sip of drink, taking his time to chew a few tapioca pearls.

“That sounds a bit sus,” he breathes out a smirk. “but thanks all the same,” he shakes his cup in Sunoo’s general direction just enough to hear sloshing ice.

A guilty silence.

“Well... Maybe you’re right.” the younger boy sighs, “Maybe I’m trying to make up for something.”

“I figured.”

Since living together at I-LAND it was clear how into skincare Sunoo was, more so how possessive he could be about products he saved up for special occasions. Sunghoon knew this stash of premium tea comically splayed on their faces wasn’t cheap (or for drinking).

That morning, Sunghoon took his time getting up. A few in the group had the day off, including himself. Jay was out, allegedly to spend the day shopping. Sunoo was somewhere, just not home when he woke. His mind was still buffering when he waddled into living room. Sunoo, fresh from a quick trip the boba shop immediately started talking his ear off about this being a chance to kick off “Spa Day 2020”. ( _It’d be legendary!_ the younger boy promised) In that moment none of the words flying out of Sunoo’s mouth made much sense. On any other day, Sunghoon would’ve reasoned this lack of comprehension to his typical struggle as the antithesis of a morning person getting caught in conversation by a literal ray of sunshine. Today he could tell something else was off. Now at the heels of Sunoo abandoning a perfectly good drink that so happens to be Sunghoon’s favorite flavor it was clear the younger boy was going out of his way to be nice... but for what?

“You gonna spill or should I pry?”

“...damnit this anti-oxidant brightening mask was supposed to buy me a little more time...” Sunoo mutters under his breath.

“Ya! Sunoo!” he reaches over to try to tickle whatever bit flesh he could find without being able to see, “C’mere you—“

“Hyung, stooop!” Sunoo whines in protest, “It’s not that big a deal, it’s just...“ he hesitates.

Kim Sunoo has never been lost for words, but this time he was. It wasn’t embarrassment or a lack of confidence that kept him from speaking. It was an inability to pinpoint the exact feeling he was trying to express.

“Hyung... yesterday’s VLIVE... did you watch it?”

“Yeah? What about it?”

“Capture time.” he sighs, taking another measured pause... before a stream of unfiltered thought comes pouring out his mouth at too many syllables per second. “You know that thing, that finger heart thing that Niki and Jungwon do? Cute right? Super cute and ENGENE love it and we love it and it’s their own little thing and we all have our own little things like I have Sunki Day and our Tom & Jerry vibe. You have #milk_carrot and your bromance with Jake, and that whole Jungwon being Heeseung’s overprotected son deal where sometimes you’re the mom and Jay’s a weird uncle, and that human cape hug Jay and Jungwon are constantly caught in every fucking day? The fans love it right? And I love it too, I promise I do. It’s the cutest and the hearts pour in and engagement is through the roof and it’s just cute and fun. I mean, I’m cute as hell and we’re all pretty cute but lo key, high key, in pairings we kill, right? So it’s all good, right?”

A pause for air.

“Uh... right.” Sunghoon begins to regret pushing Sunoo to talk, but he listens intently, trying to follow this runaway train of thought barreling through what used to be comfortable silence.

“Right! You get it, do you see where I’m going with this?”

“No, but go on.”

“So capture time rolls around, it’s Jungwon, Niki, Heeseung hyung and me—“

“— I know, I saw.” Sunghoon interrupts.

“Uugh.” the younger boy’s tone shifts, a bit lower and slower, “I got a little salty, okay? I try not to. I know what this is, but when comments came in requesting Niki and Jungwon do the finger heart pose... I... felt a way about it.”

“I know.” Sunghoon reaches a hand out, placing an empathetic hand on Sunoo’s chest. “I saw.”

“Hyung.” a bubble of emotion wells up in Sunoo’s already sentimental voice. He puts both hands to his chest, over where Sunghoon has his. “I was jealous. I don’t know why I was more than before but this time it hurt. When Heeseung agreed to do our version of the pose, I didn’t think. Even if Niki jumped in the middle of that moment, for a second... in that moment when I looked Heeseung hyung in his eyes I felt like I wronged you.”

“...”

“I feel so bad about it.” Sunoo squeezes the hand still on his chest.

Behind his face mask, Sunghoon wears an expression of a young child struggling to do complex math.

“I’m sorry, hyung I—”

Suddenly, an interruption of duck quacks.

“Oh that’s the timer. Lemme get my phone.”

Sunoo’s about to get up but the older boy keeps his palm pressed firm on his chest, keeping him pinned to the couch.

“Wait, what—?“

“—but hyung, the timer, our masks—?”

Sunghoon snaps. “No, fuck that.” The ice cracks. “Keep the duck quacks going and if you’re so embarrassed to look me in the eye, we’ll keep this weird shit on our faces too,” frustration and aggression present in his voice, “You’ve danced around this long enough, we’re talking about this NOW.”

“Wow.” He’s floored by that sudden burst of emotion, “Hyung... I don’t know what to tell you but that was it.”

“WHAT.”

“Yeah. Looking into Heeseung’s eyes, the finger hearts, how it felt like betraying a friend, my favorite hyung —that literally was it.”

Sunghoon barks a quick, guttural scream. Sunoo stirs in his seat, too freaked out to move. He could feel his hyung’s scream vibrate through his palm and his fingertips.

“That doesn’t make sense! Ddeonu, make this make sense or we’re listening to duck quacks until these bags are dry, I swear to god!”

It sounds like a threat but Sunoo swears he hears Sunghoon’s exasperation spoken through a hint of a smirk.

“Oh my god, I get it! Calm down!” frightened but amused, he complies. “Look,” he snickers at the suggestion, imagining debuting with desiccated sheets of promised glamour on their faces ad infinitum, “I know you’re a petty bitch like me. If I felt a way about Jungwon and Niki, I know for sure you’d feel a way about me getting cute with Heeseung hyung. I got up this morning feeling sideways about it and I thought you’d be upset at me, so I went to go buy us some boba but I kept changing my mind about what I felt bad for and if I felt bad at all. One moment I’d be sure you felt a way about it then I’d back track, and I wasn’t sure about any of it. I just felt... a lot… and I couldn’t make sense of it. We both have the whole day off together, and I just kept feeling this nagging need to do something to stop feeling bad about what I thought you were or weren’t feeling. And then I thought about my own feelings, and I sort of started feeling bitter that you had a choice I didn’t have.”

Sunghoon takes his appendage back, suspiciously reaching for the tall cup of boba resting between his legs. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I meant to get us both a boba and break out my fancy masks for spa day. Maybe bond, take some time to read your vibe while chilling... but I panicked at the counter. I was going to get two lattes but I stopped myself. I didn’t feel like treating myself to anything especially after it dawned on me that I might be a little resentful. I didn’t really know how I felt, I didn’t know why I was so sure you’d be upset. But then I also felt bitter because it’s just not fair!”

It was at this point that Sunghoon started to feel sorry for Sunoo. He could barely piece together what he was hearing, but it was clear the younger boy was overwhelmed trying to process a lot of complicated and contradictory emotions. Having no context other than the sound of his voice (and the still ongoing soundtrack of duck quacks at regular intervals) Sunghoon could hear Sunoo was almost crying— genuinely trying to speak as clearly as he could about this storm of feelings he could barely grasp.

“Sunoo, it’s alright. I—“

“I mean, of course I’d feel jealous when people coo about how cute Niki and Jungwon are. I mean, it’s Niki!” he says, taking on an animated tone, “We’ve been through so much together. That boy goes to bed with me, when he’s around me he surrounds me, and the way he looks at me— I don’t know how not to feel jealous when he’s sweet with someone else when he’s been MY Niki since we were sent to Ground!”

“Yeah, I see that.”

Sunghoon remembers the first time he noticed the younger boy’s mood change when it came to Niki hanging over someone else. It was with Jake during Heeseung’s birthday stream. On the side of the long table he saw Sunoo’s eyes drift a few times toward Niki and Jake, seemingly in a world of their own. Despite the festive occasion, he was close enough to watch Sunoo’s mood rise and fall once, twice, thrice. Sunghoon tried to pull him back a few times, keeping him engaged in the moment on their side of the table, even just to keep up appearances in front of the camera.

Whether or not the younger boy was aware, despite his sly nature and his impeccable lenticular-awareness, when it came to Niki, Sunoo wore his heart on his sleeve.

“I don’t get it though, hyung. Anyone with eyes can see you’ve clearly got something similar going on between you and Heeseung hyung.”

Unsurprisingly, at this comment Sunghoon is speechless. Intentionally speechless.

“—but you know what?! I was so ready to feel guilty about the possibility of making you uncomfortable looking that deep into your Heeseung’s eyes... then I remember that the only time I’ve seen the same kind of jealousy in your eyes is when Jake and Niki are all over each other! That’s just not fair! Are you leading him on too? I mean, you’ve seen the way Jake looks at you, right? Clearly Jake is in lo—”

“WOAH! NO!” a third voice cuts in, “No no no no no! Is that what you really think Sunoo?”

Twin screams break out of Sunghoon and Sunoo’s throats, masks and tea hastily torn off their faces.

“JAKE! What the fuck?!” Sunghoon screams for the third time that morning, clutching Sunoo who’s thrown himself into a fetal position into the older boy’s arms. “When? How? Didn’t you have work today?”

“I had to go in to rerecord a line of narration for one of our appearances, no big.” Jake stood in front of them, palms up, arms at a slight angle being an entire mood. “I’m the one who should be asking what the fuck! What the actual fuck? Oh my _GOD_ , Sunoo turn that shit off or I’m going to hate ducks for the rest of my life!”

Hurried and wordless, Sunoo jumps out of Sunghoon’s arms and fumbles to his phone to shut his alarm.

“Spa day.” Sunoo answers, eyes wide shooting a pleading look at an equally wide-eyed Sunghoon.

“Yeah. Spa day. Also this boba.” Sunghoon lifts his half-empty cup boba.

“Don’t bullshit me, mate!” he curses in English, uncharacteristically brash, channeling his inner Australian bad boy. Jake drops on the couch between a shaken Sunghoon and Sunoo, throwing his arms around both of their shoulders in a tense side hug.

Sunghoon, silently lifts the boba between him and Sunoo. The younger boy takes the cue and reaches a hand to the tall plastic cup from the other side to form a human sippy cup. Jake looks down at the straw. Arms still around the two black haired boys, takes and obliges, inhaling a big sip of boba. The sound of chewing affirms an apology accepted.

Jake lets out a defeated sigh, letting go of the tension in that breath. “Damnit, you two. Can someone tell me why I walked in through the door to the sound of Sunghoon screaming and a the nagging of a single unacknowledged duck? I’m not even gonna bother with whatever you guys had on your faces. Just... ugghhh... What did I hear?”

Poor Jake. He throws his hood up, buries his face in his hands, and folds himself in half like an ancient flip phone.

Sunghoon and Sunoo exchange looks and close in above this puppy of a boy in a seated hug sandwich.

Muffled into his thighs, Jake talks through his hands. “I don’t know what I walked into when I got here. I was just going to take a few photos or and a video clip because you guys looked so silly, talking over duck quacks with your feet up and the tea face and the boba condensation forming around Sunghoon’s pants between his thighs—“

Sunoo raises an eyebrow.

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. Promise I just planned to take a few snaps and scare the shit out of you for once. I mean... I’m always on the wrong end of a surprise... I heard my name and I guess I couldn’t stop myself from listening. I’m sorry if I violated your trust.”

Sunghoon lifts up from the hug, frowns in tiny, catching Sunoo mouth an “Aww!” and clutch his chest. Jake was precious, so pure like milk.

“... but,” Jake continues, still balled up, “If that’s the vibe I’m coming off with, I guess I’ve got some explaining to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fic in literally over a decade! Please be gentle with me, I'm a graphic designer IRL and I really do not have a good command of writing in general.
> 
> I wrote this as a love letter to the ships on my horizon, authors whose work brings me joy, the memes to i’ve committed to memory, video editors who’ve confirmed my bias, and the group that pushed me to stan.


	2. Foot Soak & Hot Cocoa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunoo and Sunghoon plus Jake soak in a luxurious hydrating foot exfoliant while sipping on mugs of hot cocoa.

The three boys agree to take a bit of a break before continuing conversation. Jake steps out to the balcony to calm down under midday sun and cool air. Sunghoon and Sunoo retreat to the kitchen and bathroom sinks respectively to wash off whatever residual mask gunk they had left on their faces. At some point SunSung convince Jake to join the next round of Spa Day 2020: a foot soak.

Whatever Jake had to say seemed heavy and it made sense to tag him in, one: because Sunoo wasn’t about to lose this window before debut to go all out; two: Sunghoon thought poor Jake looked like he needed to baste in a bit of lazy luxury; three: the two had determined that a timed foot soak set up a good structure for whatever Jake needed to get off his chest.

It’d be chill, relaxing but most importantly it’d take a some effort for Jake to run away in case he chickened out of talking.

Minutes later, they join Jake out on the balcony setting up three folding chairs around a wide, shallow basin barely big enough to fit three pairs of male feet. Sunghoon takes a few trips from the kitchen to the balcony to fill the basin with water while Sunoo carefully measures out a mixture of colorful fragrant powders. Soon they’re seated in a small circle around the basin, hot cocoa in hand, feet soaking in warm, milky, fizzy liquid, smelling of banana, coconut, matcha and vanilla.

“Before I left for Korea, I had a girlfriend.” Jake begins wistfully, “We got together when we were young— too young. She was a grade older than I was and... I liked her a lot.”

“What was she like?” Sunoo leans forward in interest.

“Honey blonde hair, light eyes... she just always had on sweetest smile,” his eyes far away in nostalgia, ”She was witty and kind.”

Sunghoon smiles into his cup, “She sounds nice.”

Jake’s gaze flutters towards his best friend. Looking down at his own cup his smile wavers for a moment.

“What was her name?” Keen as ever, Sunoo picks up on what could’ve been missed in a blink.

“Layla.”

Sunghoon nearly chokes on his cocoa. “What?! Are you talking about your dog? Was this all just a set up to fawn over your dog?!?”

“For your information, my dog’s name is _Lyla_. My ex-girlfriend’s name was _Layla_.”

“Its sounds like you’re saying the same name twice!” Sunoo wheezes.

“Oh my god, I KNOW it’s weird but can we move on?”

“This story’s already bonkers as it is. I can barely believe our handsome yet cripplingly awkward Jakey’s had a girlfriend.”

Determined to continue his narrative, he ignores the teasing snark and continues, “Actually, we met when I was taking Lyla out for a walk.”

///////////////////////

> On a sunny Saturday morning in the suburbs of Brisbane, Jaeyoon returns from a stroll around the block with his beloved 10 month old Labrador Retriever. It had been habit for her to go off leash for the last leg of the hike. Definitely not an advisable habit for any dog owner, but he was young and dumb, more importantly he held on to a stubborn dream that he could train his new puppy to follow him where ever he went, like a shadow. Across the street from his home he sees a moving truck that wasn’t there when he walked out the door with Lyla earlier.
> 
> He perks up, excited at the possibility of new neighbors. When he spots movers carry out a set of three bicycles, two full sized bikes and one slightly smaller, his heart starts pounding.
> 
> _Maybe it’s a family with a kid my age,_ he thinks.
> 
> Jaeyoon’s an only child. Lyla’s a great companion but the thought of gaining a new playmate excites him. He fights the urge to run up and introduce himself but opts to quicken his pace instead. Lyla on the other hand had something else in mind. Pets pick up on the energy of their owners, maybe this why she bolts straight for house of the new tenants.
> 
> “Shit, LYLA!!!” Jaeyoon screams, mouth open so wide in shock you can see his braces twinkle from a distance.
> 
> He runs after her calling her name, but the little scamp is quick. In an instant, he finds himself through the doorway frozen at his sudden audacity to enter a stranger’s home.
> 
> “Lyla!” He’s breathless, buckled over with his hands to his knees. “Damnit, Lyla come out here!”
> 
> A pair of movers shuffle past him, lifting a king sized mattress at a gingerly pace. They give him a look, a shrug and carry on with their task, rounding a corner carefully to the master bedroom.
> 
> Out of view he hears a young girl’s voice, “What is it?!” her tone a mix of haughty, puzzled and sweet. “Did someone call for me?”
> 
> Panicked he blurts without pausing, “Um, hi? I’m with the Shim’s from across the street. Sorry to barge in, its just that my dog—“
> 
> “Oh! Oh my! Who might you be, little one?”
> 
> Jaeyoon’s eyes widen and his ears start burning in embarrassment. “Hey! I’m not little! I’m still growing! Wait, can you see me?” He retorts in no particular direction, both confused and offended.
> 
> Suddenly he sees her, from behind where the movers were down the hallway, a girl about his age. Honey blonde hair, hazel eyes and a beautiful smile. Again, he found himself breathless. By her side was Lyla, loving on this new person like an old friend.
> 
> “Oh my, you’re so friendly! What a sweetheart you are!” She coos, kneeling to pet her through an assault of affectionate licking.
> 
> “Lyla!” He rushes over, hugging his dog with tears in his eyes. “You scared me!” Jaeyoon takes his puppy’s face in his hands and pleads, “Girl, please don’t ever do that to me again.”
> 
> “That’s so funny, that’s my name too.” The girl lets out a soft chuckle as she gets on her feet. “I’m Layla.”
> 
> “Oh? That’s weird — but a good weird, right?” He stammers, attaching the leash back on Lyla’s collar. “Uh, I’m Jaeyoon and this little troublemaker’s called Lyla.”
> 
> The girl flashes another smile, “Nice to meet you two.”
> 
> “Uh… we should go? Um, sorry for the trouble.”
> 
> “No worries. Walk you out?”
> 
> He nods wordlessly, hoping his new acquaintance doesn’t notice the blush of color creeping in on his face.
> 
> As they exit the threshold, he feels a light touch on his shoulder. He turns around. Layla lifts her hand and ruffles his hair, petting him like a dog.
> 
> “See you around, puppy boy.”
> 
> The door closes. Jaeyoon's heart begins to bloom.

///////////////////////

“Three days later, I was in love.”

“Wow… Jake…” Sunghoon nods contemplatively, “You were pretty smitten.”

Sunoo’s lower lip trembles, looking at Jake like the softest thing he’s ever seen. “That was the most adorable meet cute! I don’t know _HOW_ I’m not crying right now.” his voice as dramatic as this sentiment reads.

“Well, that was just the beginning.” Jake takes a sip of now lukewarm cocoa, his eyes distant once again. “She wouldn’t be my ex if things didn’t take a turn.”

Sunghoon places a hand on his friend’s collar and gives a slight squeeze. “Let it out, Jake. We’re listening.”

The brown haired boy tilts his head to the side, and leans his cheek on the back of Sunghoon’s hand. Sunoo nods in support.

///////////////////////

> Jake recalls how head over heels he was for Layla. How in an instant, they were inseparable. He followed Layla around like a puppy — like her shadow. Soon, she got used to this and demanded he maintain that level of devotion. To the person he used to be, she was perfect but he could never put his finger on why. Jake as he is now, couldn’t say who was back then. He couldn’t tell where he ended and she began. As time passed, it made him feel uneasy realizing how easily he lost himself to love.
> 
> One day it dawns on him: he finds his lack of identity profoundly disturbing. Slowly he’d pull away from doing things as a couple, wanting to explore his ambitions, trying to develop his own passions. He’d looked closer into his native culture, consuming more media content from Korea, taking an interest in stories passed down from his family. Between his extra curricular activities on the JV soccer team and violin for the school orchestra, the time spent between Jaeyoon and Layla dwindled.
> 
> The more distant he was, the more obsessive Layla seemed to grow. She started taking the lead on certain things unprompted. Dropping in on weekends unannounced, picking out outfits for school, leaving small notes tucked away between pages of his textbooks... Cute little acts of kindness perhaps, but to Jaeyoon it felt oppressive. In his periphery he’d catch her slight machinations, her slow encroaching into his space and he let it happen. He was a coward. He never let her know when she stepped over the line, afraid to hurt her feelings at the cost of swallowing his own.
> 
> He tells the story of the night he and Layla found themselves watching the Billboard Music Awards. How his eyes lit up seeing BTS perform DNA. The performance was a catalyst for the young boy. He was in awe at what he saw, but more importantly he felt the pull of a greater calling. He went to bed that night knowing, just knowing, that he was fated to be on stage.
> 
> The next day, full of confidence and excitement he tells Layla. He hopes to have her support. To his horror she laughs.
> 
> “Oh Jaeyoon, don’t be silly! How are you going to be a K-pop idol from all the way out here in Australia? What happens when we get married? Can you imagine how ridiculous I’ll sound trying to tell our kids what daddy does for a living?” Her tone is playful, but dismissive all the same.

///////////////////////

“Oof.” Sunoo grimaces, a yikes seething through his teeth. “Harsh.”

The boys have migrated from balcony to bathroom to wash off foot soak residue. Sunoo leans on the doorframe, nursing a fresh cup of cocoa. Jake’s in the tub standing with the water running, extendable shower head aimed below his knees.

“Sounds like you two grew apart.” Sunghoon hands him a towel, having just dried off his own feet. “It sucks you had to go through that, but I’m kind of glad it happened. I can’t imagine how things would’ve been if you didn’t enter the audition that lead you to I-LAND.”

Sunoo nods, “You definitely don’t need someone like that in your life. Good for you, breaking up with her to pursue your dream.” He passes the cocoa to Sunghoon who proceeds to drink.

Jake lets out a weak laugh, “Thanks guys. I know we were just kids and this was too much, too soon… but I regret not ending things better.”

“What do you mean, hyung?”

“I should have broken it off right then and there, but I cowered. Around her I lost the nerve to tell her how I really felt. I guess I was afraid to break her heart so I kept putting it off.” Jake rubs the back of his head, “I don’t know how I kept it up, but I lead her on for months.”

Sunghoon takes a seat at the edge of the tub next to Jake, brows furrowed. “How’d she take it when you auditioned?”

“She didn’t know. I didn’t say a word about it until the week after I flew up here.”

“Damn, hyung. That’s pretty brutal.”

Jake shakes his head, “You think that’s bad?” he takes the mug out of Sunghoon’s hands and sips some cocoa as well. “Trust me, It gets worse.”

Sunoo’s eyes narrow. Suddenly he understands how frustrating he must have been in his earlier conversation with Sunghoon. Jake, sensing the growing impatience behind the younger boy’s expression smiles cheekily, using his thumb to wipe the slight mustache their shared beverage left above his lip.

“She thought I was visiting family in Korea for the summer. We see each other one last time the day before my flight. I kiss her goodbye. She asks me to bring her back a souvenir, something cute. I tell her I will… I tell her for the first time that I loved her.” emotion starts to well up in Jake’s voice. He sounds like someone too exhausted to cry.“Til the very end, I keep lying.”

“It wasn’t until after the first week of being a trainee that I got the nerve to tell her the truth. I wrote a letter breaking up with her.” He empties the mug into his mouth, holding it up to his face a little too long in a halfhearted attempt to hide his expression.

For the second time that day, Sunghoon and Sunoo find themselves exchanging knowing looks, flanking Jake in a tub side hug sandwich.

“Jakey,” Sunghoon begins, leaning his head atop his crumpled friend. “I love you buddy, but you did her dirty. I mean, I get it but that was _such_ a dick move.”

Sunoo with both arms wrapped around Jake gives an affectionate squeeze. “Yeah hyung, I didn’t think you could be such a bastard.”

“Thanks guys.” He laughs, “I’d hug you both back but I’ve got mug.”

Jake wiggles his shoulders affectionately as the two snuggle in closer. “Guess having been with someone for so long, I sort of catch on to romantic tension when I see it. Even if I’m terrified of who I become in love, I’d really like to learn how to do better from others, just in case I ever find myself feeling that way again.” He leans out of the hug, away from the tub, left hand on the empty mug. With his free hand, he pats a still seated Sunghoon on the shoulder.

“I mean, that’s why I’m so grateful to be so close with you Sunghoon,” he ignores the puzzled look on his best friend’s face, moving to ruffle Sunoo’s hair, “and why I get along so well with Niki these days. Love’s a lot more fun watching it grow from the outside.”

Jake walks out of the bathroom, leaving the two boys to process what he said.

Sunghoon gets up and saunters out of the bathroom to meet Jake in the kitchen, washing out mugs.

“So, does this mean you don’t have a thing for me?” Sunghoon asks playfully, sneaking a hug from behind.

“You know I love you bro, and you know I think you’re the group’s main visual— no offense Sunoo—“

Cue Sunoo’s exaggerated gasp.

“— but there’s no way in hell I’m getting into a relationship with anyone for a long, long time. Plus, I’d rather see where things go with you and Heeseung hyung.”

Panicked, Sunghoon jolts back and whips his head to Sunoo’s toothy, teasing grin. “What the fuck Jake! I thought we were friends?!”

“Right, as if I hadn’t heard Sunoo call you out on it earlier.”

“Well you don’t have to confirm his suspicions!” Sunghoon yells into his hands, covering his face in embarrassment.

“Ha! I knew it!” Sunoo claps his hands, “You guys are SO obvious! I almost hear The Starlight is Falling every time I catch you two make eye contact.” he squees.

Sunghoon looks mortified but quickly snaps, “Says the guy who’s so possessive over NI-Ki, that you admit to projecting your own jealousy to how I feel about Heesungie!” he lunges to pinch Sunoo’s cheeks.

“Ya!” Sunoo throws a few weak punches at Sunghoon’s chest, “at least I own up to it!”

Jake just laughs, “Relax boys, you’re both equally whipped,” he steps between cat and mouse, making a show of wiping his wet hands on each of their shirts.

“The disrespect.” Sunoo breathes, barely believing how Jake’s just used their shirts as a kitchen towel.

“You know Sunoo, I don’t think you have anything to feel jealous about. Trust me on that.” Jake places two solid pats on his chest.

“and Hoon-ah, there’s nothing wrong with you two taking your time.” he slings an arm around his best friend, who quickly reciprocates in kind. “I admire how you’ve gone about things with Heeseung hyung... I just hope you keep me in the loop. We’re pretty similar and I’d really like to learn more about falling in love from someone who seems to be going about it better than I ever have.”

Before either of them can react, he continues, “Look at the bright side, at least y’all aren’t as clueless as Jay and Jungwon. The four of you at least have some recognition of what’s happening.”

“Oh god, those two. I’m not at all surprised since Jay’s half of that equation.” Sunghoon sighs, “You can’t control something you don’t acknowledge.”

“Wow, I can’t believe we’re actually talking about this openly, but I’ve thought the same thing.” Sunoo smiles wide, suddenly impressed by the turn this conversation took. “Lately they’ve been so out there that I couldn’t figure out if they were really that brazen or if they lacked self-awareness.”

Sunghoon scoffs, “Yeah, I mean it’s cute and all but they’re gonna give me a heart attack if they keep up the PDA in front of the cameras. Jakey, you remember how freaked out I was when I got back home that day.”

“Oh boy, the infamous Borld’s West VLIVE! I saw you scramble to cover that up in real time.” Jake stifles a smile, “My biggest red flag was when even Niki’s started to get worried.”

“What?” Sunoo asks, puzzled.

“Why do you think he’s actively been running interference with his finger heart selfie series with Jungwon?”

“OH.” the look on Sunoo’s face softens into understanding. Hand over heart he coos, “Aww Niki! What a sweetheart.”

“How do you not know this? You two are always together, don’t you guys talk?”

“We talk, just... well... I take that back, we talk, but...”

“You cuddle a lot. Got it.”

Sunoo responds with an embarrassed smile and the three break into laughter.

Despite the weight of the previous conversations, the mood felt lighter. Looking around at the room it was clear that the air had changed into something comfortable and open. They felt a little closer, a little more understood, like family.

After a few moments of pleasant quiet and wordless appreciation, a stomach growls. Unsurprisingly no one owns up to it. They agree to take a snack break, playing a quick round of rock, paper, scissors to determine who to send to the convenience store. Sunghoon loses.

Sunoo skips to the vanity to prepare round three of spa day while Sunghoon gets ready to leave. He’s sat by the foyer putting on socks and shoes. Jake sits by him, leaning up against the wall, watching.

“Hey Jake, you mind grabbing me a mask?” he asks absently, running his hand through his hair before fitting a beanie.

“I got you man.” Jake smiles, mask ready in hand.

“Thanks.” he lets Jake slip the lanyard around his neck before taking his hand. “About what you said earlier. I don’t know what what I’m doing half the time when it comes to Heeseungie, but your approval means the world to me. I’m glad I might be helping you get through whatever you’re dealing with, even if it is just watching over me. Just... thank you for staying by my side.”

“I should be the one thanking you.” Jake gives his hand a tight squeeze, “I’ll be here for you as long as you let me.”

Sunghoon pulls him in by the hand into a quick one armed hug. Jake runs his free hand through Sunghoon’s hair before pulling back, barking specific snack item requests, walking him out the door.

Behind him in the hallway, Sunoo watches Jake close the door behind Sunghoon. He watches him stand in the hall way, still, for just a little too long.

Wordless, Sunoo walks to the kitchen, puts on his playlist of chill beats. There’s no universe where he doesn’t make a note of all the little gestures he’s seen leak out of Jake today. Once you break through the floodgates of truth, secrets become harder to keep.

He opens the refrigerator door and calls out, “Hyung! Come in here and help me make some cucumber water!”

“I’ll be right there!” Jake replies.

Sunoo grabs a few cucumbers & a lone yuja fruit from the fridge and begins washing, “Go grab us a pitcher and a cutting board, we can’t have spa day without tall glasses of fancy water, you know?”

Sly as ever, Sunoo masterfully crafts a deflection while he plots to confront Jake on his actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On Lyla/Layla: 100% phonetically in Jake’s pronunciation there is no audible difference between either name.
> 
> Apologies for writing Jake as a broken, love lorn puppy. I don't know why, but somehow this rendition of Jake makes sense to me.
> 
> In truth, the way I've written him in is an ode to a dear friend of mine, a lovely human being who loves everyone, loves Love but stubbornly refuses to open his heart yet again. Some of the things I've written in dialogue were words I've heard from this dear buddy of mine. He'll probably never find this, but if he does, here's a message from my heart to his: "You're a good boy. The goodest boy. I love you, always."


	3. Nail Polish & Cucumber Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunoo, Jake and Sunghoon paint each other’s toenails while enjoying tall glasses of cucumber yuja seltzer water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who's read and commented on the first two chapters. I'm so happy to see other people enjoy this silly story. I hope you guys stick around until the end. My thanks and gratitude to you all.

The kitchen smells of fresh cucumber and hints of yuja. Satisfied with his concoction, Sunoo gives it a quick stir, distributing the ice among slices of green and yellow before setting the glass carafe in refrigerator to chill. Jake is by the sink, dicing produce remnants into smaller pieces before running them down the trash disposal.

Chill beats still fill the air, interrupted by quick bursts of disposal cacophony. By the last bits of yuja cucumber gone, Sunoo decides to strike.

“Hey Jake. Do you still have a crush on Sunghoon?”

Coughing. Jake barks three unnecessary, dramatic coughs before he answers, “Don’t you?”

“Fair,” Sunoo smirks, “but that wasn’t the question.”

“I mean, aren’t we all a little whipped for Sunghoon?”

“Still not the question.” He leans his back to the kitchen counter, arms folded. “Its canon we both did when we began I-LAND, but that tapered off for me the more time I spent at Ground. Obviously the admiration’s still there but he’s someone I’d like to be more like rather than, you know.”

Jake walks over, resting his forearms on the counter next to Sunoo.

“Does it really matter how I feel If I don’t plan to do anything about it? You heard what I had to say about relationships earlier.”

“Of course it does.” Sunoo scoots closer, arms still folded and nudges Jake’s shoulder. “I’ve known you longer than the others and at one point we felt the same way. I get it’s not easy.”

Jake relents, “He’s my best friend. I wouldn’t change that for the world. I’m not kidding about not having room in my life for anything more with anybody, especially him.” he says somberly, then moving his lips into mischievous smirk, “Still, I’m only human. I’d be lying if I said I don’t often fight the urge to push him up against a wall and kiss him senseless on the mouth.”

“Oh my _GOD_ , JAKE _HYUNG_! You beast!” Scandalized, Sunoo’s mouth drops and explodes into a fit of giggles. “I didn’t think you had it in you to be so bold!”

Jake just smiles smugly, shoulders and palms up. Sunoo doubles over laughing at his reaction, crumpling to the floor. Still wearing a self-satisfied look, Jake slumps down and hugs his knees next to Sunoo still giggling into his own hands. The laughter dies down and they sit in silence for a beat.

“Hyung?” Sunoo asks in a whisper, “Why do you desire what you cannot acquire?”

“I can’t decide if I want to laugh or hit you.”

They start snickering again before falling back into quiet.

“…not that he does but… if he did like you back would you…?”

“No.” Jake turns, looking into Sunoo’s eyes misty, with a bittersweet smile. “I’d run. I can’t lose myself again.”

Nodding in acknowledgment, Sunoo reaches up to pat the older boy’s light brown head of hair. “I don’t understand what you’re going through Jake hyung, but I’ll try. Just don’t keep it all in.”

Suddenly tears start falling down Jake’s cheeks— big, heavy drops of liquid repression betraying the effort he seems to be making to wear a smile. Sunoo pulls him in into a tight hug, the older boy burying his face into his hoodie. Jake weeps into Sunoo’s shoulder, doing his best not to make a sound.

In the hallway, hidden from view, Sunghoon fights the urge to rush into the kitchen to comfort his best friend. It wasn’t his intention to come back in unannounced, but it was just like him to be that discreet. Also, garbage disposal.

For a second he thought of opening and closing the front door to fake an entrance, but the thought of deceiving his brothers just didn’t sit right.

Sunghoon treads softly into the kitchen, setting his convenience store haul on the counter. Before realization sets in with Jake and Sunoo, he kneels by them, enveloping both boys in a heartfelt hug. He holds them close, Sunoo’s head on his left side, Jake on his right.

“Su-Sunghoon hyung!” Sunoo looks like he’s about to bolt. “When did you get here?”

“Garbage disposal.”

“Of fucking course,” Jake curses into Sunghoon’s neck.

“You two are so stupid,” he pulls back and cups each boy’s cheek with his hands. “I’ve always known how you look at me but I love you both still.”

“Wait, what?” Jake’s eyes are glazed over in horror. “How? I mean, obviously you just heard but—“

Sunghoon sighs, wiping a tear from Jake’s face with his thumb. “How do you think I ended up with the nickname Ice Prince? Ever since I can remember, I’ve seen people fawn over me.” His eyes travel to Sunoo who also looks like he’s about to burst into tears, “It’s embarrassing to admit that I know I’m pretty. I don’t really know how to react when I notice others obsess over my looks... but I have to pretend like I don’t see it just to feel normal. Maybe I end up overcompensating and come off as colder than I am.”

“Hoon-ah, I’m sorry... you must be so disgusted,” Jake’s puppy-dog eyes are swollen and struggles to maintain eye contact.

“I’m not, I promise. Actually, I’m flattered.” Sunghoon wears a soft, empathetic smile. “I mean, you guys are my team mates and my friends. Jake, you’re my best friend. You see me for more than how I appear. You actually SEE me. Plus, I can’t help but feel good about knowing two of the most attractive boys I’ve ever met have a crush on me.”

Sunoo impulsively throws a playful slap on Sunghoon’s cheek, “Oh my god, you’re worse than I thought! You’re actually that conceited!”

“Ddeonu! That hurts my feelings!” Sunghoon’s mouth flies open in mock-surprise (but its really just a massive teasing smile).

After a few more theatric smacks on Sunghoon’s chest, Sunoo yields, melting into his the older’s arms, “You’re not wrong though. You are very very pretty.” He buries his face back into Sunghoon’s chest, suddenly shy once again. “Thanks for being cool about it Sunghoon hyung.”

“You guys are allowed to have your feelings, I know love and attraction are a lot more complicated than just liking the way someone looks.” Sunghoon rubs circles on Sunoo’s back reassuringly, “For what it’s worth, I accept you unconditionally. Especially you, Jakey.” He holds his right arm out to touch Jake’s face.

Jake stares at Sunghoon in disbelief, thrown back by this display of benevolence and compassion. Taking advantage of the fact that Sunoo couldn’t see him at that moment, Jake takes Sunghoon’s hand in his, pressing his lips onto his palm. A soft, silent kiss for only Sunghoon to feel and see.

Sunghoon blushes, inviting Jake into the hug with Sunoo, pulling on the fabric of his shirt. Jake crawls into the embrace once again.

“By, the way…” Sunghoon begins, now feeling a bit flustered realizing the gravity of the moment, “I love you guys like family, and while I think you’re both really good looking and I don’t mind if sometimes you look at me like candy, I know I haven’t said it explicitly but I AM completely head over heels for Heeseungie so please don’t hate me I swear I love you guys so much, okay?”

Sunoo and Jake pull back, feigning offense through giggles.

“Oh, definitely hyung! I’ve been over you for a while!” Sunoo gets up off the floor, extending a hand to help up both hyungs, “I can’t believe it took that to get you to claim your ship though! Ha!”

“Yeah bro, I’m pretty sure I lust you but that’s that.” Jake winks at Sunghoon, taking Sunoo’s hand to stand, ”I’ve got so much relationship trauma to heal from, I’d be mortified if you liked me that way! I can NOT be asked deal with love if it involves me directly.”

Sunghoon laughs, shaking his head, “Good! I accept both of your rejections then.” He takes both Jake and Sunoo’s extended hands, “Let’s get off this topic for a bit and eat some snacks, I’m starving.”

“Oooh, yes! By the way Hyung, we have cucumber water chilling for part three of Spa Day 2020 after snack time.”

“I helped!” Jake beams proudly, leafing through the bag of miscellaneous munchies.

“Nice,” Sunghoon pulls out a box of Pepero, ripping into the contents, “What’s up next on the docket?”

With a twinkle in his eyes and a waggle of the eyebrows, Sunoo points at a basket poised in the middle of the living room floor.

“Pedicures!” He exclaims, clapping in glee.

///////////////////////

Several hundreds (maybe thousands) of empty calories later, the boys are back on the floor. An excess of cushions litter the living room area. Sunoo carefully balances a tray with tall glasses of refreshment while Jake and Sunghoon carefully inspect bottles of nail varnish.

“You know, I’ve never done this before. Paint my nails.” Jake opens a bottle, takes a deep sniff and recoils. “Oof, that’s strong!”

“Imagine my shock.” Sunoo rolls his eyes, setting the tray on the ground. “Jake, I saw your feet earlier… you’re such a stereotypical boy, we’re gonna have to sand down those toenails before we can get a coat of paint on them.”

“The WHAT now? Sand?!”

Sunghoon picks a few colors, each an icy, frosty tone in either white or blue. “My sister’s tried painting mine a few times, but I’d end up getting too impatient to stay still while it dried.”

“Well, I’m gonna make you two slow down and exercise a bit of patience. Spa day is all about taking it easy and just… breathing” Sunoo inhales and exhales, illustrating the flow of breath with his hands.

“We’re gonna end up high if we huff this stuff, man” Jake opens yet another bottle of nail polish and takes it to the nose.

“Stop!” Sunoo takes a throw pillow and smacks the brown haired boy repeatedly, “Stop doing that! Quit smelling every single color you touch!”

“Ooh, I think I like this color.” Sunghoon waves a bottle at the two to catch their attention.

“Blue Pepper? Good choice, hyung. Very you.” Sunoo leans over to the basket of varnish and snatches a bottle of semi-clear prismatic liquid, “I think that’d pair nicely with a little bit of Frosted Sugar topcoat, don’t you think?”

“Wait, so we can pick more than one color?” Jake perks up, taking stock of the colors he’s pulled aside.

“You got ten toes, go nuts if you feel like it!” Sunoo chirps, delighted by the amount of interest his hyungs have shown in the activity,“Just don’t mix colors on one nail, I don’t trust either of you to pull off that level of complexity without ruining my stash.”

“If you’re doing a few colors, I’ll do your toes Jakey, as long as Ddeonu does mine. I want mine to look pretty.”

“Wait, does that mean Jake’s painting my toenails?” Sunoo asks, aghast. “You better not fuck up my feet or I swear to god you’ll never live this down!”

“Hey, you’ll be surprised at how good I can be with my hands.” Jake cracks his knuckles in an attempt to assure Sunoo of his dexterity.

“Uh. Yikes.” Sunoo grimaces, “Not gonna lie, I’m a little freaked out, but yolo. Let’s do this, boys!”

And so they begin, chill beats playlist ongoing, cucumber waters in the center, they quietly get started giving each other amateur pedicures. As with all past crafting projects, they give their efforts 100% concentration. Jake’s surprisingly adept at painting, expertly applying strokes of varnish and giving each toe time to properly dry. Sunoo’s chosen a mellow shade somewhere between peach and pink for his toes. It smells like strawberry candy, and maybe just maybe Sunoo chose that color out of consideration to Jake’s initial apprehension to the strong chemical smell of previous bottles.

Sunghoon seems to be having fun painting as well. With his best friend’s foot on his lap he neatly coats each toe with a different color. Jake literally chose 10 different bottles ( _“Absolute madness!”_ Sunoo exclaimed) but Sunghoon wouldn’t have it any other way. He had a mischievous smile on his face that oddly enough Sunoo understood but refused to give any explanation for when asked by Jake, scaring him a bit.

Sunoo went about the task of painting Sunghoon’s toes like it was some sort of esteemed privilege. His smile, large and proud feeling every bit flattered to have been chosen for the job. This was an Olympic level figure skater’s feet after all. Blue pepper base, check. A flattering amount of Frosted Sugar top coat, check. Just as a special flourish, he carefully paints an accent nail in silver, embedding a snowflake shaped bit of reflective confetti and sealing it with a clear coat. A little surprise for his favorite hyung to see when the time is right.

They all finish at about the same time, promising not to examine each other’s work until the end of dry time. Tall glasses of cucumber water in hand, yet another round of conversation begins.

“Guess so we’re all on the same page, let’s lay down what we already know about each other,” Sunoo begins, “One: SunKi is real and I 100% confirm it’s existence. Two: SungSeung is real and we got you to finally claim that fact,” Sunoo points an accusing finger at Sunghoon.

“Three: Jake’s a damaged puppy who’s whipped for me,” Sunghoon continues, chewing on an ice cube, “but it’s cool coz I kind of dig it and if things don’t work out with me and Heeseungie in the far future I’m not ruling anything out—“

“YA! Don’t fuck with my heart Park Sunghoon!” Jake screams, falling back to lay on the floor in embarrassment.

Sunoo shakes his head at Sunghoon in disapproval, “Well, four: technically we both had a crush on you at the same time in I-LAND and come to find out, you’re a lot more self-aware than I ever gave you credit for”

“and five: JayWon.” Jake adds, voice muffled from behind a pillow.

“We _have_ to talk about that, I’m itching to figure out what you both know.” Sunghoon sets down his glass to poke at Jake’s reclined body. “I’ve talked to Jake a bit about this already, but there’s never really time to talk theories.”

“Bench that thought for a sec, Sunghoon hyung.” Sunoo lifts a finger to visually bookmark the moment. “I’ve got something I need to ask Jake hyung before I forget.”

“Huh—wha? What’s up Sunoo-ya?” Jake sits up in attention.

“Niki. What do you talk to him about? You two have been obnoxiously close the past few weeks.” Sunoo’s brows are furrowed, arms crossed for the umpteenth time that day, “I gotta ask because I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t eating me up inside”

“Yeah for real Jakey, I’ve seen Sunoo close to losing his shit in jealousy... and,” Sunghoon takes a deep breath out, “if we’re being real, I also have started feeling a bit jealous of you two.”

“Hoon-ah? Are you serious? I mean, Sunoo’s crazy possessive over Niki so that I get, but are you saying you’re...”

“Yes Jake, I _am_ a bit possessive of you! You’re my best friend and even if I am barely a month younger than you sometimes I wish we had cute little dongsaeng-hyung things sometimes, maybe, I don’t know?” Sunghoon unravels in real time, flustered, “Damnit, Moving on! What’s up with you and Niki?”

( _“Holy shit, hyung. You’re a mess.”_ the youngestof the spa day trio winces.)

Jake leans back, arms bent on the floor. “Lots of things. Niki and I are both foreigners, in case you two forget. There’s a lot of cultural nuance we miss out on that we try to catch. I’m not really sure how he’s figured it out but Niki’s sussed that I’ve got a nose for figuring out who’s got a thing for who in the group. He’s pulled me aside to see if I’ve caught on to the same ships he’s seen.” He points a toe at Sunoo, “I don’t know if it gives you any comfort but he talks to me a lot about you.”

“Really?” Sunoo hugs his knees, resting his chin between them. “I’m afraid to ask, but... what’s your take on him Jake hyung?”

“It’s really not my place to say anything about it but... I mean... you probably can tell, right?”

Sunghoon scoots over to Jake, laying his head on the his torso. “I figured that’s what you guys were talking about. I think that’s why I got jealous. That’s the sort of stuff I talk to you about, you know when I confide in you about Heeseungie. I just... recognized our dynamic and saw it mirrored with someone else. I didn’t think it was that big a deal until Sunoo pointed it out earlier.”

Jake lays back down, running his hand through his best friend’s bangs. He extends his free arm, beckoning the other boy to join in the cuddle. Sunoo shrugs his shoulders and gingerly hops over (trying his best to keep his toes spread) to lay on Jake’s arm.

“I know I don’t have a right to feel jealous, you’re not mine, but I’m owning up to it.” Sunghoon takes Jake’s arm and holds it to his chest.

“Aww... I mean, that’s real bromantic guys, but can we get back to me and Niki?” Sunoo pouts, curling up to look up at Jake, “Spell it out. I don’t actually know what he feels about me. He’s a sweet kid, I undoubtedly have feelings for him, but he’s just that— still just a kid.”

“Well, why don’t you tell me what you feel first?” Jake wraps his arm to comb through Sunoo’s hair. “I’m not gonna spill everything we’ve talked about but maybe I can put you a bit at ease if you let me know what worries you about your relationship with Niki.”

Sunoo continues, sounding a bit sad and a bit lost. “I know I sound really insecure, even if we’ve got a lot of skinship between us I hesitate to take any of these moments seriously. Guess I think about back when I was his age and what an idiot I used to be. My crushes were fickle flavors of the week and I could barely tell the difference between butterflies in my stomach and bad gas.”

Sunghoon bursts into laughter. Sunoo reaches over Jake to deliver a quick smack.

“I like Niki a lot. I— I like Niki the most.” Sunoo’s confession is breathless and sincere. “As much as I’d like to take our interactions at face value, I know he’s just a lonely kid. I know I’m loved like family. I know he likes sleeping in my bed for completely wholesome reasons but, you know this feeling Jake hyung, I’m only human. Sometimes I find myself falling, no matter how much my mind knows not to take things there with him.”

Jake swallows bitterly, knowing exactly how Sunoo’s heart must be breaking at that moment. Sunghoon closes his eyes, turns to reach across Jake to hold Sunoo’s hand.

“I don’t want to take advantage of his affections or betray his trust.” Sunoo squeezes his hyung’s hand and burrows closer into Jake’s chest. “But it hurts to keep it in. It hurts to keep ignoring my heart.”

“You know what’s weird is that this entire conversation feels like déjà vu,” Jake remarks contemplatively, “Sunoo, a lot of what you’ve said I’ve heard come from Sunghoon-ah here, give or take a few details.”

“Oh? How so?”

“Well... I have the same feelings, except swap your concerns with Niki regarding emotional maturity with Heeseungie being universally affectionate with everybody.” Sunghoon speaks in a melancholy tone. “I want to think I’ve got something special with him, but those little touches and those awkward glances I’ve come to fall for aren’t just for me. Like you, I know how I feel and I’m afraid of letting any of it eek out. Even if you and Jake think I’ve got something mutual going with him, same goes with how we see you and Niki. We’re never really going to know where we stand unless we ask them... and honestly,”

“—it’s terrifying.” Jake finishes the thought.

“Oh hyungs!” Sunoo pulls them both into another awkwardly positioned group hug. “This is so hard, but somehow I feel a little lighter that you both understand how I feel.” he says with a lump in his throat.

Sunghoon gives a weak laugh, obviously crying as well. Jake’s eyes fill up with tears again, half in empathy, half feeling his own heartbreak.

“Sunghoon-ah’s right, you know. It doesn’t really matter what you hear from me about Niki or what he hears from me about Heeseung hyung. My words will never be enough to ease your burden. At some point you both have to ask them yourselves how they feel.” Jake speaks through tears.

The boys are a puddle of muffled sobs for a few minutes until Sunoo breaks into a full weep declaring, “Oh my _god_ , what am I going to do? I think I love Niki!”

“Aaargh!” Sunghoon screams into Jake’s chest, “I don’t want to deal with these feelings but I think I’m in love Heeseungie too!”

Jake howls into the ether, “At least you two have the ability to love, I’m fucking broken! I wish I had the guts to fall in love again!”

“Waaaahhhh”

“Aaaaaargh”

“ANDWAEEEE”

From a short distance, panicked murmurs:

“Holy shit, hyung we can’t let this keep going. This is just too sad.”

“I— I agree.”

Mortified by the presence of two more voices, the Spa Day Trio scream in bloody horror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just found out that yuja is basically yuzu which is a little bit like lemon but I don't really know. I've never had it. Also, are trash disposals a thing in Korea? I don't know, but it's a thing in my life here in the United States and now its a plot device in this fic.
> 
> P.P.S. _Blue Pepper_ is a perfect name for a nail polish formula. Fight me.


	4. Karaoke & Soju Spritzers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niki, Sunoo and Jake have an impromptu karaoke session (no) thanks to Heeseung’s accidental cocktails and everyone is a lightweight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters 3 & 4 have been published on the same day. If you haven’t read Nail Varnish & Cucumber Water, please and kindly check that one out first. 💅🏻✨
> 
> —————
> 
> We cross the line from platonic relationships to whatever lies on the other side.
> 
> also... my own personal conspiracy theory on Dusk/Dawn album art.

“NI-KI!?” Sunoo mimics _Edward Munch’s Scream_. “NO! This is a fever dream! This isn’t happening! This can’t be happening!!” he recoils, clutching at Jake’s side.

“I think we inhaled too much nail varnish guys” Jake says as his soul leaves his body.

“No, you did that yourself you idiot! I wasn’t huffing shit! Please don’t tell me, please god, please please for the love of god— I can’t look! I’m going to die—” Sunghoon grabs at Jake’s collar, too afraid to turn around to see who other than Niki spoke.

Jake has blue screened, eyes glazed over, all color drained from his face.

“Sunoo-hyung, look at me.” It’s the voice of Niki. Undeniably, Nishimura Riki calling out to his beloved hyung.

“No! No! No!” Sunoo flails his arms as Niki tries to hold him, eyes singed shut in denial and embarrassment.

Jake and Sunghoon hold each other, frozen in terror.

“Sunoo-hyung! Please!” Niki gets on his knees and with some force takes Sunoo by the wrists to hold him still.

“Ni... Ki? I— I don’t know what you heard but I was just being dramatic! Hahaha! Right hyungs?” Sunoo’s frail heart threatens to beat out of his chest, eyeballs popping out of their sockets, searching for some semblance of reassuring eye contact in Sunghoon and Jake who from all appearances have turned into stone.

“Hyung! Look at me.” Niki’s eyes are soft and searching, pleading for Sunoo’s undivided attention.

He finally relents, nervously meeting his gaze, a flood of searing hot tears pouring from Sunoo’s bright brown eyes. “Niki, I—“

To everyone’s surprise, he pulls Sunoo in with his wrists into a passionate not-at-all-platonic kiss. Niki releases his grip only to wrap his arms around Sunoo, one hand on the small of his back, the other snakes its way onto the back of his head, fingers tangled in his hair.

“Wow.” Jake breaks from his daze.

Sunghoon lifts his jaw off the ground. “Jesus fucking christ, that’s bold.”

“I know right?” a fifth voice hums, “The balls on that boy. I can hardly believe that’s our maknae.”

Horror returns to Sunghoon’s face. He looks at Jake, who only confirms his suspicions.

“Jake. Hoonie. Come here.” a familiar voice calls out from the kitchen, “Give those two some space.”

Jake stands up first, once again offering his hand to Sunghoon to get up. He swallows hard, takes his best friend’s hand and complies. The walk to the kitchen is somber like funeral march. Sunghoon’s hold on Jake’s hand is so tight it threatens to cut off circulation. Jake gives a quick squeeze, feeling the other’s cold, sweaty palms and his racing pulse in his fingertips.

“You’ll never know until you ask Hoon-ah.” Jake says in a low voice, soft enough to sound intimate but loud enough for the others to hear.

A familiar voice clad in a familiar green flannel and a familiar mop of auburn hair. It’s Heeseung. He has his back to both of them, faced toward the open refrigerator door, seemingly searching for something inside. He pulls out the pitcher of cucumber water.

“Oh, this is nice! I should thank Ddeonu for this when he’s less occupied.” Heeseung says, matter of fact.

“I helped cut the up the yuja!” Jake adds, attempting to slice through the tension in the air.

Heeseung sets the pitcher on the counter, grabs a long stirring spoon and pulls out a bottle hidden in his sleeve.

“Guys. Obviously we’ve got a lot to talk about.” he cracks open the glass bottle, evading direct eye contact “Unfortunately I’m not as bold as little Niki over there, so I’m going to need a little liquid courage.”

“Heeseungie, what’s that?” Sunghoon asks with an uneasy smile.

“Soju.” he pours out the entire bottle into the carafe, stirring the mixture with the aforementioned spoon. “I got gifted a bottle on my birthday. Figured if there was ever a time I needed it, it’s now.”

Both best friend’s jaws drop, caught off guard by the eldest’s bravado.

“Get us some glasses, Jake.” his eyes fixed on his impromptu cocktail.

“Yes sir.” Jake robotically responds, a little too afraid to say anymore.

“Heeseungie—“ Sunghoon starts obviously agitated, taking a few steps toward him.

“It’s okay Hoonie, breathe.” Heeseung meets him halfway, takes Sunghoon’s hand and carefully rests it above his heart. He feels beating as fast, if not faster than his own. “I’m sorry I’m a bit of a coward. I’m scared out of my mind to talk about this. Please, have a drink with me.”

Jake sets down two glasses between them and turns to leave.

“You too Jake. Have a glass with us.”

Morbid curiosity sets in with Jake wondering what’s in store for the rest of the afternoon. He nods and takes a third glass from the cub board.

Heeseung starts pouring out equal amounts of soju spritzers. “Jake, grab us some blankets too. We’re taking this out to the back porch. Things are starting to get weird on the living room floor and I just— No.”

The three of them take a quick glance at Sunoo and Niki, still at it, and immediately snap back.

“Aye, aye captain!” Jake gives a hearty salute before sprinting to the bedroom for said blankets.

It’s at this point that a sudden surge of bravery hits Heeseung. It isn’t a lot, he has yet to start drinking, but he threads his fingers with Sunghoon’s and lifts to give a kiss to his knuckles. They share a knowing smile.

///////////////////////

“Should we stop them? Lo key it’s getting kinda gross in there.” Jake grimaces into his cocktail.

“Let them live, Jakey!” Sunghoon’s already a bit tipsy, “You heard how bad Ddeonu’s been pining for Niki. Long as they keep it on the down-low, but above the waist and away from our bunks they’re fiiiine.”

“Sunghoonie, I beg you not to put that image in my mind.” Heeseung fake gags before taking another sip.

“Too late, hyungie! We’ve enabled this! We raised them wrong.” Sunghoon wraps an arm around Heeseung’s neck and whispers, “We’re terrible parents... I can’t!”

Heeseung blushes at the implication but sputters out a “Pffffffft!”

Jake giggles, hiding his head under his blanket. “Uuugh, they’re so gross but they’re so cute but they’re so gross! But so cute!”

“Guys, guys...” the eldest boy lowers his voice to a whisper and the other two lean in to hear, “... guys. Lo key, high key but mostly high key, I’ve always shipped them.”

The balcony explodes in mirthful laughter. They cave into each other, giggling with tears in their eyes, Heeseung with his arms around Sunghoon’s shoulders, Sunghoon on his lap leaned up against his chest and Jake curled up next to the two of them.

Wiping the tears from his face, Heeseung pulls away from the embrace and looks Sunghoon in the eyes unobstructed by bangs or insecurity for the first time that day.

“Well, we’ve broken the ice _(insert Jake giggling at this stretch of a pun)_ I think I’m ready to talk about us if you want to.”

“Hyung... I...” Sunghoon begins breathlessly.

Jake gets up, “That’s my cue to go, I don’t want to be third wheeling out here with you guys.”

Sunghoon’s eyes widen as Jake paces to leave, Heeseung tugs at his sleeve to stop him.

“Jake. Stay. Please.” Heeseung begs with a look of sincerity. “I have things to talk to you about too. Plus, I think you’d be more comfortable third wheeling out here than walking into whatever’s going on in there now.”

“Hyung,” Jake sighs in apprehension. “I’m not sure you know what you’re asking of me.”

“I think I do. You love Sunghoonie, don’t you?”

“Wait, don’t misunderstand him Heeseungie, we talked about this earlier and it’s not like that at all!” Sunghoon begins to protest, a hint of fear in his voice.

“Maybe I do,” Jake sits back down between the two, “but I don’t care to find out and I don’t want anything other than his friendship. In fact, I want your friendship as much as I want Sunghoon’s.”

Confused, Heeseung tilts his head. Jake places a firm hand on his shoulder.

“Sometime later maybe he can tell you the reasons for my actions, but I need you to know that I plan to learn so much from what you two grow to be. I need that more than you can imagine. Maybe, just maybe hyung, I might want you two to work out more than I want anything remotely like that for _myself_.”

Sunghoon looks on the verge of tears again. Heeseung takes a beat, feels the weight of Jake’s words and the intensity of his gaze, glances at Sunghoon and lets out a long, drawn out sigh.

“Thank you Jake.” he takes Jake’s hand, giving it a firm bro squeeze. “I trust you.”

“No, thank you Heeseung hyung.” Jake pulls him into a hearty hug, “take care of Sunghoon-ah for us.”

Jake pats Sunghoon twice on the back and stands back up, “Now for real, I gotta go back in and break up that mess up before things get too awkward.”

They laugh.

“Yeah, go do that,” Heeseung smacks Jake’s butt as he walks past, “Jungwon and Jay would definitely pitch such a fit if they walked in on that!”

“Wait, what? They’re coming back together?” Sunghoon wonders, “I thought Jay’d be home sooner since Jungwon’s got a leadership training seminar to attend.”

“Yo, didn’t Jay say he was gonna spend his day off shopping?” Jake adds.

“Oh well, I mean... you know how those two idiots are...” Heeseung trails off with a suggestive sneer.

Sunghoon starts giggling into Heeseung’s shoulder and a very obvious blush washes over the older boy’s face.

“Heeseungie...” Sunghoon’s face is flushed with color, long eyelashes fluttering as he looks the older boy in the eyes, gaze traveling slow to his mouth. 

Sunghoon delivers a killing point, he bites his lower lip and quickly Heeseung snaps out of his daze, very painfully aware of their lack of privacy.

“Uh... weren’t you leaving Jake?” a sudden tone shift from the eldest boy.

“Damnit, you guys are incorrigible! How dare you shoo me off at that last hint of gossip!” he waves his half empty glass dramatically, speaking with noodley arms. “We’re bookmarking that topic! When you guys are done being gross like those two in there, we’re all gonna talk about the dark horse of ENHYPEN ships: JayWon or I’m gonna— AARGH! I’M SINGLE _AND_ I LIKE IT! AAARGH!” Jake pivots on his heels and wobbles back indoors.

The door to the balcony shuts. Inside they hear Jake yell something unintelligible but decide to ignore him for now.

///////////////////////

Silence sets in once again, the two sit satisfied with each other’s company, huddled under one blanket. It was a lot chillier than it was earlier round spa day part two: foot soak & cocoa. Though the air was colder and their beverages chilled, Sunghoon felt a warmth to rival any heater, any hot liquid snack. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was cuddling with his dearest Heeseungie hyung, maybe it was the afterglow of naked honesty and too many tears cried already that day.

Most likely, it was all of the above.

“Your toes look nice.” Heeseung pokes at Sunghoon’s pinkie toe peeking out of the blanket with his socked foot.

“Oh, yeah.” He hadn’t noticed his feet were exposed nor had he had time to examine Sunoo’s handiwork. “Ddeonu did a great job.”

Heeseung giggles into Sunghoon’s ear, shuffling a bit to wrap himself around the younger boy as they sat.

“The snowflake’s a nice touch.”

Sunghoon’s a bit surprised, a bit embarrassed to have missed that detail, but a lot impressed by how much Heeseung had paid attention to the smallest changes on him he hasn’t already seen. Not only in this moment, but in so many past, he finds himself immensely grateful for those big, beautiful doe eyes on him.

He leans deeper into Heeseung’s chest, turning to wrap both his arms around his torso.

“You heard everything, didn’t you hyung?”

“I did,” he whispers, weaving his hands into his dark head of hair. He kisses Sunghoon’s forehead, moving his fingers down to caress the base of his neck.

The younger boy lifts his head up, hesitating but so clearly wanting to inch closer. Heeseung’s fingers travel from his neck to linger around his jawline, trace around his earlobes, studying Sunghoon’s fragile gaze. Wordless, intense, taking in every shuddering muscle movement and quiver of his perfect, full lips.

And again, Sunghoon snaps, “AAAARGH! DAMNIT HYUNG!” he grabs Heeseung by the collar of his flannel and starts shaking him like a rag doll, “Quit teasing me and say something!!!”

Heeseung’s jarred, literally and figuratively. Sunghoon’s jostled the blankets off them both, straddling him with a crazed look, hands clutched on his collar, trembling.

“Words!” Sunghoon screams into his face, “Use them! Please!! Aaaaaahhh!!!”

Maybe it was a mistake to get Sunghoon to drink, Heeseung thinks, realizing the boy barely drank a third of his glass of grog.

“Hoonie, I’m sorry...”

Somehow tears fall out of Sunghoon’s face without blinking.

“Oh god, no no no no no!” Heeseung’s suddenly all arms and hands, uncoordinated and flailing in every possible way. “I didn’t mean it that way, Sunghoon-ah, Hoonie, baby!”

“B-baby?” he balks at the term of endearment. “Me?”

“Yes, baby. You.” Heeseung is ten times more embarrassed than he should be at this moment, “Although truthfully if I don’t really think of you with that pet name... I... In my mind I’ve always called you baby doll,” he turns ten shades redder than he should be at this admission. “ _My_ baby doll.” his voice somehow regresses to half aegyo half meep.

Sunghoon is shocked, pleasantly so, but still in a state of utter shock.

“That’s adorable, but go on.”

“I—“

It’s Sunghoon’s turn to edge him five ways to flustered, and like every challenge he delights in taking it.

He lifts Heeseung’s chin with his finger, leaning his other hand on the glass panel behind him.

“Darling, please.” Sunghoon practically whispers into his mouth, lower lip going slack, tongue peeking out for a second hinting a shadow of a lick.

Heeseung implodes and words just free fall out of his face, no filter just feelings.

“I— I don’t know _HOW_ you do it but I— I lose all composure around you. Every bit of cool I’ve tried to cultivate, every practiced kill shot I’ve honed to charm— you make me lose all of that when I’m with you. Of course, of _fucking_ course _,_ Park Sunghoon, I’ve fallen so hard for you. I keep falling for you and I don’t know why. I can’t stop? I don’t know why you like me either, the whole globe is whipped for you, you could have anyone and I’m just _Heedeungie_ , stupid, blubbering _Heedeungie_ , an “ace” allegedly, but just an amorphous stuttering, nervous mess around this perfect porcelain doll that is you. You’re impossibly talented, your voice is a song in itself, you move in a way that _moves_ me. I’ve aimed to be an idol my whole life, but with you I forget. Cameras running or nah, I forget. I end up touching you and staring at you and bumbling so bad that I think I fucked up any chances of us having a photo shoot together moving forward. They tried— we tried, remember the two-shot set for Dawn and again for Dusk? They had to swap us out, they gave me Jay, and you got Sunoo and I’m terrified because I know THEY know, ENGENE sees, the staff sees— I literally overheard the editors look over our trial shots muttering how it just looked “Too Real” or “Too Much” or “Too Intense” for debut album art.”

Sunghoon blinks and feels a wave of déjà vu wash over him, recalling the unhinged assault of emotional processing he heard earlier in the day from Sunoo.

He thought as much about the screen test between him and Heeseung. He was too shy to peek behind the monitor, and it seems neither did Heeseung. Maybe the photos were too much for even them to see. He too heard whispers of stylists wondering how they ended up with such an intense vibe with their onscreen chemistry. He could understand how Heeseung felt it could compromise the group’s success, but that day when staff chatter hit his ears, he felt an odd sense of accomplishment, maybe pride. Like his feelings manifested beyond his being, somehow like affirmation that this heady, blossoming warmth in his chest around his favorite hyung was indeed, love.

Heeseung continues, emotional and teary, “Baby doll, I think— no, I KNOW I love you. I’m in love with you and I’m afraid it’ll tear apart everything we’ve struggled to achieve. You gave up an entire career to walk this path, I gave up my youth and my sanity to be here... not to mention the rest of the guys, they work so hard. They look up to me. I just can’t shoulder the burden of their dreams and risk it all for something so selfish, no matter how much it breaks my heart to not give these feelings a voice.”

Sunghoon’s heard enough, he can’t— he won’t let Heeseung keep beating himself up. He reaches for his glass of watered down soju and downs a hefty glug, takes Heeseung by the scruff again and swallows him whole, lips, mouth, tongue. Unsurprisingly Heeseung reciprocates with a similar hungry, forceful fire, pulling him closer with his hands roaming from torso and muscled back.

They pull away, panting, dazed, quiet. Sunghoon can only shake his head, plant a kiss on Heeseung’s cheek and bury him in a tight hug.

“Hyung, I know. Me too.” he breathes into his neck, lips lightly grazing on his collar bone. “I know what you’re afraid of, and I know how hard we’ve all worked to be where we are. I don’t want you to be my boyfriend, not yet. I just want you to accept my feelings, and for you to accept yours.” Sunghoon melts into Heeseung, leaning his head onto his, “We’re idols now. We’ll stay on this path, for however far it takes us. I want this life too, and I want us to do so well we blow everyone out of the water.”

Heeseung pulls back, pressing his forehead to Sunghoon’s, “Borld’s West, right?” he breathes a teary chuckle.

“Oh god, Jake’s right. We gotta talk about that VLIVE later when we get back in, I know Sunoo and probably Niki have a lot to say about that, but I digress.”

“Yes, please digress...” Heeseung trails off, a note lighter than he began, “I guess... If you’re alright waiting, if it’s not too much to ask to stay by my side and let these feelings grow into something greater... I don’t want a mediocre now with you, I want us to build a legacy and to have _us_ forever.” he takes Sunhoon’s hands in his, leisurely playing with his fingers.

“Heeseungie, I think we want the same thing. I want _us_ to be the best at what we do. I want us to be undeniable. I want everyone to see you for the performer you are, and the legend you were born to be.”

“Hoonie, I want the same thing for you. I want the galaxy to see you _own_ the stage, like you do always, like I see you shine. You’re brilliant, you’re beautiful and... I hope that one day, some day, no one will care if it’s clear by the way we look at each other that we’re in love because you and I will be a force so unstoppable that we burn the stage until nothing else matters. Even it can’t happen now, I dream of a day I can tell the world that you’re mine.”

By now, Sunghoon’s so tired of crying, but figures if there ever was an appropriate time to shed some happy tears, it’d be this moment.

They share a soft kiss, Sunghoon pulls away to reveal a megawatt smile to rival Heeseung’s.

In English he says, “Baby, I’m yours.”

Suddenly, the door to the balcony swings open to a chorus of poorly enunciated screams

Niki pops out with a “BRRRAAAH!!!” finger guns in the air, wearing seven of Heeseung’s multitude of beanies ( _“One for each ENHYPEN member,”_ Niki beams proudly to literally just Jake.)

“OH MY GAAA!” Sunoo stumbles out, face and neck covered in shimmer ( _“It’s a Holographic Unicorn Beauty peel-off mask!”_ he’d stage whisper to also just Jake.) “Jake hyung! You mad man! How’d you guess he’d say that?!”

And then there was Jake, who seemed the most put together despite the puppy cartoon face mask he was wearing “He’s my fucking SOULMATE, of course I know what corny shit he’s gonna say! Niki, drop the beat!”

Niki holds up a bluetooth speaker like a boom box as it played an overly modulated rendition of _Break Bot’s “Baby I’m Yours.”_

The three start singing (?) English (?) lyrics phonetically, in the loudest most unintelligible impromptu karaoke session known to man:

_I thought I had it all together_

_But I was led astray_

_The day you walked away_

_You were the clock_

_That was ticking in my heart_

_Changed my state of mind_

_But love's so hard to find_

Heeseung and Sunghoon’s mouths hang open in a petrified huddle.

“Jesus Christ.” Frightened, Heeseung claws into Sunghoon’s shoulders, “This song isn’t remotely appropriate for this moment.”

“This song’s a bop, but what the fuck?” Sunghoon digs his fingers into Hee’s side in horror, then gasps. “Heeseungie! I think they’re drunk.”

“SHIM JAKE!!” Heeseung belts, veins popping on his neck, throwing a blanket over Sunoo and Niki, shoving everyone back indoors.

“Yes, m’lord” out of nowhere Jake doffs an actual fedora he stole from Jay’s wardrobe.

“ARE THE CHILDREN _DRINKING_?!”

“Pppphhh, maybe they thirsty boys, idk” Jake says in the loudest, high pitched whisper.

“Don’t you dare speak in lowercase acronyms, Jakey! You’re drunk!”

“I dunno, maybe I’m a thirsty boy?” miraculously, Jake’s tone goes even higher.

“Shhhh, you _are_ a thirsty boy Jakey my puppy my hyung,” Niki wraps an arm around Jake’s waist, scratching his chin like a good boy.

Sunghoon is appalled, “Jesus Christ Jake, Niki’s not even 15 yet!”

“Let him liiiive!” he starts out strong, “Back in my day, I drank sometimes... one times.” and ends with a whisper.

“You. You are a terrible hyung!” Heeseung shrieks.

“I AM AN ONLY CHILD!” Jake barks skyward.

“Oh my god, Jungwon’s gonna murder us.” Sunghoon buries his head in his hands.

“He can’t do that! That’s parasite— parrot side— panther sigh— you’re his parents! He loves you, you’re his father Hee and you his beautiful mommy and he’s your baby, you’re sweet leader babyyy” Sunoo squeaks and starts crying, “Oh my god you raised him so well... Thank you so much for Yang leader...”

“No! No tears, my hyungderful hyung. Shh... hush, sunshine of mine, no tears.”

“Niki, hold me.”

Jake slides into a brief moment of sobriety and explains, “To be fair, they already got into the soju before I got back in there. I screamed. Guess all that kissing made them parched and Sunoo was proud of the cucumber water he made. Dummies ate face so hard they never saw you add in the sauce and poof!”

“Oh no.” Heeseung, mortified, flashes a toothy grimace of regret.

“That’s right, father!” Niki points at Heeseung with an accusatory finger, “We learned it from youuuu!”

“NI-ki, no! Not our father, No!” Sunoo feigns a swoon, to which Niki heroically (and some might say skillfully) sweeps him off his feet in a pose as if dancing a tango.

“I just kinda leaned into it because they’re so fun, look at them! Look at the way Niki moves, he’s like young underaged Fred Astaire and tell me that Sunoo doesn’t remind you of Liza Minelli in her prime? Ah! Young love, oh I love Love and oh my god I also love that you two are in love.”

“Okay, number one, Jake: how do you know so much about the golden age of Hollywood; and number two, how much have you all had to drink?” Eldest hyung adopts a flamboyant stance, hand on hip, fingers snap with a flourish enumerate his inquiries.

“Okay Sasseung,” Jake in turn, speaks with his hands, “first off, Imma ask you take your bag of sass and step it back coz we literally troupe of male dancers and it’s _not that weird_ that maybe one of us might an undercover classic movie musical buff.”

“Makes sense, but go on.” hyung de-sasses, relaxing his pose a bit.

“And to answer question two,” Jake steps aside and makes jazz hands at a completely empty glass pitcher behind him on the counter. On the periphery they spot a shimmering Sunoo and Niki with too many hats like vagabond children gnawing at yuja peels and cucumber slices crouched in a corner of the kitchen.

“Ya!” Sunghoon dives to snatch a rolled up poster to swat at the two, “Stop! Stop that!”

“Red blood!” Niki yells, a battle cry, taking Sunoo by the hand to escape. ”RED BLOOD!!”

Jake starts chuckling through his nose at the sight of SunKi scuttle away to the bedroom with a frantic Sunghoon giving chase.

Heeseung shakes off the last bits of minor inebriation in his system, grabs Jake by the shoulders and delivers a quick slap across his face, knocking the fedora off his head.

“Holy shit, hyung!” Jake’s mouth trembles, “You… hit me!”

“YAAAAAA!” Heeseung roars to the heavens, “HYUNG LINE MINUS JAY, ASSEMBLE!”

Sunghoon dashes out of the bedroom and shuts the door behind him, running back to the kitchen completely out of breath.

“I’m here! Heeseungie, I’m here!” Sunghoon pants, “Plus Jake,” he crumples to the floor, “... minus Jay.” he raises a fist in the air, poster roll noticeably destroyed. “Hyung line, in the house.” breathless, and for what.

“Hoonie, gimme a status report on SunKi.”

“I’ve sequestered the kids to the bedroom, away from tainted cucumber and yuja peels!”

“Excellent work,” Heeseung shoots a fashionable wink.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jake retorts, “They just found out they’re in love and you locked them in a bedroom full of ALL of our sleeping surfaces?!? Hoon-ah, that’s a fail!”

“You shut your damn mouth about my Hoonie, Jaketopher!” Heeseung spits at Jake, (figuratively) “Shim, What’s the 411 on how much everyone drank?”

“Uhhh well, you guys had just your glasses. Sunoo and Niks split a glass and I tried to save the children by drinking most of it but I couldn’t chug the whole pitcher so maybe about a glass and a half went to Sunki? and they wouldn’t stop eating the peels... So I’d say I’m drunker than all of you, but they’re drunker than the two of you only because they fetuses.”

“Jake... you’re a hero!” Sunghoon gushes at this act of selflessness(?).

“Good man,” Heeseung shakes Jake’s hand like a veteran, “Thank you for your service, son.”

“Thank you father, I love you so much.” Jake feigns tears.

“Boys, listen up.” Heeseung’s in full leader mode, he claps his hands together, standing with his leg up on a bench, a fist to his hip and a hand to his chin. “It’s only 4:30 in the afternoon.”

“What the shit!?” Jake falls on his back to lay on the dining room table.

“Shut up Jake, lemme finish,” Hee presses a finger to his lips (both his own and Jake’s), Sunghoon dies a little, slumping further into the floor, “We can fix this. We can make it so that Jungwon and Jay neeeeeeever know what happened here—“

“Except for Spa Day!” Sunghoon raises his fist again in triumph, “Never forget!”

“Yes, of course, my love, Spa Day—“

“YO! SPA DAY 2020! NEVER FORGETT!”

“Shut the fuck up Jake! Let me talk!?”

“Darling, please.” Sunghoon slides across the floor dramatically, clutching at Heeseung’s leg, “Our boy’s... _special_.”

The older boy looks down at Sunghoon, sweet-faced Sunghoon with his pleading eyes and his long eyelashes… Heeseung swallows, adam’s apple bobbing, nostrils flaring, puckers his lips, sucks in through his teeth and makes a noise like a dying animal.

“Well. I forgot all my thoughts just now.” Heeseung’s bones liquify, slipping off the bench to puddle with Sunghoon.

Sunghoon wraps himself around Heeseung, both so terribly not sober and unbothered.

“Heesungie, why did you make us drink, you dumb dummy,” Sunghoon throws a weak punch at his chest.

Inappropriately emboldened, Heeseung rolls on top of the younger boy, shakes his head, and gives him a stare down he’s perfected for the cameras.

“Gentlemen, cease your sexy flirtations!” Jake starts cackling from the table, now laying on his stomach, watching his favorite people be exactly where he’s always wanted them to be, “I, Sir Jakethy von Puppy du Shim, have a plan!” he wipes his cartoon dog face mask from his face for dramatic effect.

And so begins chapter five of Spa Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pull up a chair and let me bend your ear a bit about my pet conspiracy theory. I'm not the only ENGENE who's lo key wondered why Heeseung and Sunghoon haven't had an official photoshoot together for Border: Day One. I hope the Season's Greetings package proves me wrong, but I 100% subscribe to the theory that they TRIED. Photographers and staff put shoots together and tried because it just makes sense, right? Every other ENHYPEN ship incarnation has had a representative photograph, either in pairs on in threes but why no HeeHoon? Why no SungSeung? THE DISRESPECT. THE INJUSTICE of it all TTwTT 
> 
> My theory is that Belift's holding out on us because yeah, IT JUST LOOKED TOO GOOD. They dropped the ball and blue screened, they noped the fuck out of trying to publish the photographs for fear that it might outshine every other shoot they've already got in the can. UGH the frustration! But also, I haven't met anyone sailing aboard the good ship HeeHoon/SungSeung to try to refute this theory. I'd love to hear what you guys have to say about this in the comments. AM I RIGHT OR AM I ... ugh I know I'm just memeing but throw an ENGENE a bone! 
> 
> _____________________
> 
> Heeseung as I've arm chair psychologized is a person who isn't scared of the stage, or scared by things that would terrify most of us plebs. What horrifies him is the depths of his emotion and the inability to control that force. It's real. It happens. I know people.
> 
> I have absolutely no sane justification for inserting Breakbot's Baby I'm Yours into this story. 
> 
> Regarding the unceremonious usage of "Red Blood," I'm going to blame all of that squarely on this amazing ENHYPEN group chat I hang out in at KakaoTalk. I love those crackheads. A special shout out goes to my porgenHAN, a friend who planted this seed in my mind. I will forever be haunted by "Red Blood" thanks to her.


	5. Pizza Party & Gatorade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake orders pizzas and a bunch of Gatorade in an attempt to save the children (Sunoo and Niki) and the parental unit (Heeseung and Sunghoon) from hangovers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Gatorade a thing in Korea? Again, I don't know. I am but a simple immigrant American with a limited scope of beverage knowledge.

“Oh my god, I’m starving.” Sunoo rolls a slice of pizza lengthwise and eats it like a spring roll.

Niki raises an eyebrow, amused, not entirely sure why, and mimics his favorite hyung’s eating habits.

“Jake, you brilliant bastard, you.” Heeseung talks with his mouth full, double fisting pizza, “Pizza delivery was a perfect idea. You saved the day, my boy!”

“Good boy, Jake hyung,” Niki parrots, scratching the older boy behind the ear, still a bit buzzed.

“Yeah, I’m a very good boy.” Jake looks every bit like a puppy who’s just been praised, “I lied though,” he cracks open his own personal liter of Gatorade, “I’ve never actually had a drink before... so I may or may not have the worst day ever tomorrow.”

“Aww Jakey, we’ll cover for you, promise.” Sunghoon ruffles his hair, sort of forgetting he’s got pizza hands, “You... might want to wash your hair before going to bed, sorry.”

“Aww we’re cool, Hoon-ah.” Jake takes a slice of pizza and finishes it off in two bites. “Except I know we’ve all got a full day of work tomorrow.”

Worried, Sunoo reaches a hand across the table to Jake, “Hyung, after we get some of this food down, I might have a few tricks that might make you feel a bit better before the day is done.”

“Oh yeah, you have those fancy vitamins you’ve been forcing on all of us.” Niki says contemplatively, “I read if you do a vitamin C boost, it might keep you from a bad hangover the next day, hyung.”

“Child. How do you know such things?” Heeseung tilts his head in confusion.

“Google, bruh.”

Sunoo beams with pride, “My Niki’s so wise.”

“Your Niki has a smart phone, get over it!” Jake grumbles, “I love you both to death, but please for the sake of our careers and what little sanity we hold onto as a team, keep the the PDA down to a minimum in public.”

“Honey, we are literally at home right now.” Sunoo sasses, seething.

“Hey, Niki.” Heeseung starts, pointing a slice at their youngest, “I just gotta say, you got some smooth moves, dude.” he winks in approval.

“I know.” Niki winks back, wearing a self-satisfied smirk. He turns to Sunoo, and winks directly at him, taking a sip of lime electrolyte drink from his cup.

“Oh my god, not in front of everyone!” Sunoo squeals, only to catch Niki throw him an air kiss, “HYUNGS MAKE HIM STOP!” he shrinks, face in his hands, crawling completely under the table.

“Dear ENGENE, I’m literally fifth wheeling right now.” Jake narrates to no one, burying his face into another slice of pie.

Sunghoon starts laughing and ducks under the table as well, he taps his dongsaeng on the shoulder to get his attention, “Hey Ddeonu, I wanted to tell you, my toes look great. Thanks!”

“Aww Sunghoon Hyung! I’m glad you like it!” they lean over legs and feet to hug awkwardly under the table.

“Heeseungie liked the snowflake, he said it was a nice touch.”

Sunoo purses his lips, both giddy and proud at the feedback. “How’d it go out there hyung?”

Sunghoon purses his lips, both giddy at the memory and proud of himself. His head vibrates into tiny little repetitive nods, flashing the okay sign. Sunoo’s mouth flies open, fanning his face with a complimentary speed of vibration, his fingers spread.

“How about you?” Sunghoon mouths.

Sunoo flashes a toothy grin from ear to ear, both hands to his cheeks.

“We can feel you giggling from down there, you idiots!” Jake calls out, “You suck at being sly, I can see liquid vibrating from our cups!”

“Can I not vibe with my favorite hyung for half a minute?! Cheese and crackers!” Sunoo pounds on tabletop above him in protest, “By the way, that prick did a surprisingly good job on my toes.” he gushes pointing to his feet before sneaking back up to his seat next to a very unbothered Niki.

“Oh wow, good job Jake!” Sunghoon emerges from under the table.

“Thank you my dear sweet best friend of mine, and you’re welcome you ungrateful dandy!” Jake nudges Niki with his arm, “Do a hyung a favor and teach your boyfriend a thing or two about manners later, alright?”

“You got it, Jake hyung!” Niki salutes him with a slice of pizza, and turns back to Sunoo waggling his eyebrows mischievously yet again, “Watch out, Sunoo hyung! You heard the man! I’m gonna get cha!”

A mixture of horror and fascination washes over Sunoo’s face, “Niki, what’re you up to? You’re scaring me.”

Heeseung and Sunghoon exchange a nervous, curious looks while Jake starts to feel a headache come on and a sudden onset of crankiness.

“Why did I do this to myself?” Jake laments, drinking straight from a bottle of Aide.

“Niki!? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I’m gonna get ya... to watch a few videos on YouTube about Korean manners. I’m not very good at it yet and if Jake hyung thinks you have a bit more to learn then, maybe we can learn together, hyung? Would you like that?”

“Oh god, why are you so pure.” There’s a hint of disappointment in Sunoo’s voice, one Niki doesn’t _appear_ catch but drives Heeseung, Sunghoon and Jake to howl in laughter.

Niki’s outwardly bewildered, but keeps his own super powers a secret for now. He feigns confusion as Sunoo waves a hand dismissively at the three older boys.

“Don’t mind them Niki, they’re fucking idiots!” he throws a handful of his discarded pizza crusts at the trio, “of course I’d love to watch a few videos with you later.”

“Later can I come up to your bunk and cuddle? I mean while we learn stuff?” Niki bashfully scratches the back of his head, shooting Sunoo a shy gaze from behind blonde bangs.

“I—“ Sunghoon watches baffled, whispering between his two closest _friends_ (debatable) from the sidelines, “Is this really the same kid who pulled a Hollywood romance move on our little Sunoo?”

“Bruh,” Jake whispers in the peanut gallery, “He might not look it now, that kid’s pulling a pro move. He’s goddamn maverick, that lad.”

“What? Are we looking at the same couple?”

Heeseung chimes in, “Hoonie, good boy Jake is right. Niki’s a genius. He’s trying moves I’ve only read about in theory.”

Sunghoon looks at Heeseung, slightly appalled, slightly impressed also slightly wishing he’d try a few slick moves he knows of “in theory.”

“What the fuck guys, we hear you. All of you. You’re not even a whole pizza box away from us, you shameless voyeurs!” Sunoo balks, an entire spectrum of displeased on his face.

“What? I think it’s funny!” Niki giggles, pulling Sunoo into a sweet side hug. “Hyung, I think you’re cute when you’re angry!”

“WHAT!?” Sunoo screams out of his neck. “Are you serious right now Niki?”

“Watch this, he’s going for the kill.” Jake stifles a knowing smile, hiding his mouth behind his hand.

Sunghoon, still confused observes intently, glancing over at Heeseung who looks like a man taking notes from a master.

“Yeah Sunoo hyung, when you’re upset it’s really cute, you know? I get to see the face you make when you’re flustered but out in public... I... I hope that doesn’t sound too weird, does it?”

Sunoo leans away from Niki, retracting his chin at an awkward angle. He puffs up his cheeks, stands up and marches to the make-up room without a word.

“O honey no.” Sunghoon holds his breath, engrossed the kdrama unfolding at their dining room table.

Niki turns to Jake, shoulders up with a sheepish grin. Heeseung studies the scene, stone facedwith his elbows on the table channeling _Ikari Gendo_ from _Neon Genesis Evangelion._

Two more beats of uncomfortable silence linger before they hear Sunoo stir.

“Nishimura Riki! In my office— _NOW!!_ ”

Niki’s face breaks into a triumphant smile, punching the air; Jake jumps up offering contactless high fives and fist bumps; Heeseung stands up, beaming with pride miming a standing ovation; Sunghoon loses his mind and falls off the bench silently shrieking into his thighs.

“Yes, sir! Right away, sir!” Niki calls out, miming tiny giggle with his hand over his mouth, and skips into the vanity where Sunoo definitely, obviously yanks him in by his shirt, slamming the door behind him.

“Oh my god! Niki!” Heeseung wheezes into the inside of his elbow, wiping tears with his sleeve. “That innocent delivery! And with such a straight face? How is that boy so smooth?”

“Jakey, is that the kind of playboy moves you’ve been teaching him?” Sunghoon cry-laughs into his knees on the floor.

“Oh I wish I could take credit for that, but no,” Jake starts coughing from deep in his belly, having held in so much laughter, “He’s run a few scenarios by me in case Sunoo ever felt the same way about him. I could never tell if he was serious, but he’s got game, I’ll give him that!”

“Aaah, our sweet little maknae is a lethal weapon! Oh my stomach hurts,” Heeseung, winded and a little weak from so much mirth, staggers to the sofa to lay flat longways.

Still laughing, Sunghoon takes out his phone and starts typing, “I’m gonna put a note on our chore app to disinfect the make-up room ASAP.”

“Uugh, I don’t mean to be gross,” Jake grabs his bottle of Gatorade and follows Heeseung to the couches, “but knowing they’re probably making out in the vanity, I wonder what kind of debauchery you walked into earlier when you let them back out of the bedroom earlier Sunghoon-ah.”

“Yikes, you okay Hoonie? A little traumatized maybe?” Heeseung flips over to lay on his stomach.

“Ha! That’s pretty funny actually,” Sunghoon takes another bottle of gatorade and two tall glasses with ice to sit by Jake and Heeseung. “I’m guessing this is the first time those two have had a sip of alcohol, so I after chasing them around the flat they were plenty tuckered out and fell asleep on Niki’s bed.”

“Aw. That’s so cute and so wholesome.” Jake lays on the floor, lazily surrounding himself with throw pillows, moving them around with his feet.

“Although they might’ve ruined one of Niki’s pillows—“

“Ew! EW! EWW EW TMI! TM EYE!!”  
“STOP! I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!”

Two screams in unison.

“—coz Sunoo slept with that unicorn goop mask on his face?” Sunghoon continues then robotically breathes too many syllables per second in a monotone, “if-I-ever-saw-anything-like-that- _trust_ -I-would-be-weeping-into-Heeseung’s-chest-for-days—how-dare-you—goddamnit-Jakey-if-that’s-where-your-brain-was-then-why-WHY-would-you-ask-me-to-relive-that-pain.”

Heeseung lets out a breathy laugh, patting the leather cushion by his head, “Hoonie-ah. Come sit with me.”

Sunghoon obliges, sets the glasses on the cup holder armrest closest to edge of the couch and fills up glasses of sweet hydration. He hands Heeseung a glass, who sits up briefly to take a sip, before reaching over Sunghoon to return glass to armrest. The older boy pauses to look at the other, searches his eyes, lingers on the moles on his face. He’s breathtaking. He’s lost just looking, but he’s okay.

“Heeseungie...” Sunghoon breathes his name, a nickname, his little vampire fangs peek through his meek smile. His eyes dart to their friend, their puppy, motionless on the floor. Sunghoon mouths the word _darling_ as his shy gaze falls low.

A new nickname, a secret shared. It takes a while for it to register, and suddenly Heeseung feels a heat burning from his cheeks to his ears. He’s weakened by the word, the words left unsaid, the thought of boundaries to be crossed, by recent memories, passionate flickers of light, signals only they can see. Heeseung buckles and buries his head into Sunghoon’s neck, breathing in a scent he’s wanted to claim as home.

Sunghoon feels the person he loves breathe into his skin, curled up in his lap, melted into an embrace. He hesitates, but wraps an arm around him anyway, feeling his heart beat through his back, fast yet steady, matching the rhythm of his own. Briefly he doubts the strength of his restraint. Oh the things he yearned for, the things they’d be in time. Sunghoon is patient, he is eager to wait. He reaches up and stokes his hair, a deep firey red. He remembers a taste. Cucumber, yuja, a bitter sting of liquid buzz, then a sweetness. A sweetness he can never forget, a guilty craving he wants to indulge.

His heart races at the memory and in lock-step so does Heeseung’s. The boy on his lap breathes a heavy sigh, hot breath tickles his neck, travels up to his ear and a soft sensation, lips nipping at his the base of his neck... Sunghoon stifles the reflex to respond in a breathy shudder, and fails. He’s ashamed, but feels liberated. He closes his eyes and rests his head, weary onto the older boy’s shoulder.

Heeseung finally pulls back, a bit dazed, a bit bleary and meets his gaze again.

“Sunghoonie...” he says in a hush, hands on either side of his perfect, porcelain face. It’s Heeseung’s turn to give a shy, toothy smile but he ups the anti, biting his lower lip to show intent. The younger boy’s heart is about to implode in his chest. Heeseung leans in slow, leading Sunghoon with his fingers to his jaw line. A moment before the touch of his lips Heeseung breathes a few words, silent but clear, _my baby doll_ and Sunghoon melts entirely into the kiss. He tastes that sweetness again.

///////////////////////

Jake is flat on the ground, eyes closed a grin on his face. The room is spinning, between the sound of the air conditioning and soft sounds of god knows what, this sweet little Aussie boy, this goodest of good boys is lulled to sleep. Jake thinks of his day, he thinks of his friends. Jake thinks, he loves _Love_. The smile on his face grows as he remembers how his friends spoke in honesty. How they’re in love and how he loves that they feel free enough to love. He’s happy, so happy to know such beautiful people. For the first time in forever, he feels that maybe he just might learn to open his heart again.

He drifts into a nap.

He dreams of Lyla, his dog. He dreams of Layla, his girl. In his dream he holds her hand, he says good bye. He doesn’t know if she smiles or if she cries. He doesn’t know, but that’s alright. In his dream she walks away, and Lyla, dear sweet Lyla stands by Jake, ever his shadow, wagging her tail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to imagine Sunoo eating his first slice of pizza like a spring roll and then immediately feeling guilty at the indulgence so he abandons the crusts in his next servings.
> 
> Not gonna lie, I keep breaking my own heart writing Jake. The boy's too pure for this world. Like his heart, but maybe not his brain.


	6. Aromatherapy & Ice Cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dongsaeng line (minus Jungwon) have some ice cream while plotting the next phase of Spa Day. Jake gets a bath.
> 
> _____
> 
> Chapters 5 & 6 have been published on the same day. If you haven’t read Pizza Party & Gatorade, please and kindly check that one out first. 🍕✨

Contrary to what Jake had previously assumed, Sunoo and Niki weren’t as affected by the mid-afternoon’s soju spritzer shenanigans as the rest were. Turns out, the younger you are, the more intact your metabolism, the easier it is to bounce back from inebriation. Also, Jake was terribly wrong about his estimation of who drank what. They actually split less than half a glass with each other, Niki wasn’t a big fan of cucumbers and Sunoo could sense someone had tampered with his concoction. They tried it for the lolz. And then Jake downed most of it.

While Niki and Jake raided the closet to build Niki’s leaning tower of ENbeanies and to hunt for a fedora that Jake swore he’s seen in Jay’s wardrobe, Sunoo poured out the rest of the spritzer down the sink. In the end Sunoo still grazed on the cucumbers, and in typical random-ass Niki fashion he went for the yuja because… jeez, they were pretty buzzed.

Jake was also wrong about his diagnosis of SunKi’s hyper, giddiness. Sure they weren’t sober, but definitely (maybe) they weren’t drunk. Them boys was drunk in love. Obviously, they were invested in seeing the group’s de facto parental unit finally kinda sorta get together. Spontaneous improvised karaoke is always fun, so why not. Both of them leaned into the crazy giggly energy Jake, Heeseung and Sunghoon oozed in the moment. Good times for all. Everybody wins.

One thing was for sure, the parentals might be a bit wonky from the drink, but Jake was fucked. He was going to be a mess the next day if they didn’t do something to help him out. These two precious boys cared deeply about their dear Jake hyung, ( _“He’s like my dad, but puppy,”_ Niki explains) so after their brief “meeting” in “Sunoo’s office” they set off for the store to gather supplies.

///////////////////////

They get back around a quarter to 6:00. Sunoo can’t tell if he started the day off too early or if the hours were dragging due to the series of unnecessarily dramatic revelations that kept piling on. (It was both. 100% both.) As he’s learned in school and in life, past experiences are the most accurate predictors of future outcomes. The way today had gone, at any minute he expected Jay or Jungwon to enter, magically flying under the radar of the dorm’s current inhabitants. As it were, only two out of the five present tenants were awake.

This did not bode well for anyone.

“Well, fuck.” Sunoo stares at his hyungs passed out in the living room. His arms are folded shooting disappointed glares at unconscious bodies and the aftermath of an unplanned pizza party. “Niki, what the hell are we gonna do about these dudes? Jungwon’s gonna kill us all if he finds the Hyung Line minus Jay in this state.”

Behind him, Niki lays out a bounty of homeopathic treatments, carefully curated for a specific mission. “We gotta do what we gotta do, babe.” he winks, immediately frying his target’s brain.

“Oh boy. Please don’t.” Sunoo hides his face in his hands, “We haven’t had 24 hours of being mutual yet, we cannot have cutesy pet names in casual conversation! Niki, you’re killing me!” he pleads.

Niki slinks over with a toothy snicker. “They’re barely breathing, hyung! Chill.”

Sunoo grabs the younger boy by the shoulders, arms outstretched. “I know, my sweet, sweet Niki, I know. I just— I can’t get used to that. Not now, not yet.” He sinks at the sight of Niki’s pout. “Look, it’ll happen. In due time. Also, in case you forgot, we’re idols. We have to behave like professionals.”

“But… Hyung.” Niki pouts harder, “Its kinda weird to say ‘I love you hyung’ when that just doesn’t mean what I feel.”

“Oh my god, you actual child.” Sunoo’s eyes are small, impossibly small right now.

Niki’s eyes are wide and confused, “Uh-oh. What— Is— Are we fighting right now?”

Frustrated, Sunoo throws his arms around the boy and with all his might, squeezes. “Oh you stupid, selfish brat! You sweet baby angel! You’re gonna end me you terrible, wonderful idiot boy!” he screams into Niki’s shoulder and sighs into his arms, “I love you too, Niki. You make me crazy, you know that?”

“—er” Niki pulls back, plants a playful peck on his nose, “Crazier. I know.”

Sunoo steps back, suddenly remembering a line that Jake said earlier that day.

> _“I’d be lying if I said I don’t often fight the urge to push him up against a wall and kiss him senseless on the mouth.”_

_”Yeah, it’s either that or punch him square in the mouth. With my mouth. Softly. Because I like him. I am a monster.”_ Sunoo thinks. Then a moment of clarity, he remembers that regardless of what they have between them, he is the hyung. Whether he likes it or not, its on him to take the lead with his dongsaeng about a great many things. Sunoo resolves to be better.

“Niki,” he takes a garbage bag, starts gathering up pizza trash from the dining room table to discard, “How about, just for now when it’s just the two of us, drop the ‘hyung’ and call me by my name? Is that okay?” Sunoo looks back at Niki, gaze a lot softer than its been in hours.

“Oh!” he sounds surprised, delighted even, “I’d like that hy— Sunoo.” right then, its Niki’s turn to blush. “I’d really like that, Sunoo.”

He raises an eyebrow at the younger boy and nods, “Alright Niki, grab a trash bag and let’s get this cleaned up as fast as we can. We’ve got a lot of work ahead of us if we’re gonna save Jake, Spa Day and all of our asses from Leader-nim’s wrath.”

“I got you, Sunoo!” Niki nods and gets to work.

They make quick work of clean up. Dishes are clean, trash neatly disposed of, blankets from outside and pillow (that one pillow that got unicorn face mask smeared on it) were in the process of being laundered. Now the time came to wake up the hyungs and clean Jake up, physically, psychologically and chemically. For some reason, Jake had pizza smears all over his hair and face. Maybe everyone took the puppy meme a bit too far. Seems like everyone who touched a slice of pizza at one point or another ran their hands through his hair. Either that or Jake ate a pizza with all of his face. Probably both. Most likely both. Everyone’s recollection of pizza time read like the fable of a group of blind men describing a lone elephant. Their elephant was Jake. Their ENlephant.

Before they began to induce awareness into their elders, Sunoo summons all his experience as former class president to call to order a meeting to discussing an agenda to lay out clear, achievable goals in accordance to foreseeable time restrictions, a.k.a when Jungwon and Jay get back home. He wastes no time to get started, but also wastes just enough time to find matching berets for him and Niki to wear for this very occasion. They’re seated at the dining room table across from each other, a single cardboard container of mint and brown between them.

“Dongsaeng line, minus Jungwon assemble!” Sunoo declares, tapping a spoon on a lid of a half pint of mint chocolate ice cream.

“Present!” Niki raises his spoon, shuffling closer to Sunoo.

“And I’m here! Minus Jungwon. Alright the floor is open for mincho time,” Sunoo peels off the seal from the top of the container. “Ugh I’ve been waiting so long to have some mincho without a peanut gallery of haters behind me. You actually like this stuff, so I’d like to extend the honor of the first spoonful to you.”

“Fuck the haters, Sunoo. Mincho haters are peasant class, in my humble opinion.” He carefully digs into the top layer of cold cream, “I don’t get it though, why can’t we just be SunKi right now? What’s the point of the Dongsaeng Line banner if Jungwon’s not around?”

“Well,” Sunoo begins and is briefly interrupted by Niki’s spoon in front of his face, “What the hell, Niki?”

“You gave me the first spoonful, but I want you to have the first taste.”

“Why are you trying so hard to drive me insane?! Niki, I’m already dialed to 11 being whipped for you!”

“Sunoo, please?” Niki pouts, eyes peeking through a curtain of blonde.

“You crazy smooth talker.” The older boy relents, opens his mouth and allows the younger boy to feed him. He loses a few more braincells in that bite. “Aaaaugh, moving on! Where were we? Dongsaeng line versus SunKi. The why of it all. Today we fly under the banner of Dongsaeng Line minus Jungwon for the express purpose of saving our hyungs minus Jay. When we’re SunKi, we’re you and I, and that’s our main alliance. FYI, that’s our ship! As Dongsaeng Line, we’re part of a fleet and our main responsibilities lie within the group, the armada if you will. You dig, my Niki?” Sunoo waves his spoon and makes a show of digging into ice cream for full effect.

“Huh.” Niki absently licks his spoon, “Kinda? You lost me at the naval allegory but I think I understand the main scope of our mission.”

“Keep up, my Niki, my buddy, my pal.” Sunoo takes a turn feeding Niki a spoonful mincho, who just wordlessly obliges. “Moving swiftly along to our main objectives: one, wake the daylights back into Sunghoon hyung and Heeseung hyung, asses their individual abilities to help out with Jake hyung.”

“Right, we need allies!” Niki digs back into the ice cream.

“You’re catching on quick, Niki-boy!”

The younger boy blushes a bit, amused by whatever cartoon ghost of a naval officer Sunoo seems to be channeling right now. “Then number two’s definitely gotta be Operation Save Jake!”

“Precisely, but I vote to change the name to something with a bit more flourish and character, also something funny that’ll haunt him when we tell his grand puppies of this legendary day.”

“I’m guessing you had something in mind?” Niki sends another spoonful sailing into Sunoo’s mouth.

“Of fucking course, I do my dear lad.” he noms, ice cream now part of the rhythm of this conversation. “Operation Thirsty Boy.”

“Pppfffphh, oh my god Sunoo, you’re perfect.” Niki trembles, laughing into his own sleeve, “Marry me.”

Sunoo is briefly speechless but responds with a quick scoop of ice cream volleyed into Niki’s mouth, “This is where we pivot from the main objective and I take us into a very SunKi side quest with goals three and four. We don’t have to accomplish these, they’re completely non-essential and given our future schedules, we don’t have much time to make these happen. I just… really want these last two goals for me.”

“What is it my Sunoo, my lover, my boy?”

Again, Sunoo is speechless but Niki times a spoonful of ice cream to keep the momentum going.

“Side note, Niki, you’re absolutely brilliant in how you catch on to my nonsense, but you are making it exceedingly difficult to meme in real time if you keep launching these assaults at me.” he takes breath, a quick glance to nothing in particular in the upper right corner of the room and screams internally. “Bah! Okay! Last half of the goals, number three: Spa Day 2020. I know it’s dumb, but I just want us all to do something to relax, I’m thinking maybe just light a few candles, call it aromatherapy? I want to do more, maybe get you and Heeseungie hyung in but I have to be realistic. I just cannot have the end of Spa Day 2020 be pizza and gatorade because ugh, that’s not at all in the spirit of Spa Day.”

Across the table Niki fights the urge to fall over laughing. Sunoo is adorable, inexplicably, brilliantly, adorable.

“Number four, this is the most essential of my non-essentials: We have to talk about JayWon. We must.”

“Oh god, yes! JayWon! Finally, can we all just have a public discussion on that— what is it? What are they? Do they know? Why the wha—“

“Exactly! Everyone in the dorm has something to say about it, everyone here is dying to compare notes. I’m almost tempted to bench Operation Thirsty Boy just so we can all speak about our dear Yang leader and his human cape!”

“Hear! Hear!” Niki is caught in the moment applauding.. and for what.

“That’s right! These are our goals! Dongsaeng line minus Jungwon, are you with me?”

“Aye!” Niki raises his spoon.

“Are you with me?!” Sunoo rises to his feet, spoon in the air.

“BRRAAAAAH!!!” Niki follows suit, dramatically crosses his spoon with Sunoo in approval.

“We are gonna save thirsty boy Jake! We are gonna light us some candles! We WILL talk about JayWon, FINALLY!”

“RED BLOOD!!!”

“That blood, indeed Niki! We’re gonna save Spa Day 2020! We’re gonna eat the rest of this half pint! And at some point, we’re gonna wake up the hyungs and hydrate the shit out of Jake!” Sunoo speaks in echos from days campaigning for class president.

“RED BLOOOOD!!!”

Bouncing on their heels, they high-five spoons a few times, an expression of unity.

“Aaah, we have too much fun.” Content, Sunoo moves back down to his seat, “Imma eat more of this, you in?”

“I’m kinda done,” he scrunches up his nose, “but I’ll feed you if you let me.”

“Nikiiii!!! Why!? Ugh!” Defeated, Sunoo sets down his spoon. “Okay, you win.”

The response is a wide smile, “If I got you a monocle, would you wear it?” Niki gets to work gathering another spoonful.

“What the shit?”

“For meetings like these. This is fun,” a little mound of mint chocolate travels across the table, “this meeting is fun. The berets are great but I think it’d be better if you had a monocle.”

“I’ll wear a monocle if… you wear an eyepatch.”

“That’s genius!” Young Nishimura’s eyes twinkle at the thought. “This is why you will be my _Queen_.”

“I am a MAN, Niki! A man!”

“I meant like the band. Prolific and legendary… but also mine.”

“... Quit riding that line between sweet and stupid or you’re sleeping alone, you dig?”

“I dig you, Sunoo.” Niki is very pleased with himself right now,“So much.”

A long exasperated sigh. “Same.”

///////////////////////

From the living room couch Heeseung and Sunghoon have been awake for quite some time, lazily watching their dongsaengs lost in their own world. Heeseung has his arm wrapped around Sunghoon’s shoulders, the younger boy’s head leaned up atop the older’s chest. At several points they find themselves shaking their heads with the largest smiles on their faces, turning to each other to laugh into each other’s clothing to keep from cackling out loud.

“Jesus Christ.” Heeseung snickers into the back of Sunghoon’s shirt. “They’re fucking soulmates!” he whisper screams.

“I can’t!” Sunghoon’s a vibrating mess of tiny giggles, holding on to Heeseung’s sleeve over his mouth like scarf, “They’re so cute, but they’re so weird, but they’re so cute?”

“I can’t bear the thought of interrupting whatever the fuck we’re witnessing,” he’s clutching Sunghoon, falling to pieces in whispered laughter, “It feels like a crime.”

“We’re gonna be stuck here on the couch for the rest of our lives!” Sunghoon mimics fright, flipping over to whisper scream into Heeseung’s flannel, “Heesungie, hold me!”

“I am, baby doll, I already am!” the response is unnecessarily dramatic in a frantic whisper.

“Oh god, please don’t do this to me, do NOT make me weak in front of the children”

Heeseung’s mouth wiggles into little self-satisfied smirk, “Hoonie, eventually they’re going to have to know we’re awake but I don’t want to spoil this moment.”

“Yeah… I can already imagine Sunoo’s face when he finds out we’ve been listening since taking ice cream from the freezer.”

“You’re not wrong but… I was talking about you and I getting caught in this pose that barely passes as platonic within the context of a drunk nap.”

“Oh. Right.” worried, Sunghoon freezes, registering the intimacy implied. “Shit. I don’t want to deal with that either. Sunoo is never going to let us live this down.”

“Plus… this feels nice.” He sneaks a teasing nibble on Sunghoon’s ear. “… and I can’t be asked to pretend to be a responsible adult right now.”

Sunghoon gasps, flustered and appalled, “You jerk! You’re supposed to be _the_ responsible adult!”

“Let me live! I am barely 19 in earth years. Can I not be young and dumb on my half day off?” he’s joking, but there’s an honest plea hidden in his remark.

“Aww…” Sunghoon purrs, uses the moment as an excuse to zero out what little space is left between them. “Darling, be as young and as dumb as you like. You deserve it.” he closes his eyes, eases back in into his chest and sneaks a hand up the back of Heeseung’s shirt. A clear act of revenge. “I don’t mind being like this few more minutes if you can endure it.”

“Keep up that energy and I won’t be held responsible for the trauma we cause these kids,” the embrace tightens with a playful shake.

_(This entire conversation between Heeseung and Sunghoon is spoken in agitated whispers.)_

///////////////////////

The sound of chime, little bells in the distance. For a brief moment, a barrage of sensations: a sour taste, a twinge in his heart, a memory of pizza, a sweet familiar song. With the rugged woods at his back, he greets the sun.

Suddenly, the smell of a bakery. Fresh cinnamon buns. Strawberries with whipped topping. Buttered bread with honey… and a hint of coffee? The scents are warm, they make him feel warm. He’s hungry. Jake follows his nose. To the unknown, he runs. He’s lead down a wooden hall with an open sky, an azure light. The scene is familiar. His heart starts racing in a way he remembers, a memory that paints his lips with the brightest smile. At the end of the hall, a narrower pathway. Dark, reflective floors, modern walls and recessed lighting. The aroma greeting his arrival might be jasmine or hibiscus, maybe rose? He’s not sure. He doesn’t know flowers like that. His footsteps take him to an open plane. Undoubtably, a stage. He knows this place. This was his stage, for him and his colleagues— people he’d come to keep as friends. He looks around the stark lit room. The place is empty but he hears something feint. The sound of voices, voices belonging to faces he knows. Anticipation wells up within him, a growing excitement. His friends, his team mates, his new family. He knows how wide he must be smiling, he feels the muscles on his face bathed in glee. Behind him, mechanical walls recede revealing a familiar shape.

An egg. _The_ egg. The one that sent him down a tempestuous sanctuary where he could freely dream of dreams. The massive structure rotates uncovering a familiar entrance, a doorway to the nest where he found his wings.

Is he visiting? Is he dreaming? He doesn’t care, this place is a memory too fond in his heart. Once again, he yearns to explore.

He steps inside the gate. Voices grow louder, his heart beats faster, the smells of sugared cinnamon, strawberries, hot bread and honey mingling with jasmine or lilac or… Old Spice? He dismisses the last part. Jake knows he doesn’t know flowers, but the dissonance stirs his mood.

The gate closes and the lift begins its descend. He hears the boys’ voices grow louder. He hears enough to recognize. He closes his eyes and guesses who might be waiting on the other side of this ride.

A melodious timbre, his Heeseung hyung. His speaking voice as always so soothing, stable and soft. He remarks at the depth carried by that range of sound. It’s calming and he associates it with absolute trust. He thinks, how lucky to be the person he loves. To hear the sound of sincerity and feel safety knowing every word carries meaning.

Then a dynamic shift of tone, bright and clear. This mix of haughty and bubbly must be Sunoo. He hears the rise and fall of his inflection, vowel sounds elongated for effect. He wonders if he’s arguing or dealing playful admonishment. Regardless, he welcomes the tune. It’s pleasant, like the discordant chatter of home.

Ah, and there it is. A voice he hoped to hear, one he always hopes to hear. Breathy, chaotic laughter. A song in his mind, maybe his favorite of all time. Sunghoon-ah. He winces at how badly he’s whipped for him, even in dream. He yearns to see him. Everyday he does. A bittersweet feeling takes over and suddenly he remembers how grateful he is to have him in his daily life.

Oh and there’s one more. He knows this one. The lowness of this frequency, the juxtaposition of an occasional high-pitched squeal in between. _My son,_ he thinks, _that’s my son Niki!_ He’s so very fond of this sound. In his memory, he hears him the way he usually is in his company. Contemplative, inquiring, measured, sometimes devious. This Niki he hears though, this Niki is an agitated wave of syllables.

He opens his eyes, suddenly uncertain why the ride seems to be taking longer than it should. It’s still going and he’s confused. He checks his senses and still the scent of baked goods, undoubtably Old Spice and now puzzlingly grapefruit throw him into a semi-state of anxiety.

Again he hears it, all the sounds he’s recognized previously, louder— unsettlingly loud. That beautiful laugher, the energetic reprimand, that agitated baritone, a soft usually stable voice growing louder— Holy shit, does he hear fear? Niki’s voice cuts through it all, and the egg starts to rotate again. Jake’s eyes are wide with panic, completely and totally unsure of what awaits him on the other side. The voices grow louder, the scents grow stronger and Niki, he hears him! He hears two words repeated that fill him with abject terror.

Suddenly, a flood of water pouring in from the other side of the gate.

Jake sees the water come up his waist. He thinks that soon he’ll drowning. In his ears Sunghoon’s laughter, Sunoo’s screeching, Heeseung’s desperate cries and Niki’s ominously bellow, “RED BLOOD!”

///////////////////////

“RED BLOOD!” Niki is losing his mind.

“Oh god, what blood?” Sunoo gasps, retreating further.

“THAT BLOOD!! RED BLOOOD!!!”

Jake is slumped over in the tub, half filled with water, a ridiculous amount of soap bubbles completely covering the surface. A feint yet curious spatter of red and pink paint the lather by the small of his back. Niki’s sat by his head, holding his hands out like Lady MacBeth, screaming at a washrag he’s thrown to the tiled floor. Heeseung is standing bent at a 15 degree angle by the waist, knees straight, armed with a double sided loofah ( _“a body buffer slash loofah.”_ Sunoo explained earlier)

“Calm down Niki! Please, I beg you!” Heeseung is agitated, “Yeah, sure he’s bleeding a bit, but at least its not his face. That’s okay right? Right guys? We didn’t do nothing, he’s alright, right?”

Sunoo hands are on his cheeks, just mortified at the state of everything in this current moment, “Niki I told you to scrub his skin clean, not scrub his skin clean off! Oh my god, ENGENEs are going to murder us for what we did to poor Jake hyung!”

Sunghoon is on the bathroom floor, weeping, dying of laughter and weeping, “AHAA HAHAHAHA only Jake! This could only ever happen to Jake!”

“I’m so sorry! I thought I was scrubbing dirt, but these hands!” Niki is teary, still holding out his hands like a man waiting to be cuffed, “These hands belong to the devil!”He throws himself dramatically at Sunoo, who most certainly would’ve toppled over had he not been leaning back on the bathroom countertop.

“There was good in your heart, I know Niki, I know!” Sunoo holds Niki and gives back pats, “I’m so not the person you should be asking forgiveness from, but then again you just soaked my hoodie with wet, soapy, Jakey hands. Please, please get off me right now.”

“Wait, let me see. How bad is it?” Sunghoon rolls up his long sleeved tee back up and squats by where Niki was sat scrubbing. He’s about to lean Jake over while Heeseung holds him upright by the shoulders when Jake stirs.

“What— what the? What?” Jake jolts out of his coma sat up in a soapy, half-filled tub. “WHAT?!”

“Oh shit! Jake!” Heeseung rushes kneel closer the tub, well-lathered loofa in hand, he switches from low-level freaked out to a nurturing calm in zero seconds flat. “Hey, buddy. How’re we feeling? Are we good?”

“Hyung!” Jake is mortified, he is _Edvard Munch’s Scream_ , “I am naked and wet in a tub and literally all but three members of ENHYPEN are in the bathroom with me! Are we good? Who the fuck is _WE_?”

“Royal we, dummy.” Heeseung says matter of factly. “Actually, we’re glad you’re conscious. We were about to tip you over to check on Niki’s little accident.”

Jake’s bloodshot eyes dart to Niki, shyly peeking from behind Sunoo whose hoodie is noticeably damp exclusively on the sides of his trunk. Jake raises an eyebrow at Niki. Unseen by Sunoo, Niki waggles both eyebrows back. Heeseung catches the moment inexplicably astonished.

“He’s very sorry and says he didn’t mean to do it, get—! Get out here and apologize yourself!” Sunoo pushes Niki from out behind him.

“Jake hyung…” Niki is shy, he has his hands behind his back a little afraid to come forward.

“Aww Niki!” Jake, suddenly normal, scoots to the edge of the tub, grabbing the edge and rests his chin on his hands, “Come here son, I am so not mad, I promise. I’m sure it’s not that bad!”

“Hyuung, I made you bleed.” this admission is paired with a shaky delivery with a hard, mostly lower-lipped frown. The youngest waffles over, holding his hands out the entire way, ready to touch Jake’s “I’ll give you my blo blo blo blood.”

“Jesus Christ” Sunoo covers his eyes with his hand, embarrassed. 

“I’m not mad, see?” Wet Jake sends him a big, toothy smile, holding Niki’s hands with a cloud of lather.

“Its really not that bad when you see it up close, I think you just freaked out Niki. It’s like he had a rash that scabbed over lightly and you just scraped off the all scabs bloody.”  (Heeseung makes a gagging noise.)  Sunghoon’s bent over the tub, peering down at Jake’s back, “Its not like he’s going to be doing any shirtless photoshoots anytime soon.”

“Oh god, Heeseung hyung would kill Niki if you were the one passed out and covered in pizza, Sunghoon hyung”

“WOAH!” Jake scuttles to the far side of the tub with an exaggerated splash dowsing parts of Heeseung, “Wow. I was wrong. All but  two ENHYPEN members have seen me naked!” he says, shaking. 

“Not really, I saw a bit of your crack, but nothing downstairs.” Sunghoon straightening back up, runs his hand through his hair with a reflexive lick of his lips, “and what’s the big deal? Weren’t we offering to share a shower booth on ghost day at I-LAND? We’re all guys, it’s fine.”

“Have we all as a group forgotten that I’m gay for you?” Jake struggles to hide his whole body with bubbles, collecting large amounts of lather with his arms.

Heeseung shakes his head in disapproval, “This is why I only let you wash his hair.” he says, making (side)eye contact with Sunghoon.

“Hoon-ah, you washed my hair?!”

“Yeah, I used my shampoo.” Sunghoon is disproportionately defensive, “I use shampoo thats good for your hair. Its just shampoo that prevents your hair from damage. I use that type of shampoo. You got a problem with that?”

Heeseung snickers, “Technically, only two out of seven ENHYPEN members have seen you completely naked if that makes you feel any better.” nodding, still sat at eye-level to Jake.

Sunoo adds, “We each took an appendage and carried you in here. The mathyung & maknae subunit peeled off your clothes and got you in the tub.”

“Yeah, coz I’m not letting my boyfriend see another good looking guy naked if I can help it.” Niki says valiantly, pointing at himself with his thumb.  (Sunoo makes a mental note to debate this point later.)

“I know. My body  is amazing.” Jake remarks, glowing with pride.

“Okay, well!” Heeseung tosses the loofa back into the tub with Jake, “Now that you’re with us in the waking world, maybe you can finish washing up on your own? Sunghoon gave you a shampoo, Sunoo insisted on doing your face and your neck, Niki scrubbed your back and your chest, I washed your arms and feet. Honestly, I’m really glad you came to before things got weird.” he bares a toothy grimace, catching himself almost scratch the back of his head with soapy hands.

“Yes. Absolutely. I would love to bathe myself alone.” Jake nods, embarrassed and almost completely coated in lather to his neck, “I would also love for all of you to kindly exit the bathroom now.”

“Oh thank god, I’m out of here!” Sunoo dashes out of the room, yelling from the hall. “I can’t wait to get out of this hoodie, ew! I think my shirt is wet too, I _SO_ feel gross!”

Niki follows him out a little too swiftly, “I’m gonna wash my hands in the kitchen, hyuuung!” he absolutely sounds like he’s running.

“Wash behind your ears, Jakey. And your actual ears.” Sunghoon walks past Heeseung, still crouched and squeezes his shoulder on the way out.

Soon it’s just soapy Jake and Heeseung who walks over to grab Niki’s discarded wash rag.

He hands it to Jake, “Here. Just between you and I, I prefer using a washrag on my ears.”

“Thanks hyung,” Jake reaches up through lather armor, “I appreciate you guys looking out for me.”

“Well… we still aren’t sure when Jay and Jungwon are getting back, and it’s really not like us to wait until the last minute to act.” Ever-reliable mathyung Heeseung leisurely walks to the sink rinse off his hands and forearms, “and you may or may not have thrown up on yourself. I don’t know. We’ll never tell.” He scrunches up his nose and shrugs playfully.

Heeseung dries his hands on a towel and shoots Jake a wink as he exits.

“Hey, Heeseung hyung?” Jake calls from the tub.

“What’s up Jake?”

In English he says “I love you.”

“I love you too, Jakey.” the response also in English.

Heeseung shuts the door behind him. Jake feels the smolder in his chest, the weight of affection from everyone. He’s burning with embarrassment for the third time that day, but it’s alright. He takes a minute to scan the room, noticing several points of light radiating a soft glow.

Candles in glass jars, some in short tin. He squints toward the vanity countertop to see if he recognizes see the labels. He spots a mug on an electric warmer, stuck to the side of the cup, a post-it reading “coffee for Jakey” with a poorly drawn dog. Beside, a glass vessel with the swirl of a cinnamon bun printed on its surface, a pink candle he assumes must be strawberries and cream, atop the water closet he spots a short jar with a honeycomb pattern. His eyes follow a glow from the floor, he has to peer over the edge of the tub to spot what it is. A tinned candle marked  _ Fresh Baked Bread _ . Jake is impressed. 

He gets up off the tub, pulls the drain and watches soapy water recede. Jake sputters a laugh at the sight of his toenails, a curved line of brightly colored candies. He pulls the curtain and moves to shower like a normal human being. 

Jake feels loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to imagine Niki as this brilliant wordsmith, blurring the lines of genius and linguistic misunderstanding. No surprise that it does sound a bit stupid, but this Niki knows everything he's saying and likes the silliness of it.
> 
> As a recent convert to the cult of k-pop standom, I am so new to the concept of Korean age. In my mind I always ask, what's that in Earth years?
> 
> Niki and Sunoo quote a scene from Peaky Blinders.
> 
> Sunghoon's description of his shampoo is straight out of VLIVE subtitles. I think it's hilarious how it's absolutely not an actual answer to "What shampoo does Sunghoon use?" but also the completely unnecessary amount of secrecy to it is just... _chef's kiss._
> 
> To anyone whose caught all the random quotes from VLIVES, to lyrics to episodes of I-LAND that I've hidden in this chapter, I owe you a bushel of cookies.


	7. Breathing Exercises & Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spa Boys plus two +1s, plus Jake make an effort to make everyone realize that everything essentially Okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Things get a little real for a minute, but we return to your regularly scheduled programming. (feat. a dash of spicy.)

“Hey, are we okay?” from behind, a tug at Heeseung’s sleeve. He’s mere seconds in changing into another familiar garment, a bright pink hoodie _Made by Jay_.

No one who begins a conversation with that line way thinks that whoever “we” might be are okay. Sunghoon is nervous. Mutuality just happened and he’s terribly afraid that whatever they were could slip between his fingers before he had a chance to grasp it.

Heeseung smiles, “Of course we are. Why would you think we aren’t?

The response should be a relief, but the vibe is off.

“You haven’t called me ‘ _Hoonie_ ’ since Jake woke up and… you referred to me as ‘ _Sunghoon’_ when you spoke about me to him.” he tries not to seem so sensitive. He hopes he’s just being sensitive.

“I didn’t mean anything by it, but I also didn’t think you’d notice.”

“Why?” the tone is accusatory. He doesn’t mean to be, but truth leaks out in his voice.

“I like Jake. He’s good people and I know you’ve told me earlier about what he hinted out on the balcony.” Heeseung’s eyes soften. They look sad. He looks sad. “He’s damaged, for sure. One day he will heal, we’ll all help him get there but… He loves you.”

“Don’t.” Sunghoon clutches at his sleeve, distraught, “Please.”

The older boy wears a look of hurt, “I know he loves us and I know, he’s told me himself, I know he loves me too. I… I don’t want to be so cruel.” as the words spill out of his mouth, he realizes that he’s just driven a knife clean through his heart.

These words devastate Sunghoon. He’s not sure how much more emotional turmoil he can handle today. He staggers backward to the closest surface he can find, the steps leading up to his bunk.

Sunghoon falls apart, “Heeseung hyung… please… don’t push me away.” he tries to talk but it comes out a whisper.

“Hoonie.” his voice is impossibly soft. He might cry. He probably will cry. “Sunghoonie…” He can’t hold it in. His composure shatters like glass.

In his effort to be fair and kind, to choose a path away from perceived cruelty, Heeseung learns a lesson he’s evaded all his life. To throw his own happiness under the bus for someone else was one thing but to cause Sunghoon this much pain, to watch him crumble in real time, to hurt his most precious person… Some causes weren’t with the price to gift salvation.

He stumbles forward atop Sunghoon with a new determination, kneels on a step and completely succumbs to object of his desire. “Oh Hoonie, I did it again,”his arms are wrapped around the boy, clutched in a desperate embrace. “I hurt you. I keep hurting you!

A muffled scream reverberates through his hoodie, he loosens his hold enough for Sunghoon to emerge with a violent gasp, “Hyung, I couldn’t breathe!”

“I’m sorry.” Heeseung continues to apologize through tears, “I’m so sorry, Hoonie. I will not let you go and I will not step aside to give Jake a chance. I won’t allow it!”

“I should be livid!“ Sunghoon clenches his fist on his chest and resists the urge to deck him across the face but at the last minute resolves to dissolve into the embrace. From the fabric of Heeseung’s hoodie he confesses, “but…I’m so tired from crying. I’ve just cried too many times today.”

He kisses Sunghoon’s hair a few times and cradling his head to his own heaving chest.

He feels guilt, an abundance of it. He feels like a murderer. Like a murderer with a heart of gold and a split personality who wakes up from a daze, instantly regretting a mindless slaughter of countless innocents. If the metaphor seems disproportionately hyperbolic, it isn’t. Heeseung’s anxious mind builds a cage around his heart and locks him in with a swarm buzzing with the relentless sting self-flagellation.

Sunghoon has his eyes closed, tears finally letting up. He’s calmer. He’s hurt, but if its Heeseung forgiveness comes easy. He’ll let it go for today. He knows the older boy well, so well he can see the things he fears coming from a mile away. It’s just not Sunghoon’s place to keep those monsters at bay. In his own life are similar beasts but somehow he feels less afraid. He feels it surround him but perhaps because he still lacks the words to give his fear a shape he doesn’t see its entirety. All he sees is the overwhelming horror mirrored in Heeseung’s eyes.

“Sung… hoonie...”

Then he feels the figure above him go slack. It’s not a hug, how he knows that who can say. With urgency, he gathers his hyung in his arms, and leans him back to see his face. Something’s gone horribly wrong.

Stepping out from behind the bedroom doorway is a clean Jake with an empty mug in hand, clad in three bath towels: turban, shawl and sarong. He’s concerned, but he doesn’t know what he just walked in to see although he most definitely has a guess.

“Heeseungie!” Sunghoon calls to him, “Heeseungie!?” he holds him steady, feeling him sway further back.

With a swiftness, shifts his weight to shoulder Heeseung, pirouettes off the bunk bed steps and carefully poises the boy where he previously sat.

“Heeseung!” alarmed by the shortness of breath, the cold, clammy feel of his skin as he cupped his face and his entire form shivering, Sunghoon tries to steady his nerves. “Look at me! Please!”

“Hoonie,” Heeseung’s eyes, brimming with tears, twitching, struggling to focus, “I’m scared.”

Sunghoon’s seen this before. He’s been there before, but his mind’s gone blank. “I’m here! I’m right here!” All he can think to do is take Heeseung’s hands to his chest and squeeze.

“Shit!” Jake snaps into the moment, his empty mug goes sailing across the room to somewhere soft and sprints over to the two, “Hyung! Hoon-ah, what happened?”

“I— I don’t know!”

Jake squeezes into the narrow space, placing two fingers to Heeseung’s jugular vein. His brows are furrowed as he searches his hyung’s face to read the look in his eyes. Terror. His pulse is racing. He’s cold. He’s shaking. He’s breathing fast, much too fast. By the look of his fingers curled up in Sunghoon’s grip, he probably can’t feel his hands.

“Sunghoon-ah.” Jake asks, steady gaze still on his hyung. “Did he try to break up with you?”

“Uhh,” his voice quivers and he breaks into a soft, trembling weep.

“You idiot.” Jake shakes his head with a bitter grin. “Right after I told you I loved you,” he laments, plucking the towel turban off his head to wipe the tears from Heeseung’s face. He leans a hand on a stair and bends down to kiss Heeseung’s cheek, “The disrespect,” he mutters in velvet Australian right into his ear.

Frozen, the Ice Prince wears a face of a child struggling to do complex math. He glances up at Heeseung, still shaking, still cold but now catatonic maybe, most likely, intentionally.

Patting Sunghoon on the head, he switches gears. The next few moments happen in a flash (think: speed force; time is a flat circle.)

“I’ve diagnosed him with an anxiety attack.” Jake sweeps the towel over his shoulder like a scarf. He takes two steps back to the middle of the bedroom “We have to move fast. Hoon-ah, get him to slow his breath,” he commands before taking a long inhale himself.

“YAA!” Jake barks skyward, no longer puppy. “SUNKI! BED ROOM!! ASSEMBLE!!!”

They hear a door burst open, Niki’s the first to rush in, blonde hair buck wild. Sunoo staggers in a second later wearing a completely different hoodie.

“Dad! What happened?” Niki exclaims, quickly reading the room.

“You, get me two candles from the bathroom: one starch, one fruit, stat! Don’t show hyung.” he points at Niki with an outstretched arm for full effect.

“On it!” Niki bolts.

“—And you! Don’t you dare open your mouth until I tell you to and fetch a glass of water, half-full at room temp!” Jake spins around, not bothering to wait for a response, “Hyung!”

Sunghoon’s talking Heeseung through a breathing exercise, “In through your nose… two, three, four… out through your mouth … two, three, four…”

“Good work, Nurse. Step aside and let me have a second with Hee hyung.” Jake holds up his hand and asks, “How many fingers do I have up, hyung?”

“F— Five?”

“Good. Nurse, keep him breathing and don’t stop the rhythm no matter what happens next.”

“… two, three, four…”

Niki and Sunoo are back in the bedroom with their assigned items.

“Kids, get in line!” he waves his hand to beckon the two, “Hyung, I’m going to ask you to touch our faces one by one and identify each by their full name, starting with Nurse— no funny stuff. Time’s up when I call it. Keep moving. Don’t linger. Everyone else, fall into position and be quick to switch and keep your fucking mouths shut, except you with the counting.” he points back at Sunghoon.

Sunoo elbows Niki and nods, impressed.

Heeseung’s eyes are wide with bewilderment but complies anyway. Sunghoon’s level to his lap, he does his best to stretch out his fingers and shakily reaches to stroke his cheek. Sunghoon keeps count as Heeseung feels with both hands. His fingertips are cold and he winces in disappointment at his lack of sensation caressing beautiful porcelain skin... but he’s relieved to feels his voice vibrate on his palm and warm breath tickle his wrists.

He begins with look of longing that melts into smirk, “P—Park... Su-Sung hoon.”

Closing his eyes, Nurse Park smiles, briefly leaning into the hand.

“Next!”

Sunghoon sidesteps, still keeping count, and Niki slides in to rest his chin onto Heeseung’s knee.

On Heeseung’s face, a tiny smile. He takes Niki’s face into his hands and repeats the routine but adds a move resembling a child moving a ball side to side at the end. He’s enamored by his dongsaeng’s cuteness, a bit of his eager energy seeps into his hands and he can’t help but tilt his head to smile. “Nishimu—ra Ri ki”

Niki gives a nod in the affirmative, beaming a closed mouth grin.

“Next!”

“… two, three, four…”

Niki crab walks out and Sunoo sets his cheek onto Heeseung’s lap, in all his scrunched faced cuteness.

Heeseung’s smile grows wider, unable to resist the aegyo and gives Sunoo open palm smooshes, enjoying the bouncy feel of his naturally fluffy cheeks. _How does he keep his skin so ridiculously springy?_ he wonders, amused. “…Kim Sunoo...”

Sunghoon’s still keeping count but he notices, this comedy routine might actually be working.

Sunoo puffs out his cheeks, earning him a toothy smile in response.

“—and I’m next. Don’t fucking dawdle.”

Sunoo bunny hops into Niki and Jake gets on the floor like a puppy, but doctor. His hands are on Heeseung’s knees like paws and his chin rests on the back of his hand paws.

Mind you, still in just a towel for a skirt and a towel for a scarf. Again, the boy’s half naked and 70% of ENHYPEN knows what that looks like (we’re rounding down because Jake skews the math.) He’s exposed and vulnerable. The rash scabs scraped from the small of his back look like a yipes _(Niki grimaces at the sight)_ , firm chest muscles move as he breathes, his arms are toned as shit, abs an absolute gift and to Heeseung its weird. It’s weird because he’s part of the 30% of ENHYPEN who’s seen what all of that looks like (we’re rounding up because Jake skews the math.)

But there he is, Jake face on his on his lap making a little bit of eye contact but mostly lingering somewhere downward and to the left.

Heeseung just goes for it, hands on face, ready for the moment to be over. He won’t dawdle for sure.

But… his hair is an actual look. Stylists would call it a wet look, because it is wet and thats a look. A few damp strands cascade down his forehead, past his eyebrows to his eyes lashes. Heeseung wonders if they’ve always been that long. His bone structure is surprisingly refined, whoever mapped out his face should be given a prize. The biggest mind fuck of them all is that for the second time in the last (less than) 5 minutes he recognizes that Jake, right now, smells like _his_ Park Sunghoon. The familiar scent of shampoo wafts upward from the boy, fresh from a shower. The cognitive dissonance causes a few synapses to misfire and his eyes for some reason have migrated from the shadows around his brow bone, to the top of his nose and further down to his lips.

_Shit. Recent memories._

Jake just sighs. “What’s my name?”

“… two, three? four…”

Heeseung returns briefly to his body. “Jake. Shim Jake.” he says it quick, and briefly realizes all he did was touch Jake’s face and not move his hands at all.

“Good.” Jake jumps back on his feet and switches claps his hands twice, “Thank you Nurse you may halt the count. Moving swiftly along,” he makes a fast forward hand gesture.

Heeseung nods, noticing he feels a little more himself.

“Ddeonu, sing a short note. Any note. Go!”

Sunoo sings, “Aah.”

“Hyung, name that note!” Jake points finger guns at Heeseung.

At this, Heeseung actually perks up this time, “Do. Do sharp.”

“Very good.” Jake nods, “You, the blonde one, take the wheel!”

“Aah.” In comes Niki with a baritone.

“Oh, Niki!” A bit of pride eeks out of mathyung, “Ti flat”

At the show of emotion, Jake grins ear to ear, clad in just towels and an accomplished glow. “Last note!” He points at Sunghoon.

“Aah.” The note sounds as wonderful as _you_ imagine it to be.

“Sol.” Heeseung’s a light shade of pink. “Sol.” He repeats just because.

Two claps again out of Jake, followed by an immediate hand extended in a pose resembling a chivalrous invitation to dance. “For our next trick, I’m going to request you to stand up, if you please.”

Heeseung accepts the invitation and hops off the bunk steps. Jake takes him by the shoulders and spins him to face Sunghoon.

“Kindly keep your eyes the fuck away from this direction, as me and the Dongsaengs prepare the stage” noticeably, Jake’s tone changes. The energy and pace is still up, but he lacks the follow-through to stick to previous verbal flourishes. “I mean, this is the next to last round of sensory checks and we’re almost at the end guys. Apologies in advance for my lack of preparation and maybe the language but I’m running out of steam and I’m starting to feel cold.” He almost slips into a tangent, but pushes through. ”Sunghoon-ah, could you grab one of those beanies laying on Niki’s bunk, like a really long one and take it to round half way down Heeseungie hyung’s nose to use as a blindfold?”

“Yeah, sure Jakey.” Sunghoon looks straight at Heeseung who actually seems to genuinely be enjoying this… ’this.’ He ducks into Niki’s bunk and finds a lilac fold-over beanie emblazoned with a blue embroidered New York Yankees logo. Following instructions, Sunghoon fits the beanie on his crown with the logo side to the back of his head.

Heeseung is practically giddy with excitement, his shy, silly smile returns and he sways side to side in anticipation as Sunghoon carefully pulls down the knit fabric, making sure he’s not snagging Heeseung’s hair or making him look too weird.

For anyone who’s never put a hat on a head (especially a knited one) that isn’t your own, it is the strangest experience. It feels silly and simple in theory, but in the process of making it not look ridiculous (unless they’re very young children who cannot protest with any authority on fashion or style) or feel uncomfortable (assuming you care about the person, period) is surprisingly difficult. And if you like this person enough, it turns into a disproportionately intimate experience for such a minor fashion accessory.

Sunghoon feels all of this and it seems that there’s a yang to this yin if he’s properly reading the progressively bashful expression Heeseung’s face morphs into. He tucks his ears into the beanie with so much delicacy, it almost makes Jake scream in impatience, but instead he breathes deep to reach for some self-control and pleads.

“I love you guys, but please, please, please do NOT take too long. I’m starting to feel very very cold!” Jake starts to hop on his bare feet to induce circulation.

The wish that falls on deaf ears. Jake knows this, he did this to himself. He knows what sort of dreamscape those two have lost themselves in because he’s been there. Once upon a time, this happy little Aussie boy tried this play and got so far in the game he lost time.

Stood behind Jake, Niki tips his head sideways toward his shirtless hyung and gives Sunoo a look. Sunoo nods knowingly and quickly slips off his hoodie. He tosses the baton to Niki who swipes Jake’s wet shoulder towel scarf in a steal. Jake is cold and slow to react, the duo take advantage of lag time and tag teams Jake with a swift hoodie hoodie fit. A masterful move! In slow motion we can see Sunoo pass the left bottom seam of the garment to Niki and in one move bring the hoodie over Jake’s head. Jake is briefly lost in Jersey fabric, and they pull down! They pull down with just enough force, maintaining just the right amount of air time for Jake Shim’s precious not-so-damp-anymore head to peek through and the rest of his face clears the hoodie hole without friction. All the elegance of two boys with one sack snatching a single dog in one fell swoop is channeled into this moment but with a hoodie and a hyung. A legendary feat! Sure, Jake’s wearing a hoodie with both his arms nowhere near inside sleeves, but he can see through top. Hood length and hood width frame his face perfectly, and ladies and gentlemen, we can see his chin. That’s all that matters! Jake is warm, warmer than wet towel shoulder Jake. Everything else— arms and sleeves be damned! Everything else is just a technicality. An imaginary crowd of ENGENE roars in applause.

Niki and Sunoo flank Jake with their thumbs up, smiling ear to ear. Jake is so touched by this very random but very sweet but most importantly functional act of kindness. Jake thinks he might cry. He slips his hands through the sleeves and holds his arms up to give them a hug. Sunki are so fucking pleased with themselves its adorable. They celebrate this moment like its sports.

The three break out of the group hug and fall back into position, lo key, high key hoping they weren’t the only people to witness the moment, hoping for one more point of recognition… and… It becomes very clear Sunghoon hasn’t seen a thing happening beyond Heeseung’s face. If he moved his pupils half a degree in any direction he could’ve but we digress.

Sunghoon is now quietly just adjusting strands of auburn hair from underneath the beanie. It kind of sounds like Heeseung might be giggling, completely blind wearing a hat the wrong way. Sunghoon looks like he’s having so much fun, like child enamored with a new doll. Its cute, but it’s creepy, but it’s cute. And also because Jake invented this play (debatable) he knows he has thoughts he would very much not ever like to acknowledge with the kids about how this could potentially be… and the thought stops there. It is IMPERATIVE that they swiftly move on.

“YA! What the fuck, Park! Are you dressing a corpse? You are CREEPING ME OUT!” Jake just yells into his (Sunoo’s) sweater (hoodie) paws, “Turn that hyung around and can we PLEASE have him smell literally TWO candles. AUUGH!”

Heeseung and Sunghoon just lean forward, laughing into each other’s personal space.

“Alright, Doc.Shim,” Sunghoon’s breathless giggle, he spins Heeseung around and holds him steady by the shoulders. “Your patient is ready to be seen.”

_Seen! Good pun_. Niki thinks, but knows now is not the time.

“Cure me Doctor!” fake maknae Heedeungi holds his fists up, bouncing on his heels, “I _need_ to be healed!”

_Dear ENGENE, Grant me the strength to not bolt the fuck out of this room and abandon my mission.  
_ _— a prayer, by Shim Jake._

Doc.Shim exhales, “Fuck it. Candle number one please!”

Sunoo holds a short tinned candle right below Heeseung’s nose, swirling it in his hand like a sommelier.

“Oooh!” his lips curl up in delight, “Aaah, that’s good.”

“Lee Heeseung, what is the scent of candle? Don’t make a dumb guess, you know the answers as these were literally in the bathroom.” Newly energized by the hoodie, Jake turns on his best game show announcer voice, “I need you to tell me… _what_ this scent is that you recognize.”

Blind behind the beanie, Heeseung grabs whatever he feels is in front of his face (its Sunoo’s entire arm holding the candle) and uses it as a microphone.

“Hi, I— I’m— I’m just so happy to be here today Jakethy, long time viewer, first time contestant.” Jake’s eyes roll to the back of his head, “I’d like to give a shout out to my son, Jungwon-ah, Daddy loves you. Please. Please come back home. And to my brother, his uncle Jay— Jongseong, I just want to say: Don’t touch my son. Just… Don’t touch my son.”

Niki falls to the floor laughing and Sunoo would be there too if he wasn’t a mic stand right now. Sunghoon grabs the bed frame to keep himself up ( _“O Honey No!”_ he exclaims between cackles)

He’s almost there. He’s memeing in real time, but they must press on. Two more steps to go.

“I love you _so_ much Heeseung hyung but I will murder you on the spot if you don’t tell me in two seconds what you smell,” Jake puts his hands, fingers spread open over Heeseung’s hand on the microphone (Sunoo is scared) and speaks into the candle.

“I love you too Jakey. So much.” He leans forward and gives Jake a soft head butt, “But I digress! The answer is—”

Niki makes a drum roll sound with his mouth. Sunoo’s mouth is an entire isosceles triangle. Jake just stands with a grin with his cheek leaned over his own raised shoulder, watching Sunghoon who is a little drummer boy miming a snare drum, watching Beanie Heeseung in his final form wobble left and right like a metronome. Everything about this moment makes Jake so happy. But it has to end, or at least his part has to end.

“K-psSHh!” this is the sound Niki makes to mimic a cymbal crash.

“— Honey.” Heeseung grins in tiny, turns briefly to the boy behind him and repeats the answer with an intentional mispronunciation. “ _Hoonie._ ”

Sunghoon buries his face in his hands, grateful that Heeseung doesn’t have the satisfaction of seeing him flustered yet again.

“Hyung, you are correct. It is honey!” Jake announces and holds for applause. Everybody celebrates.

Jake quickly turns to Niki. “Son, I’m a little concerned that you chose this candle. I asked for a starch and a fruit and— You know what? We’ll discuss this later.”

“Yaaay! I got it!” Mathyung bobbles, balled fists jabbing left and right in glee.

“Alright guys, let’s get to that final smell and let’s make this quick so I can put on some clothes.” Jake claps twice, Niki and Sunoo hold the last candle together under Heeseung’s nose.

He takes a wiff, waving his right hand upward a few times to fan the scent upwards. “Ah. I know this one.” Two more exaggerated sniffs and a declaration, “This. This must be bread.”

“Congratulations! It _is_ bread!” Jake screams, entirely too excited, “This scented candle is called Fresh Baked Bread! Because for some reason, our teammate Kim Sunoo is a crazy person who thinks _‘Yes! I’m on a diet and have a candle shaped hole in my heart so why the fuck not? Add that shit to cart!’_ ”

Heeseung and Sunghoon fall into each other, laughing, delirious, stumbling into a familiar spot— the steps leading to Sunghoon’s bunk bed.

Sunoo’s mouth is a wide rectangle, he is shaking in silent laughter, “Oh my god, you didn’t have to READ me just to make these two laugh.” He is supremely amused but offended because on this specific observation is so spot-on, it could’ve been an anecdote.

Niki hugs Sunoo from behind and laughs in a similar way, unsure what to make of the commentary even if it is Jake and it is funny.He’s heard rumors that his dearest hyung might have been born with a hole in his heart. He doesn’t know if its true, he hasn’t asked and they’re not quite there yet.

He doesn’t want to think about it. He just holds Sunoo a little closer.

Jake looks around the room, watching the two older boys hold each other giggling. Just a few minutes ago Jake walked in on them crying, maybe fighting and then an anxiety attack. Despite his current state of (un)dress and how cold he’s been for the past few minutes from the waist down, inside, he’s warm. He takes a beat to appreciate the scene.

Sunoo hands Jake the glass of water requested earlier, accurate in his assumption that this was the next prop he’d ask for.

Jake nods in acknowledgment, takes the glass and announces, “Heeseung hyung, keep the beanie on,” he takes a few steps forward. “In case you haven’t figured it out, we just walked you through a five step technique called Grounding. Identify five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell. The last sensory test calls for you to identify a taste you can recognize.”

“Jakey…” Heeseung gasps, moved by the gesture. He does feel better. The rhythm of his breath, his feel of his skin, his control over his extremities, the emotion in his heart and the joy in his voice… He feels so much better.

_Heeseung thinks to himself: “Right now, I wear a hoodie Made by Jay, but this smile? My smile at this very moment... this was Made by Jake.”_

Sunghoon looks up at his best friend, expressing so much gratitude in his eyes. Leaving the older boy seated at the bunk steps, he stands to take the glass from Jake. _Thank you_ , he mouths.

_Any time_ , is the silent response.

Jake announces, “Hyung, I’m going to give our Nurse an item. Take your time figuring it out and clearly identify the flavor upon recognition. When you’ve guessed the taste correctly, I guarantee you’ve recovered from your anxiety attack.” he’s halfway to hand the water off when at the last minute he changes his mind.

The glass raises, Jake drinks. He’s quiet about it. Surprised, Sunghoon’s eyebrows dart upward. He doesn’t know when it happened but he notices that Sunoo and Niki have left.

Jake takes two fingers to his lips, reaches over to press them lightly onto Sunghoon’s. “Hand off complete!” he announces with a smile, “Nurse, I’ll leave you to it.”

Sunghoon is left without an opportunity to react as Jake tosses a salute, twirls on his heel to leave, silently closing the door bedroom behind him.

“I’m not gonna lie, I’m buzzing with excitement.” Heeseung’s smile is huge, he starts talking to himself excitedly, flattening down the beanie over his eyes, “I mean I think I know its literally plain water, but I’m curious to see if there’s something else added in at the last minute. Jake is a sneaky son of a bitch after all.”

“You have no idea.” The younger boy mutters out of his daze.

“Ho-ly shit! That mad man!” He holds his hands out, anticipating a glass, “Gimme! Ah, I promise I’ll be careful so I don’t make a mess. Is it yuja? Cucumber? Did he throw some candle wax in there? I might kill him if its soap, but trust I _am_ going to murder him if its a scoop of mincho—“

A sigh.

“Don’t worry,” Sunghoon grabs Heeseung’s wrists and kneels over him, the stance a reversal of previous events. “You’re allowed to make a mess, _darling_.” He descends to deliver a slow, lingering kiss.

Heeseung learns **_three_** important life lessons as he’s freed from the grip of an anxiety attack.

    1. Fear is a mind killer, a path to the dark side, making strangers of friends. 
    2. Benevolence isn’t his to give, but a gift to receive.
    3. He would fold the world in half to claim his favorite flavor.



He yields to every bit of sweetness in his mouth, brave in his newfound acceptance to admit defeat. He’s weak for this boy, so very weak, but it’s okay. Essentially, everything is and has always been okay. Still blinded by beanie, he musters up the courage to take this gift with his hands, pulling Sunghoon into his lap like a complimentary Tetris block. He closes the space with deliberative force, sliding his arms beneath the younger boy’s top to feel his smooth, muscled back. Atop, the boy shudders but resists the urge to peel away from the kiss. Heeseung’s fingers linger on the base of his spine and the nape of his neck, reciprocating affection with the movement of his mouth. He pulls him deeper into himself, the tender caress of his touch morphing into a possessive grip. Sunghoon relents, moaning into his breath, feeling the older boy’s lips smile at the invitation as he slips in his tongue.

Snapped back into lucidity, Sunghoon pulls the beanie from Heeseung’s head. Auburn hair wild and charged with static. It takes the older boy a second for his eyes to adjust to the sudden introduction of light. Details fall into place and his vision focuses on the scene unfolded above him. The most beautiful person he’s ever known, eyes glazed, cheeks flushed, breathing labored, lips painted pink by the rush of blood. He’s perfect. Heeseung’s sanity teeters over the brink at the realization he’s got his arms so far up Sunghoon’s back that he’s practically topless. He fights the impulse to retract his limbs and apologize, instead lowering his eyes to linger on the shadows of lean, milky white abdominal muscles.

_Jesus fucking Christ._

“What is it?” Sunghoon asks, breathless and imploring, “The taste you recognize.” Resting his elbows on the step by Heeseung’s shoulders, he lifts his hands to smooth down the disheveled mess of dark red strands. “I need you to identify the taste you recognized. Please?” The last word, suddenly bashful.

Heeseung makes a mental note to give Jake a hug with a running tackle.

Through a soft gaze and an even softer smile, he straightens his back and responds with clarity. “Park Sunghoon.” Heeseung retracts his limbs from underneath his shirt to cup his beloved’s face and continues, “Sunghoonie, _my_ honey, my _dearest, most precious_ Hoonie.”

Sunghoon, relieved, shifts his hands to both sides of his hyung’s face. “That’s correct!” Misty, he laughs, “Heeseungie, you’re cured!”

He moves to gather him into a hug to which Heeseung puzzlingly prevents, shaking his head a nope.

“Shut the fuck up, Park. Let me finish.” admonition delivered with a smile.

Sunghoon with his face still in Heeseung’s hands nods in tiny to relent.

“My dear, my dearest, my most precious person, You. Undeniably, my absolute most favorite flavor.”

Sunghoon is a bag of Starburst FaveReds.“Heeseungie...”

“I would murder a small island nation to keep tasting you—“

“I beg you, hop off this analogy now or I’m not going to be responsible for the trauma I inflict upon these steps,” Sunghoon interrupts, supremely flustered, saying too many syllables in one breath.

Heeseung bites his lip, a mischievous smirk, moving to hold Sunghoon’s hands in his. “You’re right. I’m being silly. It’s not fair to you how much I’ve waffled between cowardice and courage today. We haven’t had 24 hours of confirmed mutuality yet I’ve already seen you cry too many times.”

“It’s okay, Heeseungie.” a soft, knowing reply, “I know who you are. With everything else, you’re amazing and there’s nothing you can’t achieve with excellence. I just know— and maybe I’m a little flattered to know— that with me you’re a mess. Around me, with me, _because_ of me you’re a bumbling mess. Our perfect ace, everybody’s reliable Heeseungie hyung— it fills me with pride to know _that guy_ is _my_ personal fuck up.”

“Ouch. You just read me to filth, but do go on,”

“ _Darling_ ,” Sunghoon continues, completely relaxed as he’s sat facing him on his lap, “I don’t pretend to know the challenges you’re facing. I know there’s no replacing what we’ve lost and... you need time. But I’m not afraid...”

_“—are... you really quoting Hamilton right now?”_

_Sunghoon shrugs, “I don’t really know English like that, but yes.”_

“... just let me stay here by your side.” Sunghoon slips off his lap to take a seat on a step, “That would be enough.”

“Would that be enough?” Heeseung searches Sunghoon’s eyes, stroking the back of his hand.

The younger boy leans into his shoulder, closing his eyes in response, “Isn’t this enough?” he breathes out, words are caked in sincerity.

Heeseung sits in silence, thinking. He studies Sunghoon’s hand, tracing lines from knuckle to impeccably shaped fingernails. He closes his eyes to feel the younger boy’s body slowly rise and fall with every inhale and exhale. He recalls the scent that surrounded him earlier, the ghost of jasmine, hibiscus or rose shampoo, the sour notes of sweat and tears, the heady memory of musk. The taste he can recognize unadulterated by cucumber, yuja and alcohol.

“No it isn’t, baby doll.”

“What?”

“This isn’t enough.”

“Wait, WHAT.”

Heeseung (physically) shakes off the last hooks of fear, jumps off the bunk steps and pulls Sunghoon up by his hand with so much force he falls into his arms as if in a tango.

“Just you wait, Park Sunghoon.” he says with a smolder, eyes ablaze like a man set to burn down the stage. “I am not throwing away my shot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those 5 steps to shake out of an anxiety attack are real! Seriously, look it up. It might save you or someone you love should you ever face this problem in real life.
> 
> Doc.Shim is a meme image of Jake's head photoshopped on a k-drama doctor's body. I can only attribute to a mysterious user named @yangjungwon23. I don't know which social media platform this first appears on, but it is a legend in the group chat I frequent. Check it out, I swear that meme is a gift. When me and my buddies are assaulted by ENHYPEN content, those "help im what so cute im soft I need a doctor " moments, one of us will throw this meme up. Every time, Doc.Shim saves the day.
> 
> Also, a shout out to my favorite YouTube video compilation series on earth: "Jungwon being Heeseung's Overprotected Son" by the channel ENHYPEN CHAOS, formerly I-LAND CHAOS.  
> It is an absolute public service to humanity. To the good people behind this channel, thank you so very much for your service.
> 
> Yeah, I quoted Hamilton.  
> I'm not sorry. I should be, but I'm not.


	8. A Back Rub & Clean Laundry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beverageless, the Spa Boys form a braintrust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We set the table for our main dish.

Jake emerges out of the walk-in closet, barefoot but fully dressed. He catches Sunoo leaned up against the door frame to the make-up room typing away on his smartphone.

“Whatcha doing?”

“Oh, hey hyung.” Sunoo doesn’t bother to look up, “Just making a few notes on what’s happened so far, you know just covering our bases to keep our story together for when our real parents get home.”

“Oh jeez, don’t let Heeseungie hyung and Sunghoon-ah hear you say that. You’d break their heart!”

“Pfff,” he snorts a pejorative laugh, “Please. I don’t think they’d notice if the whole world burst into flames right now.”

Jake cranes his head over to peek at the younger boy’s screen, reading a line out loud. “ _Disinfect Bunk Steps ASAP_. Smart add to the chore list! Put that in bold and italics and you’re gold.” he flashes an okay sign with his hands to accentuate.

Sunoo gives a silent nod, complies and adds a siren emoji for full effect.

Jake watches him tap through on his Notes app, writing out a to-do list, flipping between documents and the Calendar app to add a few flourishes of commentary in all caps, recognizing a hint of a coded emoji system.

“Shit, you’re actually not half bad keeping tabs of the day, I mean its not even 8:00 yet and already I’m beat.”

“Isn’t he the best, Jake hyung?” Niki fawns, walking to the living room with an enormous pile of dry laundry, “I couldn’t get away with half the shenanigans I pull on the low if I didn’t have Sunoo as a partner in crime.” He sets the pile down across their giant sectional couch.

Jake is relieved to see its mostly blankets, a pillow and the clothes he wore earlier before spritzers went sour.

“Everyone knows that crimes are easy, getting away with it is where us intellectuals shine,” Sunoo says this, like it’s just a thing to say in casual conversation. “Right, Niki?” He raises a hand to meet the youngest with a high-five, shuffling past both hyungs to grab a glass of water from the kitchen.

“Fuck. You two are evil.” Jake smiles with so much pride, “Not gonna lie, I love it.”

Niki downs a glass of water, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Hyung, I don’t know what just happened in there earlier, but I think you might be my real Dad. In the group. Also spiritually.”

Jake sputters a laugh, “I don’t know about that, Niki-boy. I asked for one starch and one fruit and you gave me bread and honey. You’re no son of mine,” he walks over to the kitchen with a chuckle, slinging an arm around his tall dongsaeng.

“I knew what you were doing before you called it out,” Sunoo finally puts away his phone. “Five steps to ground yourself in an anxiety attack. I’m not sure how medically sound your interpretation of it was, but Christ you nailed the landing.”

“Wow. Sunoo, for real?” Niki raises an eyebrow in awe. “You knew that? I thought we were reenacting a comedy routine to get the hyungs to make-up.”

“My dearest Niki, of _fucking_ course I knew what that was. You’re looking at a former Student Body President. I had to take a few first-aid classes back in my day. You’d be surprised how much about everything I actually know.” Sunoo dusts off his shoulders, impressed by his own accolades.

Jake wonders why Sunoo talks like he’s older than everyone right now, but then he remembers who Kim Sunoo is.

“Well thanks, guys. I appreciate your appreciation. I hope it works out for them. I love those two so much” Jake waves Sunoo over to join in the side hug. Once more, three boys make a hug sandwich and Jake is a slice of cheese. “I mean, I just… hear me out for a sec. We’ll peel those two away from the bedroom after my speech. Just give this hyung a moment to ramble, alright?”

SunKi flank Jake, his arms on both their shoulders, their arms stretched across the back of the kitchen counter behind the older boy. They’re listening. Before today, Jake was a person they both respected but after the events of the last few hours, he most definitely has leveled up in status in their minds.

“You know, what’s frustrating,” Jake begins, “is that I can’t believe how some people shy away from claiming what’s already clearly theirs. You two are young, I’m assuming you haven’t been burned yet, but for someone like me who’s tried _so_ hard and failed so miserably at this stuff I just…” he growls a bit, buying some time to put the thought together, “Look. On paper, me and Layla were never going to work out—“

“— Your _dog?_ ” Niki asks, puzzled.

Sunoo shoots Niki a quick glare from across Jake’s chest, pinching his arm from behind.

“—No. Sunoo-ya be a doll and feed my son the backstory later, but shut the fuck up Niki and let me talk—”

Jake breathes in and continues, “It couldn’t have ever worked out for that little Aussie boy Jaeyoon because that guy wasn’t a person yet. He didn’t know who he was. Poor Layla just got caught up in my life, maybe the right person at the wrong time— but I don’t know! And I don’t give a shit to know. If I can’t be ENHYPEN’s Jake, then I don’t want to be anyone’s anything.” He sighs, “I mean, even my dog, my sweet Lyla! God, I love that dog with all my heart, but I’ve got to leave _even her_ behind to be this person I know I’m destined to become. This dream, this life— it means so much to me and no matter how deep I love, I cannot and I _will not_ choose anything over it.”

Jake heaves, pulling away from his hoodied hands to breathe. With so much empathy in his voice he continues, “Those two, you two, even those idiots Jay and Jungwon— you guys… you’re all walking down the same long, drawn-out line. You have that support and that same vision of the future, to have someone beside you who loves you… I envy how endeared you all seem to be at the sight of each other’s weaknesses and how eager you are to push through it all. Every time I see how happy you make each other, a part of that fills me with hope I’ve lost... and a part of me hopes to feel that way inside.”

Niki steps out from beside Jake, feeling him tremble in emotion. He starts to shake and throws his hood up in impulse. Sunoo reads the energy and quickly reaches for a box of tissues across the kitchen island.

“I…” He folds the sleeves of his hoodie into his hands and buries his face in the fabric, “I would give the world to feel that joy in my life.” Jake breaks down and cries.

Teary with the box of tissues still in his hands, Sunoo throws himself at Jake and starts crying into his shoulder. Niki, silently weeping, throws his arms around the two, unsure of what to say.

“Jake hyung, we’re here. With you. Beside you,” Sunoo warbles through sniffles, “and we love you so much. You’re the kindest, sweetest, most hard working person and I am _honored_ to walk along side you down this path.”

“Hyuung,” Niki adds, a mess of empathetic tears flowing down his cheeks, “I love you _so_ much. You’re incredible! You’re smart and weird but you get it. You’re funny without meaning to be and you’re brave but you get spooked easy… and you’re right! Your body IS amazing.”

“Jesus CHRIST Niki! Boundaries!” Jake starts laughing at the inappropriateness of the comment, “But thanks… my body _is_ amazing.”

“I mean, I’ve seen it! _All_ of it!” Niki, still crying tightens the embrace. “And I _like_ what I saw!” The last comment comes out as a high-pitched whisper.

“JE-SUS what?! Sunoo-ya! Are you really not going to say anything?!”

Sunoo giggles into Jake’s shoulder, still refusing to move from his tear-stained spot, “Hush, hyung. I’ll allow it.”

“I mean, you’re hot! And you’re _sweet_! And you’re like my dad when I can’t be with my real dad and I love you so much work-dad!”

“Don’t make me flustered! And quit making this weird! I’ll report this to HR if I have to.”

Tears turn to laughter, silly giggles cut through unmistakable sobs. In the kitchen, Spa Day Trio plus boyfriend minus Sunghoon are a melted cheese sandwich. A whimpering, giggling mess of sobs.

///////////////////////

Heeseung and Sunghoon finally emerge from the bedroom. No one dares to comment on how they look at that moment. No one wants to have that conversation. But in all seriousness, they look just fine. Like disheveled boys who just got done crying for far too long, but the assumptions linger. Also nothing happened, just more tears, more talk. Maybe a few more kisses. Who knows.

“Hey,” Heeseung strolls lazily to the living room. “Whatcha guys up to?”

“I’m finishing up folding laundryyy—” Sunoo sings, stacking the last of the blankets in a pile.

“I’ve got back rubs for Jake-hyung!” Niki adds, channeling Jay, he tries his best to deliver a satisfying back massage.

Jake’s laid out on a series of floor pillows with his head to the ground, “YAaaA! Too much pressure Niki! You’re gonna crack a rib if you keep jabbing that spot.” He smacks the floor in protest.

“But hyung, WikiHow says that applying pressure to this spot helps with circulation.”

“You might wanna run that through Snopes, Niki dear… before you puncture a lung.” Sunoo lifts the pile to put away back in the bedroom. Passing Heeseung he asks, “Where’s Sunghoonie hyung?”

“In the bathroom, washing his face,” his mouth distorts into a guilty pout. “I made him cry too much today.”

“Heeseung hyung, I love you and I’m glad you feel better now, but I swear to god I’m gonna punch your perfect teeth in if you keep making that boy cry.” the brown haired boy’s threat is muffled by pillow, “I told you to take care of him, damnit!” He says it in jest, but the sentiment is real. Jake does feel extremely protective of his soulmate. He feels him hurt, even if he isn’t sure why. As much as he admires and respects Heeseung, he’d break him in half if he ever harmed his best friend.

The message is received.

_Yeah, I deserve that._ Heeseung thinks to himself. He trusts Jake to make that threat a promise.

Sunghoon steps out the bathroom with a towel slung over his shoulder, running into Sunoo exiting the bedroom. The younger boy pulls his favorite hyung in to a quick hug.

“You good, hyungie?” the question’s asked in a hushed tone. Sunoo scans his face, noticing the bloodshot look of his eyes, the swelling of the skin surrounding and his redness of his nose. “Ugh I can’t lie. You’re still handsome, but you look like shit. We gotta do something about your face before JayWon get home.”

“Shut up! You’re one to talk.” Sunghoon throws a playful slap at the younger boy’s chest. “You’re gonna have to tell me why later, but you look like you’ve been crying too.”

“Well. Honestly, look at everyone else.” he points to the rest of the squad talking in the living room. “We’ve all been weeping. Even Niki who hasn’t had a reason to cry just fell apart at the sound of Jake hyung’s heart break. I keep trying to cook up a scheme to cover this up for when Jungwon and Jay get back... maybe throw on a drama and say we’ve marathoned something supremely depressing? I’m not too sure I can convince everyone to read series spoilers to fake like we have though. Plus anything that moves us so hard we all break face is bound to get those two curious enough to want to watch it. That blows our cover, and I can’t stand lying about my media consumption.” winded, he takes a breath and keeps going, “To top it off, Jake hyung is dying. He seemed okay for a bit but then the last round of bawling did him in.” Sunoo frowns and clutches a drawstring of his hoodie.

The fatigue of the day finally settles in and the younger boy takes a few steps back to lean back on a wall to steady himself, “We’ve fed him with an expensive amount of vitamin tablets, some questionable hangover powders and he can barely keep down water. He looks and feels like shit. Even if he wants to, I don’t think he has it in him to suffer in silence until bed time. I even looked into ordering him an IV drip, but _I’m legally a child!_ And that shit does not same day Amazon Prime. I mean I could make a few calls? But are we really going to try to find out how many ENHYPEN members it takes to find a vein? Hyung, imagine the track marks! I’m almost a hundred that Niki might actually be scared of real blood. This is too much!”

Sunoo who’s been bursting with energy and an endlessly scheming runs dry, “I mean... How do we get away with today without getting busted?”

“I don’t know Ddeonu. Maybe we tell them the truth?” Sunghoon suggests, not quite grasping how many individual drama arcs were crammed into the day. “... Wait. you’re right.” the realization is slow and weighted, “This was a lot. And who has the time cram together a synopsis?”

“Don’t be shocked, but while you guys were in the bedroom recovering from Jake’s first aid rendition of Chamber 5, I’ve pieced out the day’s events into bullet points—“

“Of fucking course you have.“

“— and a threw down a spreadsheet with simple charts on GSuite—“

“My god, you’re brilliant.

“— I know.” Sunoo takes a second to bask in that compliment, “With that data I thought about whether or not I had enough time to make a Google Slides Presentation on my phone but... it’s not a matter of condensing this day into something digestible. Sunghoonie hyung, it’s _the content_. Right now our relationship diagram is midseason slice-of-life anime tier, which is _the worst_. I don’t want to stress out Jungwon who’s so fresh at being our leader and I’m worried I haven’t gotten a text from Jay humble bragging about a shopping haul. Neither of them have reached out to any of us all day which means Jungwon’s either drowning in busywork or Jay’s tangled in something unspeakable or they’ve run away together to elope or a fourth more wholesome option that completely evades me because this day— Hyung! This day’s been SO much for all of us.”

“It’s worse than we thought.” Sunghoon winces at his own imagination, “I haven’t given a second to consider what they’ve been up to.”

“Ugh. I know.” Sunoo hangs his head in defeat. “We have to get started doing what we can do,” he raises his hand to touch Sunghoon’s head, “starting with your eyes and your cheeks. You’ve got cry face worse than all of us combined and you’re already so pale that there’s no hiding it.”

“Ugh. I know. I don’t know if sleeping this off will be enough. Tomorrow’s schedule is going to be brutal.” Sunghoon laments, feeling the puffiness of his face.

Sunoo crosses his arms to think. “I need help,” his declaration an unapologetic admission of defeat, “we’ve got to crowd source this issue. My brain’s fried.”

“Tap out Ddeonu,” Sunghoon wraps an arm around his dongsaeng and walks with him into the living room. “let’s run this by Spa Boys plus +1s. Give us a chance to be hyungs about this.”

///////////////////////

“Everybody sit down please,” Sunghoon begins in his usual deliberate tone. “Obviously, today’s been... a day. While we weren’t that drunk— except for Jake— but we are all very dehydrated from crying and I don’t think any of us are in a state where we could pass a sobriety test or an IQ test or... some other test. We’re not all here. That’s the gist. With that said, I’ll yield the floor to Heeseung because thats just what’s happening.” his thoughts trail off because he’s barely there.

Sunghoon takes a seat at the couch next to Heeseung in full leader-mode furiously scribbling on a small whiteboard.

On the floor huddled beside each other is an overwhelmed Sunoo, leaned up against Niki, who’s sitting on Jake’s back. No one is sure if he’s administering a massage or just mimicking what he’s seen on a tutorial at 2.5x speed. Either way, Jake is face down on a throw pillow, visibly dead.

Heeseung straightens up from writing and calls the meeting to order. “Guys, we obviously have a few issues to tackle before JayWon get home. Don’t mean to stress anyone out, but we’re running against the clock.” He continues, handing the board over to Sunghoon, now an easel. “We’re all brilliant in our own right, but now we’ve got to come together and lean on our strengths. Before we begin, I’d like to go down the line and remind you all what you bring to this braintrust. I’m counting on you to dig into your individual fields of expertise to bring this day to a peaceful close.”

“First of all,” Heeseung points his marker at Sunoo, “You. Our lead tactician. For schemes seen and unseen, thank you. I don’t want to know what you’ve done and what you’ve got up your sleeve, but I know right now you’re tired. Fall back from the lead and take a break. I’m assigning you to asset and data management. I ask that you focus on this as we weigh our challenges.”

“Got it, Heeseung hyung!” Sunoo chirps, more than a little relieved to accept a supporting role.

The next to be addressed is the boy face down on the floor. Unbothered by this detail, Heeseung still points his marker at his chestnut hair, “Jakey. You’re down. You’re dead. You’re in clear need of assistance. I’m going to need you to reach into that lack of energy and bring up anything and everything that could possibly be a source of concern. To put it bluntly, I need you to neg me. Poke holes into the ideas you hear, tell us if you need anything more. Got it buddy? Groan if you’re with me.”

A low, rumbling sound escapes from behind a pillow and Jake raises a weak thumbs up.

“Niki!” Heeseung’s marker points at his nose, “You’re the wild card. The maverick. I like that. We like that. Think outside the box for us. Get random. I don’t care if it is a meme or wordplay or something you clicked on the internet. I don’t know how or why but sometimes, most of the time, your ideas just work. Please be this team’s imagination, dream big and push forward when reason fails to get us where we should be. Can you do that for me buddy? Also, maybe get off Jake. You’re… you might be squeezing the life out of him and he might not have the strength to express it.”

“Fuck yeah, hyungie!” Niki nods his head excited, crawling away from his seat at the small of Jake’s spine. Jake lets out a concerning gasp in relief.

“Finally, Hoonie,” he starts to point but hurriedly changes his mind. It seems rude to point at Sunghoon. “You’re. Just. So beautiful. Stay gold. Keep up the good work.”

“Hyung! Focus!!” Sunoo throws his head back, rolling his eyes as far into his brain as he can.

“— right, thank you!” Heeseung snaps back into his role as acting chairman of the Spa Day BrainTrust, “Sunghoon-ah you literally lived through this day from the moment it was Spa. Sunoo-ya’s compromised at the moment, I need you to fill in the gaps he can’t recall. Remember and confirm shared experiences. Think of Jungwon and think of Jay. Think of the things they’d pay attention to. Take a bird’s eye view of the story. Hoonie, tell me what I can’t see from this perspective. Bat those long lashes and be my eyes. And keep holding the board up, please.”

Sunghoon lifts the whiteboard up to his nose and does a little shimmy. “You can count on me Heeseungie,” he says, trying his best to cover up an expression he absolutely fails at hiding.

“Alright. Obviously, I’ve got the floor. I will be your moderator this evening and I kindly ask that we keep the commentary to a minimum unless it adds to the productivity of this conversation. First down the docket:” he points to a line with the end of a marker with the intention of going down the list. “Fix Jake. What is state of our Jake? Buddy, what do you feel now and how would you like to feel by the end of the day?”

“Uuugh,” Jake starts with a groan. He’s shifted position to a yoga child’s pose, talking with his mouth to his knees. “My head hurts and I’m hungry but my throat’s kinda raw. My back sort of burns, but I think that’s from Niki sitting on my patch of rash. I would like to feel human again.”

“Thank you for that concise report Jakethy.” Heeseung nods in acknowledgment. “The boy’s dehydrated. His throat is hoarse, most likely from screaming and throwing up pizza. His rash is agitated.” He summates accurately. “My first instinct is to strategically feed him and induce hydration, but we can’t give him too much liquid or anything too spicy or acidic. And we can’t order anything in, we spent too much already on pizza. We’ve also got to do something about his back. The floor is open for suggestions.”

“How about… a simple rice porridge?” Sunghoon suggests, “Thats easy on the tummy.”

“It is, but we’ve got to give him more than carbs.” Sunoo continues, “He’s gotta have something a bit more substantial, calorie wise.”

“Yeah, he kinda threw up… so much.” Niki adds without a trace of judgement, just concern. “I think I saw a sticks of Pepero in there too.”

“Damn it Jakey. Learn to chew your food.” Sunghoon closes his eyes to dispel that memory.

“I threw up snack time too? The burning in my throat suddenly makes so much sense,” Jake rolls over on his side, “and so does the hunger.”

“AH!” With a smack of a balled fist on his palm Sunoo excitedly proposes, “A hearty risotto! I’ve seen a few recipes on Pinterest we could try. We have instant rice and tins of bone broth. Jay’s got wedge of fancy cheese in the fridge—“

“—fry up some bacon—“ Niki adds.

“Shit yeah!” Heeseung exclaims, earning Sunoo one clap and a point of a marker. “That’s what I’m talking about.”

“Oh Ddeonu! Toss in some crushed almonds and a few sprigs of greens you’ve got saved for those fancy salads you make,” even Sunghoon’s caught in the excitement.

“Salad.” Sunoo says in English. He does this just to say _‘salad.’_

“Damn, that actually sounds good.” Jake perks up from the floor.

“Cool!” Heeseung is pleased but remains focused. “Sunoo-ssi, if you don’t mind I’m putting you on kitchen duty. Make a good bit for the rest of the class to enjoy if we’ve got enough stock.”

“We’ve still got a bottle and a half of Gatorade in the fridge too if you want it?” Sunghoon points out helpfully.

“I don’t know if I can with that right now. There’s just a ghost of that flavor still in my throat and I just… no.”

“Oh yeah, Niki and I went out to get some fancy alkaline water if you wanna try. I don’t know if that works, but it looked legit. Ish.” Sunoo adds.

“Buhh… I know I need it, but I can’t bring myself to think of liquid.”

Sunghoon’s mind drifts back to the beginning of the day and remembers, “Ddeonu, can we have some of that tea from this morning? I know its expensive, but you said something about it being anti-inflammatory and it did smell really nice. Might not be a bad idea to make Jake some honeyed milk tea.” putting a finger on his chin he thinks out loud, “We still have some yuja and I know we’ve got some powdered ginger in the pantry. Might be good for his throat, and sort of gentle going down, maybe?”

Sunoo’s mouth flies open, impressed. “Damn it, you’re good. Yeah! Totally. Help me in the kitchen later and we’ll get that done.”

“I’m SO proud of this moment” Heeseung closes his eyes to savor the memory.

“Me too. I fucking love everything about right now.” Jake crawls onto Niki’s lap, some life returning to his voice. “I’ll sip some water to hydrate, but that hot honey milk tea thing sounds like the hug my throat needs right now.”

Niki extends his legs to accommodate Jake’s unspoken ask to lay his head on his lap, “What about your scabless rash, hyung?”

Heeseung makes a gagging sound. “Please refrain from using that word too liberally, the _S_ word. Please.”

“Shit, sorry.”

“Sunoo, do you have something we can use to make Jake hyung feel better?” Niki strokes Jake’s hair, mindful of how the older boy’s expression changes at his touch.

Sunoo furrows his brows, thinking. “Wait. I might? No, I do. Let me run back to my office, I’m pretty sure I’ve got just the thing,” he scurries into the make-up room, returning with a large, overstuffed accordion file folder. “Ah, I almost forgot I had these! I kept them from when I was recovering from surgery before I-LAND.”

Niki’s eyes grow wide. He’s nervous and he can guess why. He knows now is not the time.

“Woah, what the hell do you have in there? Medical records?” Sunghoon’s thought is logical.

“Very you to guess something that basic hyung, but no!” Sunoo unbuckles the latch and folio springs open, “Sheet masks, skin care and miscellaneous beauty supplies in sheet form!”

“What the fuck! Jesus Christ!” Heeseung tries to hold the sound of his astonishment in his hands, “How? For what? So many?! Why?!” They sound like questions but they aren’t

Jake is a vibrating mess of giggles in Niki’s lap. “Hyung! He’s Kim fucking Sunoo! There never is a why!”

“Pshh,” Sunoo sputters, unbothered. “I _am_ Kim fucking Sunoo, THAT’s why.” He cocks a shoulder upward and leans on a hip for full effect, “ANYWAY. The thing for Jake. I’ve got these huge medical-grade silicone scar sheets I’ve saved up from back then.” He takes out a sealed pouch the size of A4 paper.

Niki mouth goes slack. He thinks he knows why. He knows now is not the time. Jake catches the change of expression on his face from below. Unnoticed by the rest, he moves to squeeze their maknae’s still hand on his hair.

“I couldn’t bear to let these go, knowing how expensive they go for in retail.” Sunoo hands the sheet over to Niki, “Peel this out and try to stick it as flat as you can on Jake hyung’s skin, would you please Niki?”

“Yeah,” Niki swallows, “I can do that,” he shakes off a thought. Looking down at the hyung on his lap he continues, “I can try to give you a head massage too Jake hyung. Like, your temples and the base of your neck. I know how to do that and I don’t have to look it up,” he offers sincerely, “I had a crick in my neck and had to learn how to hit a few pressure points. Pretty sure its supposed to help with blood circulation issues.”

“Very good, Niki!” Heeseung brings himself to applaud, “A massage to stimulate blood circulation to the brain is an excellent suggestion.”

“What does circulation have to do preemptive hangover remedies again?” Jake wonders out loud.

“It makes sense, Jakey. You’re dehydrated, dry on the inside. Thirsty on a cellular level. Blood is your body’s water... and… I don’t know. I’m not a doctor, but we’re gonna flush the alcohol off you and Niki’s gonna massage your brain so blood can flow... coz I guess that’s why headaches?” Sunghoon rambles and then immediately back tracks, “Actually, I might be second guessing that thought now that I’m saying it out loud...”

“How about we just let Niki do his thing? It sounds tangentially relevant.” Heeseung continues.

“Sounds complacent,” Sunghoon sort of seconds the motion, “but I vote yes anyway.”

“How’s about it Jakey? You good with that?” Heeseung insists.

A brief look of fright washes over Jake’s face, but he relents. The hand he’s holding gives him a soft squeeze.

“Niki-ya, I trust you.” Jake eeks out a smile, “Take care of me.”

From the couch Heeseung glows with pride, smug at the sight with his hands folded on his chest, whiteboard marker pen perched behind his ear. “Well. That solves the Jake thing. I’ll move us on to the next issue,” he shifts in his seat to point at the board held up by the boy to his left. “What do we do about this?”

The line item reads with a flourish: _‘Sunghoonie’s face’_ with a sad face and a tiny tear… and little sparkles and hearts… and a very well done doodle of a penguin with long eyelashes and angel wings in what might be figure skates.

Sunoo unable to hold back his tongue, remarks. “I didn’t want to call it out earlier, but you’ve got literally TWO things written on that whiteboard. _‘Fix Jake’_ —a very real and complex challenge— barely holds 5% of the real estate, while the rest is a _**shameless**_ explosion hormonal of affection. _When_ did you find the time to do fucking _calligraphy_ and _WHY_ HYUNG, WHY.”

Niki reaches over and pulls Sunoo to his chest, Jake having rolled out of his lap and into a pillow again. “Shhh, its okay… It’s okay…” he whispers into his hair.

“Its perfectly done too! So IRRITATINGLY perfect. Hyung!? How dare you?! What the hell? I thought we were _PRESSED FOR TIME_.” Sunoo continues to have a mental breakdown in Niki’s arms, the irony of this moment also being a time waster completely evades him. “Nikiiii I can’t!”

Sunghoon wears an exaggerated pout that slowly grows into a tiny smile, flipping the board over to see what Sunoo’s been losing his mind over. With very little movement, his eyes shift over to Heeseung, sat with his hands on his lap, moving side to side. He’s fighting a smile and looking somewhere up and to the left.

_This guy._

“Well. I mean this shouldn’t be too hard.” Sunghoon puts the board down and slips to sit on the floor examining the contents of Sunoo’s folio. “I didn’t know you had this much beauty skin… crap ( _dramatic gasp_ ) in your arsenal. Surely you’ve got some face calming glamour… shit ( _“How dare you?”_ ) in here I can put on while we cook. As long as its something I can have on and still see out of, this should work.”

Sunoo is appalled, he’s not sure why he’s forgotten how Spa Day began in the first place but Sunghoon is right. This shouldn’t be too hard. After taking a few seconds to forgive himself for not coming up with the idea first he gracefully concedes, “Yeah! Great idea Sunghoonie hyung, I have a barrage of treatments we can try for your eyes and the rest of your face. If that doesn’t work we can keep trying until the end of the night. It’ll probably just pass as something normal to Jay and Jungwon if they walk into everyone else with a sheet on their face.” The last part is an unnecessary detail, but Sunoo hasn’t called it quits on Spa Day yet.

This doesn't fly under Niki's radar though. He saw what Sunoo did there. He’s proud. Goal number Three is in progress.

“Well then. Sounds like we’ve got a plan, boys!” Heeseung triumphantly declares. “Before we hop to it, do you have any questions?” the words following _‘it’_ he speaks in English.

Everyone briefly exchanges looks.

Niki’s hand flies up to make a request, “Hyungs, while we’re off doing our own things later, can we all commit to take time to talk about JayWon? Sunoo really wants this and I don’t want this day to end until he gets what he needs out of Spa Day.”

"Oh my god." Touched, Sunoo clutches his chest looking like he’s about to cry for the enth time that day. "Goal number Four," he whispers with a misty eye.

Sunghoon seated on the floor with his arms around his knees hides his mouth, marveling at the sincerity behind their maknae’s plea to steer conversation to specific gossip. Heeseung tilts his head trying to hide the smirk seeping into his smile. He thinks, _My god, Sunoo’s going to decimate that boy when he gets a chance._ Again, he is in awe of this boy’s innocent deviance.

“I mean, sure.” Jake says flatly while remaining physically flat. “We’ll just gloss over how you’ve completely dropped the “hyung” when you talk to and about Sunoo since you ate face earlier.”

A look of determination washes over Heeseung’s face. He decides to ride this energy. The balls on that kid WILL be the balls on himself.

“Guess while we’re clearing dishes before we dig into the main course I’m just gonna go ahead and put this out there,” In a swift motion, Heeseung dives from the couch to his knees throwing his right arm around Sunghoon’s broad shoulders, clotheslining the unsuspecting boy back. With his free arm he swoops in, catching his beloved by the small of his back and before he can make contact with the floor, pulls him into a spontaneous, fevered French kiss.

Jake, suddenly alert, jumps out of his skin with his mouth wide open, accidentally (and audibly) slapping his own face with both hands completely enraptured by the scene unfolding before him.

_Holy fucking shit! He's a seated Gene Kelly! THIS IS AMAZING!_ Jake screams internally. _MY GOD!!!_ _THIS HYUNG!_

Sunoo mirrors this exact pose, as does Niki. On the floor, _Edvard Munch’s Scream_ in tryptic. ❣️✨😱😱😱✨❣️

Heeseung pulls back with a gasp, a wild-eyed Sunghoon leaned back in his arms clutching his hyung's shoulders for dear life. He points a stiff finger to the younger boy’s face, making eye contact with the rest of the room. “This.” He says as if this moment was normal, “This is mine.”

“HEESEUNGIE?!” Sunghoon’s mouth flies open like a victim from the _Ring_.

“He’s not my boyfriend yet, but he’s mine. And he **will** be. YA HEAR ME?” His finger sweeps from sweet face to Jake’s face like an _Ace Attorney_. “SHIM JAKE?!” the name called out is a screech.

Jake is beaming, terrified at the sight, impressed by the balls of it all, also scared that he might rip his face open with his smile. “Loud and clear, boss!” He grabs Heeseung’s pointed hand and pulls him into a bro hug. Sunghoon slides off in a swoon.

“Sunghoonie hyung!? _”_ Sunoo rushes over to his side, now assuming the role of medic.

Heeseung throws his arms around Jake, a grateful bromantic hug. He never thought he’d be so thankful to have been negged into shape when it came to Sunghoon. Suddenly the day’s events come together in his mind and overwhelmed with appreciation he breathes a heartfelt truth, “Goddamnit Jakey, I love you.”

Jake stifles a laugh, squeezing back with equal force, “I know.”

“I don’t mind that you’ve got good taste like I do,” Heeseung snickers then whispers a warning, “but I will break you in half if you try to touch him the way I do.”

“JEESUST CRIES!?” Jake is frozen in terror, “I HAVE morals, but if you gotta hear an affirmative, yes!”

“I could have drowned you in that tub. Never forget that.”

”Okay! I got it! Please release me!”

Mathyung lets his hostage free and smacks Jake twice on the back, “However, I don’t mind if you keep kissing me though. Your body _is_ amazing.”

_“KEEP???_ ” Sunghoon shrieks out of his daze.

“Yeah, me too.” Niki nods with a wholesome look, balled up hands on his cheeks, “I’m gonna me too on Heeseung’s statements but with Sunoo minus concerns about being into my dude. Ditto on the kissing me part and yes, Jake hyung’s body IS amazing.” Niki says this like it’s just a thing to say.

"I mean, I've seen it. All of it."

"Me too, hyung. Woof."

“What the _FUCK_ Niki!?” Sunoo is aghast.

“You know, I feel like today I finally understand how people get whipped for Jake.” Heeseung waxes poetic, “It’s like appreciating the color teal for the first time. You see it. You think it’s blue, you think it’s green and then one day you hear someone call it teal and THEN you get it, and you go, 'Ah! So, _that’s_ TEAL'.”

“Why is this happening.”

“Welcome to the club, hyung!” Maknae high-fives mathyung, “Glad to have you aboard.”

“If you run, take me with you.”

"I mean, he's not my type but I get it."

"Oh same. I mean, you and me hyung? We have a type. We like a similar vibe."

"Huh. We do, don't we? We vibe on that. Great minds. I mean, but Jake? Gun to my head, probably."

"Oh yeah. Knife to my throat, for sure."

Niki and Heeseung discuss this like two dudes who've seen the hidden sailboat in a Magic Eye poster.

“STOP! Can we RUN from this tangent, _please!?_ ” Jake begs, smothering his face with a pillow, dying of embarrassment for the fourth time that day in a fetal position on the floor. “I'm sorry I teased you earlier hyung, but back the fuck away from the weird, oh MY GOD!"

Sunghoon and Sunoo hold each other like innocent orphaned children, wide-eyed and stunned, unable to process… no— _intentionally_ choosing not to process the last few minutes.

“You know what, Teal?” Heeseung says looking right at Jake. “I will respect your boundaries and I will move things swiftly along,” he throws Jake a teasing wink and an air kiss (Niki parrots the gesture,) “This meeting is now adjourned. Can we get hands in the center?”

“Fuck yeah!” Niki throws hand forward. 

“Hell the fuck yeah!” Sunoo places his hand above Niki’s.

Still on the floor, Jake raises his hand and smacks it upwards beneath the other hands with an eloquent, “YEAAAHH!!!!”

Sunghoon follows suit with a snickering, “ENs get it!”

“Spa Boys, plus +1s. Today, we get away with our crimes.” Heeseung smacks his hand above the stack, “Kai, Bai, Bo!”

With a rowdy cheer, everyone comes up Paper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire fic has just been an excuse to try to write in scenarios where the few things ENHYPEN members have said in English an alternate context.
> 
> For real, in the next chapter we'll finally get to talk about JayWon. IT HAPPENS. No bullshit, it happens.
> 
> Just a quick announcement about the publishing schedule: Without giving too much away, I will be sticking to the two chapter a day releases HOWEVER, it won't be 9 & 10\. It will be 9 and I'll let Gestalt theory fill in the rest of that thought. 
> 
> I hope you guys stick around and continue to ENjoy. See you tomorrow?


	9. Risotto & Milk Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunoo prepares a hearty risotto, Sunghoon brews a delicate tea, Niki pets Jake, Heeseung explains it all and everybody wears sheet masks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **IMPORTANT NOTICE:** Before we get started, I need everyone to Google “Animal Character Sheet Masks.” The brands _The Creme, Epielle and the Masque Bar_ have some fantastic selections. Add those brands to the search terms for full effect. It is imperative that you hold this image in mind before reading this chapter. Think of the masks and commit it to memory. I promise, this’ll taste sweeter if you try it.

“Why did you do it?” Sunghoon with a cartoon penguin mask looms over Jake, laid on the floor as Niki administers an oversized scar sheet on his back. “Why did you kiss Heeseung in front of me earlier?”

A scandalized gasp from the kitchen.

“Tee hee, _Kisseung_ ,” Niki in a cartoon tiger mask snickers to himself, earning him a swift back hand slap from Jake. Tragically, Sunoo didn’t have a a mask in puma, cheetah or panther.

“For science?” Jake says with his face in a pillow.

Sunghoon responds with a swift tap of kick to his thigh.

Jake gives a better answer. “To stop him from breathing for a sec. Disrupt the rhythm of his intake before he started hyperventilating.”

“That worked. Can confirm.” Heeseung adds from the kitchen. He is a sous chef with a cartoon deer mask for Sunoo helping prepare ingredients for risotto.

“You!” In a cartoon fox sheet mask Sunoo points a knife at mathyung. He was slicing pre-cooked bacon into fine slivers. It’s in jest, but lo key he’s livid, “Eyes back on your work. You are NOT a part of that conversation.”

Sunghoon lets out a sound that pairs nicely with a rolling of the eyes, “Tell me why I shouldn’t crush your spine with my heel right now, Shim.”

“HOONIE!” Heeseung has never seen this side of him and he is petrified. “EASY NOW.”

“Hyung, didn’t I say—?!“ Sunoo feels incredibly protective of Sunghoon’s heart in this moment. He whips around to rail at Heeseung when he gets interrupted by a guttural

“SHUT THE FUCK UP DARLING AND _LET ME TALK?!!”_

“Oh wow.” Head Chef Kim turns back to his work, impressed by the sudden show of dominance, “Damn. Pet name plus reprimand. Respect.”

“What? Just a kiss on the cheek!” Jake lifts up, silicone sticker fully in place, “Whats the big deal?”

“Yeah, that’s no big Sunghoon hyung. Even Jungwon’s given me one on camera. And a few times off camera.” Niki says, nonplussed.

“Oh no. Oh no no nono. Silly, silly Niki. You silly, stupid boy. You did not just say that while I’m holding a knife.” Sunoo says this calmly very very slowly rotating his neck at an unnatural angle.

Behind him with his eyes bulging out of his skull focused on opening cans on the kitchen island, Heeseung audibly gulps.

“IT IS A BIG DEAL.” Sunghoon speaks with his lungs. “Sunoo could have _killed_ you if we weren’t live!”

Niki shoots a tiger faced look at Sunoo, a wide-eyed fox holding a knife parallel to his face. “Oh boy.”

“Sunghoon-ah! Hoon-ah. My best friend, my soul mate, my buddy! It’s all good, right? It worked! He’s cured! He claimed you, fucking finally! You know I negged him into fucked up, possessive jealousy. Everyone wins, right?” Jake jumps up from the floor holding Sunghoon by the shoulders to tear him away from staring a hole straight into Niki.

“—and Jungwon’s an angel!” Niki, frantic, starts to make his way to the kitchen to Sunoo when he notices him give a glare that’s 85% the white of his eyes. He freezes in his tracks at the sight but continues to talk, hoping to ease the tension, “… and… I would never! He’s not my type! He’s just cute!”

Heeseung, in suspended animation from mid-can opening meets Niki’s eyes, foreboding.

“Niki.” Sunoo says flatly. “I can throw.”

Heeseung mouths the word _RUN_.

“Does it matter? Does it really matter who your type is or isn’t?” Sunghoon huffs, so many shades offended. “Can we all just remember that we’re terribly attractive human beings that literally MILLIONS have voted for to see more of? AND we’re boys?!”

“Yeah. I think we’re far enough into this story to establish that we’re all gay.” Niki says unhelpfully.

“—for each other,” Sunoo corrects.

Of course _someone_ has to add, “No Hoonie, no honey for Hee.”

“and I had a girlfriend. Maybe I’m bi?”

“NOT THE FUCKING POINT!” Sunghoon yells completely out of his neck. He continues his thought still in a frenzied energy, but dials it down to an eight. Point five. Which for Sunghoon is a nine. “We are all insanely attractive people! And we are boys at height of puberty who basically work out everyday! Boys are are _already_ insane! We are young, we are constantly high on mid to late teenage hormones and we are all PAINFULLY HOT. And we are around each other EVERY GODDAMN DAY!”

“These are facts.” Heeseung says unhelpfully.

“Hyung?! Just—! Just shut the fuck up and let _my_ hyung speak!!” Sunoo administers 10 slaps per second at the eldest boy’s arm.

In the room, Jake the only maskless individual with an exposed human face bites his lips contemplatively. He takes in the words he’s heard and he knows, not just because he’s Sunghoon’s soulmate but because he _knows_. He just knows what he means by this frustrated screaming.

“You’re right, Sunghoon-ah. I’m sorry.” Jake’s arms slip from his best friend’s shoulders. For a second he thinks to hold his hands but he stops himself short. His eyes fall to the floor. He confesses. “I knew what I was doing. I knew the reaction I wanted to get. I got it. I went too far not with what I did or what I felt, but in that I knew it would bother you and I did it anyway.”

Sunghoon finally softens a bit, his shoulders sink just a few degrees lower than they were. “I know. I know you did. I know you know because I told you who he was to me before I was sure myself. I know you’d know even if I never confided in you. I know this because you know me. And you watch me. And you CARE.” he speaks like a boy who can’t decide if he should slap or hug the person in front of him. “You’re my fucking soulmate, Shim. That’s what pisses me off. I love you, and I accept every part of you, and I’m comfortable with you even if I know you’d bang me if I asked.”

Heeseung’s face warps into a mix of outrage, hurt and mild admiration, an altogether uneasy look. Sunoo puts down the knife and gives him a sympathetic set of back rubs while wearing the same face in different ratios but substitute the hurt with amazement at Sunghoon’s brazen show of honestly.

Niki on the periphery blue screens.

Jake looks like he’s about to cry again. “Hoon-ah, I’m sorry.” Jake is a puppy who knows he’s been bad.

“Damnit Jakey. Don’t fucking cry.” The Ice Prince melts, pulling Jake into a hug. “Just quit touching my stuff right after I get cut. You know how I get.”

Sunoo and Heeseung are arm in arm in the kitchen, just taking in the kdrama playing out in front of them.

“Pfft. I knew my favorite hyung was just as petty me.”

“Yeah. I pieced that together,” is Heeseung’s dumbfounded response. He turns over to look at Niki, “Take some notes, kid. This is as real as it gets.”

A bewildered tiger silently nods his head.

Sunghoon hears a whimper in his ear and a steady saline drip on his shirt. “Come on, Jake. I’m not that mad.” he continues to explain, “Your timing was just… I mean he literally just tried to break up with me, his totally not boyfriend yet. Before it sank in that his dummy brain thought he had to kill _us_ to be nice to you, you pull a stunt with that towel chic with wet hair and smelling like my shampoo. I get the why. I appreciate where you were going and maybe you did everything just right. I know you love him too and I know you love me more, but damnit Jakey, your body IS amazing and he knows it,” to no one’s surprise, Jake relents a chuckle, “but I’m confident that compared to yours, mine is a masterpiece—“

Heeseung’s eyes grow wide like a child on Christmas morning. Worried, Sunoo wonders if his favorite hyung might actually be a narcissist, but then remembers its Park Sunghoon. He’s allowed. 

_“—_ in his eyes _(SN: Oh thank god he’s normal.)_ which is why even if he stans you, I’m okay with it. I side-eye the shit out of it but I get it. You know I’m not a jealous person, right?”

Niki’s somehow made his way to where Heeseung and Sunoo stand. He weaves his way between them, linking his arms around both oldest hyung and favorite person. No one says a word. They wish they had popcorn.

“Like, I don’t care if you touch him and I don’t care if you touch me—“

Heeseung’s eyebrows fly up above his hairline.

“—there’s just a time and place. But I know sometimes there’s never a right time or a right place. Even if you mean well, even if you know my heart, even if I trust him implicitly and even if I have that same trust in you… I’m just a person too. I feel things. I don’t want to hurt you and I know you feel the same way, but we will. That’s what close friends do. Maybe I want to be free to be as I am in front my best friend who’s whipped for me, my charming pure-as-milk puppy of a soulmate who loves everyone and loves Love.”

Niki clutches the fabric of his hanbok, right above his heart. He’s not sure how he feels someone’s else’s heart break in his chest but it’s happening. He accepts this feeling. He lets it happen.

Sunghoon senses Jake’s impulse to emotionally withdraw. He feels that. He hates that. “Please, don’t stop being that person. Please keep taking chances when you show affection. Please don’t take that away from me. You can’t help being charming and good looking the same way I can’t help being stunning without trying.”

Sunoo crosses his arms and shakes his head, overwhelmed with a smile. “This hyung.”

“I like that you think I’m pretty, I want to keep being your pretty friend. Stay whipped for me until you want to stop. Make mistakes, make it with me in your life, stay shameless in those mistakes. Just… let me live. Let me be flawed. Let me be fragile. Let me be mad at you when you hurt me and take it! Let me be low energy, high tension Park Sunghoon and let me keep knowing my wholesome thirsty boy Shim Jake. I want to keep walking along side that person for as long as he lets me. Come on man. I love you Jakey.”

Jake’s arms hang limp on his side in Sunghoon’s firm embrace. He’s a little afraid to move. It’s not a fear, just an uncertainty. The long, drawn-out line is hazy as its always been.

“Hug me back,” Sunghoon’s words come out like a plea. His tone is much softer than it was. “Please?”

Quietly weeping, Jake lifts his arms up underneath his friend. He’s a bit shaken and a lot shy. Hands make contact with his back, just barely.

Behind a light blue penguin’s face Sunghoon closes his eyes and grunts, “Ugh. I’m not gonna let you go until you hug me like my Jakey does.”

Jake lets out a weak groan, he’s trying so hard not to break face.

“I don’t know who you are trying to hug me like a wuss. Give me back my Jakey,” taller penguin continues to taunt, “You’re gonna have to blow your nose on my shirt or suffocate in mucus if you don’t try to hug me like my Jakey.”

Engrossed at the sight, the fox, the tiger and the deer have started grazing on strips of bacon. Tiger opens a bag of slivered almonds and passes it around.

Penguin forcibly shifts himself and the body in his clutches to make eye contact with the kitchen staff, “Heeseungie, who is this weak limbed bitch in my arms right now? It looks like a Shim Jake, but I know my Jakey has guns.”

“I dunno,” Heeseung with a grin takes a handful of nuts and pours it in his face. With his mouth full he continues, “Looks like a weak little bitch to me.”

Offended for his hyung, Niki shoots Heeseung a look that is one part appalled and two parts impressed by his savagery.

“Goddamnit.” That forces an open laugh out of Jake and he breaks. Out of sad and into happy. “Fuck you Park Sunghoon, I love you more!” He wipes a long sniffle into Sunghoon’s shirt, brings his arms together and hugs back like he means it.

“That’s MY fucking Jakey!” Sunghoon’s all smiles, hugging back tighter.

But Jake’s not about to be called a weak limbed bitch again. He squeezes tighter, weak from the emotional drain but strong in his will to resume his life as ENHYPEN’s Jake— just a normal talented dude who sings, dances and looks pretty for a living who casually asks his equally attractive peers if they’ve got body parts as amazing as his. Because that’s a thing normal people do. He’s no longer the little Aussie boy lovestruck and scared to run for his dream, but a star— one of seven bright, shining lights twinkling at dawn on an azure sky.

For a few exchanges it’s a battle to see who’s got more arm strength to squeeze the life out of the other.

Jake pulls out of the hug, holds Sunghoon’s penguined gaze for a second to send the warmth of a smile, then grabs his sleeve and shamelessly blows his nose on it.

Niki completely forgets he’s got a sheet face mask on and covers his gigantic open-mouthed smile with both of his hands. Heeseung folds in half, laughing into his knees. He’s crying. He can’t breathe. He tries to steady himself, grabbing at whatever he can find and it happens to be Niki, who just loses his ability to have functioning knees.

Sunoo’s just aghast at how disgusting that entire scene played out. The friendship and the mucus. With a smile he’s rank in his top 3 of the day, Sunoo is repulsed by it all.

“That was fucking GROSS!” He throws his head back, unable to keep it in. “Aaaah! You IDIOTS!” Still in a delighted state of shock, he glances at his phone and announces, “We just wasted HALF AN HOUR. Our time management skills are a farce!” he drops his phone back on the counter.

“Oh sweet cheeses!” Heeseung climbs back up in a breathless laugh, clutching the kitchen island counter as if scaling a cliff, “I haven’t even started grating the cheese! Oh my dear deer face.”

Niki crawls to the refrigerator, uses the door handle to lift himself (it almost topples over), opens the door heaving, he grabs an armful of bottled liquids and sets them on the counter. Three family sized bottles of alkaline water and 1.5 bottles of Gatorade stay in his arms. He hugs them like children. He has no words. No words in Korean, just a word cloud of Japanese slang and a handful of emojis to describe his feelings. He cracks a bottle of water, takes a swig, passes it to Sunoo. Heeseung takes the half a Gatorade and starts chugging. Sunoo, finished drinking for now screws back on the cap and effortlessly throws this literal liter of bottled water with one hand a sizable distance away to Sunghoon who catches it like its just a thing everyone does well.

_Damn. He can throw._ Niki makes a mental note.

Jake’s still wiping off his face, now with Sunghoon’s other sleeve although you wouldn’t know it by the look on the face wearing the shirt.

“Alright, seriously dudes. We gotta get on with it.” Sunoo pats his cheeks twice, also forgetting he’s got on a sheet mask. “I think I’m back to a hundred. Hyung, if you don’t mind I’m gonna do what I do best and boss you all around.” He says looking at Heeseung who’s taken the initiative to begin grating Jay’s fancy cheese.

Heeseung breaks off a sliver of the semi-hard wedge, feeds it to Sunoo and with all the smoothness of a _real_ hyung pushes the cheese into his dongsaeng’s mouth with his thumb, seamlessly transitioning into a thumbs up. Sunoo gives a thumbs up back, impressed by technique and the cheese being bomb. On his periphery he sees Niki begin to pout and copy/pastes the action as to not show favorites. Niki is pleased. He likes the cheese.

Chef Kim in his fox mask rolls up his sleeves even higher and gets to work. “Okay, I got bacon sliced up. Hyung’s working cheese. Bone broth is lid-free. Niki, grab the instant rice from the pantry. Be a dear and take out some butter, my salad greens and a carton of milk from the fridge while you’re at it.”

“On it!” Niki is happy to follow the lead. _He’s brilliant when he’s bossy._

“Jake, get your weird well-toned butt in here,” he waves Jake down like a traffic officer, “Predictably, I’ve set aside a cartoon dog face mask for you on the counter. It’s a sheepdog. Deal with it. Put it on, grab a water and get cozy. Sunghoonie hyung?” Sunoo calls out and instantly grimaces.

Jake walks over to the kitchen without protest with Sunghoon trailing behind, despite being behind a penguin mask now looks visibly grossed out by the state of his shirt.

“Oh. Hyung. Get that thing off you, maybe take a wet rag to your shoulders… and your chest,” Sunoo’s grimace keeps getting grimmer the closer Sunghoon gets, “Change your shirt and get back in here ASAP. Get the pretty floral tin from the make-up room on your way here and we’ll get started on the tea.”

In the stark lighting of the kitchen, the shirt looks worse than it did from a far. Heeseung looks up from cheese and reflexively gags. He’s conflicted. He wants to rush over and give his boy a hug but oh my god that is gross. Sunghoon’s beautiful but his shirt is so _so_ gross.

Jake kinda feels bad, now clearly seeing the color of his snot on Sunghoon’s white shirt. _Oh god, I’m a terrible friend._

Behind the mask Sunghoon’s eyes are small. His look says, _Yes Jake. You suck._ Instead of expressing any of that he just says, “Sounds good,” completely unbothered. He takes a beat to stare down all the eyes in the room (except for Niki who’s head is briefly behind the fridge door taking out ingredients), peels off the penguin sheet facade and the stark fluorescent light of the kitchen takes his entire shirt off like it’s the most appropriate thing to do.

Scandalized gasps are sung in perfect harmony and a carton of milk makes a dull thud as it hits the floor.

Niki, face still cold from peering into the fridge, is stunned by the sudden addition of lumens in the already bright kitchen. “Hyung. Are you… glowing?” Miraculously he’s held on to the stick of butter and the bag of greens bunched up on his left side but he hasn’t quite realized his right hand’s failed its only job.

Sunghoon balls up his shirt in his hand, his mouth hangs open with his tongue touching the back of his teeth. Everyone’s known it and seen it on set, but somehow still at this moment they’re completely caught by surprise. It’s not right. Four boys lose 5-7 IQ points each because quiet, delicate, beautiful Park Sunghoon shirtless is a stupefyingly flawless ivory sculpture. No one is worthy.

_This moment is a masterpiece deserving of its own temple._

He shoots Jake a steely glare, shakes his head in displeasure and throws his disgusting moist shirt right at his slack jawed face. Jake catches it. He doesn’t remember how, but he catches it.

Heeseung is a cartoon deer in the headlights.

“Nah.” He says, nonchalant. “I’m just pale.” He looks right at the boy clutching what used to be a wedge of cheese, now completely annihilated, misshapen by the force of a sudden seizured grip.

_I'll blow your mind_.

Sunghoon gives him an icy glower, eyes lower and raise in a clear once-over, cocks his head in a half-biting sneer and makes an announcement, “I’m gonna go change,” he runs his hand through his hair as he always does, his tongue darts out of his lips. That’s just a reflex. He does it all the time without thinking, “ _all_ of my clothes,” oh but this time was thinking. “I’m out. Peace.” and then leisurely strolls off leaving everyone feeling personally assaulted. Everyone, a victim, blessed by this gratuitous non sequitur.

Blinking rapidly, Sunoo makes a long mechanical noise straight out of a dentist’s office. Shaking, Niki makes his way to him, life force draining away with every breathless, open mouthed giggle. His thoughts have devolved into a series of loose emojis.

In a blink doe-eyed, deer faced Lee Heeseung, the eldest in the group, the most experienced professionally and allegedly the wisest of them all, drops fancy cheese (thank god for wide countertops) and mentally snaps.

“I’m just—” he’s forgotten how to blink. “but I gotta go.” In a flicker he goes from catatonic to manic and beats feet.

“HYUNG NO!” A bloodied shriek from the fox, suddenly spry, grabs him just in time by the hood but his grip releases at the smallest sound of a tear, mortified by the thought of damaging a one-of-a-kind garment _Made by Jay_.

Heeseung takes that nanosecond of couture compassion, shoves off the chef and bolts. “Yeet!”

“NIKI! HELP!! We cannot AFFORD anymore shenanigans today!!!”

Like an actual feline predator, Niki zips by with a short running tackle. Heeseung is on the ground, a screaming deer-faced child, “Let me LIVE! Damnit, SunKi! Please just LET ME LIVE!!” Sunoo slaps the sheet off his eldest hyung who descends into a “REEEE!!!”

Jake’s dumbfounded still by sight, by the one-upmanship, by the sheer audacity, by the every part of Sunghoon that is exactly why they’re the best of friends. “Goddamnit, Park. You win.” He picks up a water, cracks it open and to the space where Sunghoon stood relents, “Your body _is_ masterpiece.”

///////////////////////

A productive quiet has fallen over the kitchen. Most of the ingredients are prepared, nicely sliced and separated in beautiful little dishes as required by Head Chef Kim. Sunoo watches over a saucepan of mostly liquid and instant rice, stirring and being an absolute nerd about how the consistency develops. Sunghoon, now dressed in a completely different outfit, a tan oversized hoodie and some nondescript pajama bottoms in black, grates the zest off yuja as his water begins to boil. Heeseung, now calm (took a few slaps and almost a concussion) wipes down the island kitchen counter, cleaning up stray bits of grated cheese to prep for his next assigned step: chiffonade salad herbs. Seated on the floor is Jake with his eyes closed, a bottle of water next to him in a crossed legged seat with his back leaned up against Niki’s knees. Niki sits away from the dining room table, digging into Jake’s hair with his fingers. Jake is impressed by how good this head rub actually feels. I mean, it feels legit and totally not sketchy and possibly damaging unlike the last few attempts Niki made to massage his hyung.

Jake is starting to feel better and right now he’s the only one in a sheet face mask. This makes sense.

Satisfied with his culinary progress, Sunoo begins. “I swear we’re gonna start talking about JayWon, but while we’re cooking I wanna take a minute to straighten out our naming convention in accordance to our roles in the kitchen.”

“We’ve already started but I’m into it, go on.” Heeseung is game for whatever Sunoo has planned next.

“Ddeonu,” scrolling through a recipe on his phone with his pinkie Sunghoon asks, “we have human names. Isn’t that enough?”

For a second Sunoo wonders if Tom ever eased off Jerry to chill out. “I do this for the same reason why Bang P.D.-nim doesn’t call us _2 Parks, 2 Foreigners plus Yang, Kim and Lee_. Words mean things!”

“I kinda liked Dragon Deez.” Again with the Niki.

“I’d be back in Brisbane if it ever came to that.”

“Fuck, okay.” Sunghoon shakes off a the urge to push back. “Make it quick, you tyrant. Just know you’re the bottleneck to talking about JayWon.”

“I’m not sorry. Spa Day is _my_ brain child and I am not sorry.” Goals or nah, there’s always time for shenanigans as long as its his. “I’m Head Chef, when I give an order I’m gonna need an affirmative ‘Yes, Chef’ or Imma lose my shit.” This is literally just an excuse to completely establish dominance over the conversation.

“Damn. He’s like a Gordon Ramsay I’d share a bed with.” Niki sighs, smitten.

Jake sputters, “Your personal _Kitchen Nightmare_.”

“Sunghoonie hyung, you’re the Mixologist. Keep to that station unless I ask you to rise above it. Heeseungie hyung our Soux Chef—“

“—slash my gorgeous assistant.”

Sunoo closes his eyes and reaches deep for serenity, “One more drip of flirtatious bullshit from you and you are demoted to Barmaid. Understood?”

“Yes, Chef!” Sunghoon elbows Heeseung briefly as he moves to wash his hands.

“The three of us are dedicated Kitchen Staff. We stay here until this job is done. No fucking bathroom breaks. Remember that I’m Kim Sunoo and I have a knife.” Sunoo repeats this because it needs to be _heard_.

Niki just can’t help himself, “He's hot when he’s angry.”

“I see that. I get that, a hundred. I mean not my type but—” Jake is Waldorf to Niki’s Statler.

“I’m not worried. He’s Kim Sunoo and he has a knife. Also stop that. Technically, that’s OUR knife.”

“Yes. Yikes.” Puppy backs off that subject ASAP.

“Niki, pay attention to the rest of the class please!” Sunoo tries to come off as serious despite being physically compromised by that bit of commentary, “You’re my gopher. My butler. The dog handler. My all-rounder. Come when I call and do what I say. You’re the only one who gets to keep your name, ya dig?”

“Oh like your house boy. So same as everyday?” and again, Niki says something on the razor’s edge of wholesome.

A ladle drops into a saucepan, “Cheese and rice! I’m at work!?”

“Holy shit. I get it now.” Jake turns around to put his paws on Niki’s knees, “You’re kind of a masochist too, huh?”

_TOO._

“Wow, dad. I feel SEEN. Solid read. I _do_ prefer to play with things that bite back—“

“I have a KNIFE and I know how to throw!” Its an empty threat. As of this moment Sunoo has lost grip strength.

“You really are my son. Come here, you.” Jake reaches up for a tiered seated hug.

Niki reaches down, sincerely touched. “Dad!”

“JAKE YOU’RE THE DOG AND THATS IT.” Kim Sunoo is a professional. An actual boss. He gets shit done, but like every boss sometimes he wish he could fire everyone. With a flame thrower. Like right now. “Drink some water, pace around, stay out of the garbage and try not to drool on everything. I beg you, please just be a good boy so we don’t end up taking you to the V-E-T.”

In a very Jungwon and Jay pose Niki rests his head on the boy hyung in front of him, “Yeah. That or Jungwon takes you out back and does you an Old Yeller.”

“Why does every left turn we take have to be such a hard angle and at 120 miles per hour.” Sunoo regrets his penchant for his own shenanigans. He wonders how deep his hypocrisy reaches into his psyche.

Looking up from finely slicing greens into ribbons, Heeseung says wistfully, “That’s just how the spirit of Spa Day 2020 is guys. Tis the season.”

“Hear, hear.” Sunghoon doesn’t bother to look away from actually working hard. “Never forget!

“Wow.” Sunoo goes soft. He realizes his team mates love his baby too. “I love this moment right now. We have fragrant tea and fancy cheese in the air, the fresh zest of yuja, a refreshing hint of fresh cut herbs and my favorite boy’s with his dog. I could fucking cry.”

“While this feels like a precursor to an &Hi Christmas special, it’s not.” Despite the overwhelming urge to lean into sentimentality, Sunoo knows it’s time to cut the shit. “It’s fucking Spa Day 2020! A legendary day when I’m the leader and I force you all to work your balls off to chill the fuck out and hit the pause button on the madness we’ve signed up for.”

Sunoo pauses briefly to stir his risotto and add in more liquid and cheese. Sunghoon is focused on his tonic and Heeseung shifts his focus as Sous Chef to assist in the beverage department. They take their jobs seriously, but they’re all ears. Niki continues to massage Jake’s scalp, bracing himself to witness one of his favorite things: an impassioned speech from Kim Sunoo. Jake tries his best to keep his eyes open, also riveted by the surge of energy in the room.

Right now Kim Sunoo’s at 110%. Risotto at a low simmer, he waves his wooden ladle as a show of power.

“Today we’ve laughed. We’ve cried. We’ve taken aggressive steps to stay pretty. We drank an unnecessarily wide variety of beverages for one day. We got drunk, and for what? We washed our friend. Most importantly, we’ve torn off the bandaid on a lot of weird feelings only a group of super talented, super attractive boys who share an unhealthy amount of physical intimacy who also live together can have. We KNOW each other. We’ve heard each other gossip. We know who’s hot for whom!”

Sunghoon takes his pot of boiling water off the range and adds a few bags of tea. He sets a timer on his phone as suggested by the recipe, leaning his forearms on the kitchen counter to face Head Chef Kim. Heeseung leans an arm on his prince’s arched back, hand on his cheek. They are so ready for this ride.

“Before this day, we were close but now we are tight. As fuck, we are tight. We are a family. A family of boys who like each other in ways that need to be tempered because love is CRAZY ride, and we are blessed with the privilege of loving and being loved by sweetest sweetheart of a human boy for whom we all are shamelessly whipped for.”

“Oh!” Jake’s ears perk up, “Is that me?”

“Yes, Shim fucking Jaeyoon slash ENHYPEN’s Jake. That’s you!” A ladle points right at the boy on the floor. Suddenly its Sunoo’s turn to hop on the Jake train, “You are noble, and admirable and painfully human! You are insanely quick to learn! You are simultaneously sharp AND dull. Your flaws ARE your strengths. You are a wholesome horn dog. You are a mix of dualities that only make sense because you’re you.”

Niki moves from Jake’s temples to the nape of his neck, feeling a knot he most definitely knows how to unclench. _My god,_ he thinks, I _share a bed with that brilliance_.

“We will not discuss your body or your appearance. Large chunks of this day have been devoted to that masterclass. However I refuse to be like sheep. I will not add to this redundancy. Everyone is quick to get weird with you, believe it or not I understand. I get it! Don’t forget I see that too. I mean, how you are charming as hell? And speak velvet Australian?? The way you say ‘vast’— _HOW_ is that legal?!”

Jake has no words. He gives what he has, the sweetest, warmest smile.

“That aside, I will not gloss over what’s truly gorgeous about you: your character.” Sunoo on the other hand has a clown car of words he needs to get out. He stirs the pot some more, literally and figuratively adding liquid and cheese to the mix. “You! You human conversational distraction, you luxurious romantic tangent— You are a beam of light! You are the lighthouse on the shores of our sea, guiding our ships to safety! You were on the front lines of a war. You got blown the fuck up. You lost a limb. You need to heal, but while you are, you graciously share intelligence with the squad. Your knowledge and your wisdom is invaluable. Without you, we are a navy without a compass.”

“Holy shit! Love IS war!” Niki exclaims like a person who’s just seen the arrow in the FedEx logo for the first time. "Jake hyung is a casualty of war! And this war is at sea!" He speaks each line in a whisper scream each with increasingly higher pitch.

“Exactly, Niki! You get it! The metaphor. The sentiment. This entire vibe. You get it! That is why you are my Eva Braun.”

Heeseung and Sunghoon exchange uneasy stares, uncomfortable with the implication this adorable, frighteningly zealous Korean boy named Kim leaning so hard into maritime war metaphors is comparing his relationship to a blonde Japanese boy to history's absolute worst power couple. Lo key they live for it, it makes sense. These thoughts never leave this dorm or their mouths.

“It is in this spirit of benevolence and compassion spearheaded by Jake and his oversized heart that I implore you all we discuss JayWon. While I wish our brothers were here getting pretty, cooking and eavesdropping over all our gossip, its kind of clear _(SH: The word is translucent.)_ that those two have much further before they get to where we are. But I’m not worried. I mean I’m worried, but lo key, high key, mostly high key I have a sneaking suspicion that they’re both having a legendary adventure together because it is past 10:00 at night and they’re not home yet. There is no universe wherein they not having the time of their lives without us. Or they could be dead.”

That thought got grim, quick. However, that’s just the spirit of Spa Day.

“We have to discuss this, on this day we hit the pause button hard and catch up with the scenery flying by. Not because it is fun to gossip, and it is fun to gossip, but because it is imperative we look out for each other. Like Sunghoonie hyung astutely pointed out today before +1s came into the picture, ‘You can’t control what you don’t acknowledge.’ They’re getting ridiculous and they don’t seem know it. We have a very public dream we’ve all committed the prime of our youths to. If the wrong people pay attention, we’re fucked and they’re fucked. The long term vision of this conversation isn’t just about our own self-preservation. We fucking love those two. Yang Leader and his Human Cape. We will have the longest, densest conversation about it in depth until the millisecond they come in through the door. Even if we're riding the razor's edge of edge of time and risking our own mortality, we will do this because of how _fucking_ much we care.”

“My god, Chef. You are deep. You are so shallow and yet so unfathomably deep.” Heeseung remarks, taking the ladle from Sunoo.

“Sous Chef hyung, Mixologist hyung we haven’t even touched how tight you two are with Jay and Jungwon. We haven’t come close to exploring everyone’s bond with Mango and Watermelon! and GODDAMNIT there is so much to discuss.”

“I know. We know,” Gentle, ever-reliable mathyung hands his Ddeonu a bottle of water. “but take a drink. Hold on to that thought. You’re starting to sound parched. I promise you, we’ll shut the fuck up and let you talk.”

From the dining table bench Niki continues his task, giving Sunoo a nod. A promise to keep shut the fuck up and let a hyung talk. Jake is present, very present. Taking in everything Sunoo had and has to say, the scene that surrounds him, the vibe he sits in and the sensation of fingers to his neck and scalp promoting circulation.

Sunoo trusts everyone to stay on task and he trusts everyone to veer left when he does. He takes a break, takes the bottle and drinks like he needs it.

Heeseung slips into this task as Head Chef, the lead role in the kitchen, seamlessly. He does this to give his dongsaeng the freedomto breathe and focus on his single-minded mission. Sunoo doesn’t even blink to pass off a difficult job he feels protective of. Sunoo before speech wouldn’t have considered not doing this himself. Risotto is a beast, it goes left quick. Watch an episode of _Hell’s Kitchen_. Everyone fucks up the risotto and its always the risotto. Without a word exchanged explicitly about the act it happens. The gesture is emblematic of how everyone trusts Heeseung implicitly. This is what he does, what he always does, why he’s so important to the group. To take the ladle, stir rice to a specific viscosity, add more liquid, stir, add more cheese and repeat the steps until risotto. A task made complicated by the redundancy and devotion necessary to execute properly. He’ll do better than that though. He has to. He wants to. Even without the desire to excel, he will do this well. It will be so much better than well. It’ll be magic. It's just what he does. He will make a risotto that makes Gordon Ramsay coo. This is the most mundane manifestation of a Lee Heeseung thing to do.

Sunghoon hits his timer a second before it goes off. He returns to his work and finishes what he started. He is quiet, conscientious, deliberate, responsible and always, always exceedingly attentive. He thinks about the day. He thinks about what he’s lived, seen, felt, spoken and heard. He thinks about Jay and Jungwon. He thinks about how much of them is a part of himself and how much alike he shares with each boy. He thinks about what he knows. Spices and sweet have been infused to the tea. It smells nice. It smells perfect. He knows it’s perfect as it is but he'll take it to a level leagues above perfection. He turns back up the heat to a minimum. A very Park Sunghoon thing to do. Someone less patient would go higher to get it to peak serving temperature and the risk of going too fast, too soon. Sunghoon wants this delicate honeyed milk tea to be perfect. He knows that's why he has _this_ job. So he watches, and he waits. He is patient. He is him. Carefully he adds milk into the mix, stirring deliberately and consistently. He thinks. He acts. He makes sure stays perfect. When the time is right, this tea will bloom. This is the most mundane manifestation of a Park Sunghoon thing to do.

Taking his hands to touch the fingers in his hair, Jake gives a squeeze to thank his dongsaeng for his service. He picks himself off the ground, takes a seat on the bench and peels the mask off his face, once a cartoon dog now cartoonishly attractive boy in face. He pats the moisture down. Niki helps. Jake notices Sunoo temporarily turned away drinking deep, Heeseung focused on a French skillet and to his right Sunghoon's careful attention to tea.

Jake takes the moment for what it is and commits to who he is, taking Niki’s hand now patting down his forehead and with well-measured look kisses the space between his knuckles. With his eyes he says, _Thanks._ Jake will keep his promise to Sunghoon. He will never stop being this person, shameless and naked in his love so deep and so real for his team mates. Even at the risk of a thrown knife, Jake resolves to always be Jake.

Niki is thankful to be facing away from Sunoo. He is scared of what the look on his face might say because he doesn't know what his face is saying. However nothing escapes the sharp eyes of the desert Fox. Still drinking from a CLEAR water bottle sees this happen from a leer. He knows what that was. He doesn’t care. Like his counterpart Sunghoon, he’s not a jealous guy but he lingers a bit on a thought and pretends to drink more water to briefly contemplate revenge.

“Ahh!” former Head Chef Kim emerges from his water, relieved and ready to stick this landing. “Wow, thanks Chef hyung! I didn’t realize was that parched.”

Niki compiles his mental notes and transposes the logic. He has thoughts he’d like to discuss in depth, a series of educated guesses now confirmed. His heart is a book he's finally learned enough of the language to read. With his conclusions he finds himself falling harder for Sunoo. He’s falling far into his unfathomable depths. He's scared, but its fun and he likes it but knows that now is not the time to dwell. He does however find the time to stifle a laugh at a fragment of a joke he’s put together in his mind. _Thirsty boy._

Again, the Fox notices. He narrows his eyes but does not dare to make eye contact with the source of that chuckle. Instead, he takes a running jump and like an actual fox hops up on bench, hops to the dining room table and stands with his gaze beyond everybody in the room. With his hands on his hips, he addresses an imaginary crowd. Everybody in the room have their eyes raised to Spa Day's Great Dictator stood upon on a table, ready and willing to take in the message and obey. They are his willingly captive audience.

“Spa Boys plus +1s, today we’ve done a lot. We’ve talked about a lot. Everybody cried. All this to say, we’ve got less than two hours left in the day! Some might say this is all too much, too much drama and realness for one day, but I say to those peasants that they’re wrong. They don’t know us. We are the esteemed individuals who broke through the world’s most expensive egg-shaped elevator that literally only went one floor, this is _not_ enough. Like that egg, we are extra. Extra as fuck! We didn’t _choose_ this level of extra — We were _chosen_! We respond to that call with a hard lean to the left. Together, we walk down this long drawn-out line that cuts across the vast land—“

Jake closes his eyes. He says the words he’s committed to memory without a sound.

“— because the world, the LITERAL world, carved us on that line! On that line, where do our footprints step to? Gentlemen of the Spa Day BrainTrust, I ask you to join me in finding out what sky spreads out at the end of this line. We've done our best to define our parameters."

Sunoo's eyes are wild and twinkling. He speaks with his hands, enunciating clearly, gestures flowing to give each syllable the spotlight it deserves. Niki sees it with his eyes, Sunoo's aura projects the shape of a monocle and a beret. Its beautiful. He almost cries. Sunghoon holds Heeseung's hand as if watching a sunrise. 

"Can confirm, Sunki are soulmates. Two halves of an entire Machiavelli. Hee is hard for Hoon, Sung is soft for Seung and Jake is so thirsty he's desiccated but we are all nursing him to peak hydration. Now what is JayWon? _What the fuck **is** JayWon?_ We need this data point to clearly define a line. This ship is a ghost we all see, a ghost that doesn't know it's dead. Follow me on this last leg of metaphors as we take this stage to the sky. Do not ask me why."

Jake is living. "Everybody brace!"

"Two words: AIRSHIPS MOTHERFUCKERS!"

Jake belts a modulated scream. He has never felt more alive.

"We start with our parents," Sunoo points to Sunghoon and Heeseung with an entire open hand, "The head of this fleet. They are the good ship _Enterprise_ , magnificent and huge. Pioneers boldly going where no one should probably go but doing so with the utmost diplomacy. An absolute institution and a legacy. Niki!" Another stiff point at the person he refers to, "You and I are _Serenity_. A spritely, maverick of a ship, saying fuck you to rules and committing crimes for the benefit of the team! We are a multipurpose vessel and no one best fuck with us because we are SAVAGE. And Jake! You are the monolith that changes the game from that Kubrick movie about the year Heeseung hyung was born. You've changed the game. You've redefined space. We are fucked up irreparably because of you and we love it! And JayWon."

Everybody hears the period. Everyone is riveted.

"JayWon is _Laputa_ , the castle in the sky. A ship of legend. Blink and you’ll miss it. Once you see it, you’re not quite sure what you’re looking at. If you’ve heard about it, you’re bound to keep searching for traces of its existence. Not everyone who’s heard of it believes it’s even real. To Jay and Jungwon, passengers aboard this ship, it feels like an island with a topography of its own. We think about the them and we wonder, do they know they're aboard a ship? We fucking hunt for _Laputa_ today!!!" 

Hyung line minus Jay with their hive mind think, _This is the most amazing mental breakdown I've ever seen on a child. This boy has shipped so hard he's lost his mind._

"In this last leg of Spa Day we will share information!”

“I’ve got a more than a few facts in my pocket,” says former Sous Chef now Head Chef Lee Heeseung.

“We will share observations!”

“Oooh I can’t wait to dig into that video from this morning you let me see a clip of,” says Niki the House Boy.

“We will piece together what we think is going on!”

“Its a lot. I’m pretty sure I know what’s up,” says Shim Jake, the family pet.

“We will craft a plan to save them from themselves!”

“Borld’s West. I still remember that moment. The panic that set in when I had to dive across the screen,” says Mixologist Park Sunghoon.

“Aww. I remember.” Heeseung’s expression changes from satisfaction (He just tasted the risotto. It’s very good.) to ‘ _Aww’_ puts his arms around Sunghoon’s waist from behind, “Hoonie. Your hands were so cold when you got back to your seat.”

“I was right in front of the camera. I’m afraid ENGENEs saw the fear in my eyes.” Sunghoon finishes pouring the hot honeyed milk tea concoction from sauce pan to insulated kettle, whips around, lifts his arms to rest on his pink hoodied chest and laments, “Thank god you were there. They acted like it was normal. I felt gaslit.”

For the enth time that day, someone snaps and its Sunoo. He leaps from the table to the kitchen island, kneels, reaches far and successfully, miraculously yanks the hood of Heeseung’s _Made by Jay_ hoodie and just screams in his face. At his face. On his face.

“HYUNG!!! Put a lid on the _‘Hoonie’_ for the JayWon conversation! That shit makes him weak and I NEED THAT TEA. Figuratively! Also literally! Goddamnit, this is why I gave everyone job titles! AND YOU!!!” He throws Heeseung away and a stiff, shaking finger points right at Sunghoon, “I look up to you!? Feel the weight of that burden just a _little_ bit?! Do not betray my expectations! Feel some SHAME for an hour! WHY is this happening? I am kneeling on a kitchen counter and I am functionally this group’s ADULT.”

“That boy is spry.”

“So spry. Good job on his toes by the way. They’re pink and pretty.”

“Oh my boyyy! Niki, you are in for a surprise! You’ll never guess what they smell like—” a roll of paper towels sail across the room and hit Jake in the face.

“BAD DOG! I will put you DOWN, I SWEAR TO GOD!” Sunoo has no shits to lose, “Niki! Fetch me OUR KNIFE.”

“I love you so much Jake hyung and I will take that note. But tonight, you’re gonna die.”

“SHIT!” Jake’s about to bolt.

“I don’t want to be an orphan, but I love him.” Niki reaches for the butcher’s block, “I accept this fate.”

“You don’t actually have to give him a knife!?”

“Hey buddy? Sunoo-ya.” Heeseung switches modes once again, his voice a pleasant Mister Rogers. “Food’s ready. How about you chill the fuck out and get off the counter? Niki, take the dog to the kitchen and help set the table. And help your boyfriend down. That angle looks dangerous and he’s shaking.” He’s garnishing the risotto with fresh herbs, slivered almonds and some refried bacon they put aside for color. It looks nice served on the skillet.

Sunghoon leans into that energy. He kind of wishes he had an apron on. Kind of. Like maybe if this were just a fever dream or a bottle episode of &Hi. “Tea’s done. Fetch us some cups, please.” Or if he had something to wipe their memory with like a controlled concussion but en masse.

But that wouldn’t be right. Spa Day 2020. Never forget.

“Oh my god, thank you parents.” Jake hasn’t moved but he’s out of breath. “Father,” he whispers scurrying behind Heeseung, clutching at the hem of his hoodie, “forgive me.”

“Sunoo, hold onto my shoulders. Let’s get you grounded.”

Delirious and stunned from the flood of angry chemicals swimming in his brain, Sunoo silently obeys. He doesn’t regret losing his shit. He rarely regrets anything. But he’s hungry and he’s really curious about the tea. He grips Niki’s shoulders and everything is essentially okay. Niki takes him by the waist and helps him hop down.

For a second, held in Niki’s arms in a pose he’s seen in movies, he thinks of kissing Niki. Sunghoon would’ve gone for it probably if this was him and Heeseung. Sunoo thinks about it and then he doesn’t. He resolves to be better than his elders, not be a hypocrite and choose to follow the bits he admires from the person he looks up to.

Still in Niki’s arms, and he sees it in his eyes— the unspoken expectation of a romantic gesture— he says calmly and deliberately, “Niki. Promise me that if you had a knife to your throat and someone told you that the only way to save yourself was to do Jake—“

Jake screams into the fabric of Heeseung’s hoodie.

“— even if it was me holding the knife, promise me you’d let that knife cut your head clean through.” Sunoo does not break eye contact. He is saying this like it’s a normal thing people say to each other.

Niki’s soul escapes his body. He is frozen, still holding Sunoo in his arms with an unwavering look.

“Of course,” the air is tense as is his breath, “Of course I would.”

“Good.” Sunoo without any malice, without a clear display of whether or not the answer actually met his standards takes a step back and give Niki a look. A leer. A smug, languishing leer paired with a small puffy lipped pout and slides open a drawer to pick up utensils.

Sunghoon, Heeseung and Jake stand huddled together, extremely close, shoulder to shoulder with eyes wide and mouths shut but trembling, fighting for dear life to keep the sheer delight under wraps. They would be wheezing if they weren’t scared shitless / stanning Sunoo so hard that they dare not interrupt this energy. Everyone is living but everyone fears death.

“Holy shit Sunoo’s a BOSS.” Heeseung ducks his chin into his hoodie and is whisper screaming

Sunghoon hangs in mid pose, holding his hand like a hand model showing off applied nail polish on a home shopping network. “That kid likes me. I think he's my son,” he does not remember what he was doing to have frozen himself in this position before suspending in fright slash awe.

“Dude. Niki is LIVING for this moment,” again, Jake is cheese to a boy’s love sandwich.

“What the hell? Are we looking at the same petrified child?!”

“Sunghoonie, I think Jake’s right. Look at him. I think thats a smile? Wait, _is_ that a smile?”

"No, but maybe? Wait. I know that face." Sunghoon knows that face very well. Game recognizes game. "He's buffering."

“Good catch Hoon-ah." stepping back to acknowledge this second opinion reconsiders his diagnosis, "I think this time we're both right on the vibe check. We _know_ things.”

“Uuugh, great.” Heeseung shudders at a thought, breaking out of audience mode, “I think Sunoo must threw a hyphen in Sun-Ki."

"Its not a good hyphen either." Sunghoon's been studying Sunoo's unreadable expression of sudden calm. Enough observation's lead him to the conclusion that, "It's an an em dash." 

"No! Sun—Ki cannot em dash right now. We gotta be hyungs and break the weird so we can move on and talk about my son and Jongseong but _fuck me!_ I can barely sustain 10 minutes of mathyung mode off the clock as it is.”

"Spa Day's got you down to 2-3 minutes staggered." Jake nods, sympathetic.

Realizing this might be his wheelhouse, Sunghoon steps up. He’ll be the lead hyung this time. He breaks away from the peanut gallery and saunters to the kitchen. “Hey Ddeonu, before you set down cups wipe down the table. Spray it down with some disinfectant. That was a fun watch but that was your feet on sanitary space. I’m holding you personally responsible.”

“What the shit?!" of course Sunoo tries to protest, but he gives in, "Ugh. Okay, that is very fair.” Sunoo leans sideways to smack Niki’s arm, “Help me. Please?”

“Oh.” Niki breaks out of his vibe, “Yeah, I got you Sunoo.”

Sunoo breathes out a stifled sigh, bops his head on Sunghoon’s shoulder. His hyung responds by ruffling the shit out of his hair.

“Yo, are we gonna eat or what? A spoon please so I can feed me finally!”

“I want cups. Gimme cups! I’m done being a hyung today. Let me be young!”

“You heard the hyungs, boy! ENs Get it!”

Niki starts to laugh. ‘ENs Get it’ makes him laugh. Something clicks. He finally gets it. He thinks he’s just figured something really important out. He sees the sailboat on the Magic Eye poster, the arrow on the FedEx logo. The gears turn slow in Niki’s mind, but they’re turning. Jake was right. He has something to say, but he knows now is not the time.

Surfaces are clean, cups are out, spoons in hand. Everything comes together like magic. The risotto is fire, the tea is bomb, Jake is happy. Everyone eats straight from the pan and finally, FINALLY. Things are calm enough to talk about JayWon.

It is 10:45 at night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Statler and Waldorf are the old men in the balcony from the Muppet Show. 
> 
> The day Jay releases his clothing line will start my journey to bankruptcy. Even if its not my style, I have a feeling I'll be down for all of it because memes. 
> 
> I refuse to make a public statement on my metaphors. I blame everything on the spirit of Spa Day.
> 
> SO. Chapter 9, eh I hate to be a tease, but we will take a detour to a parallel timeline. That's right. We're jumping the shark and going back in time, to the beginning of the day with 0204's Day Off. I'm not really sure why but for some reason its not showing up on the ENHYPEN tag fic list? yeeeeesh idk how to fix that but eh yolo


	10. Borld's West

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We slow down and Spa Day Boys rebrand. Heeseung shares his anxieties over JayWon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We take a break from our usual chapter name structure to mark that from this point forward, we talk about JayWon in depth.
> 
> A few hours ago I had uploaded this chapter as one long slab of text. At the 11th hour I've taken the original upload down to cut these up into bitesized chunks so as a public service to humanity.

Sunghoon carefully examines the tin of tea he used earlier reading the fine print. He has to hold it up to his face to read the delicate font, something refined in thin italics from a serifed family. Beautiful typography sure, but the print’s so small it’s barely readable. As a decorative piece, this works, but as packaging it fails. To top it off it’s in English and Sunghoon does not know English like that. Try as he might, he’s starting to lose the ability to focus his eyes.

Heeseung with his chin tucked over Sunghoon’s shoulder plays with his free hand. With his thumb, the older boy brushes lazy trails from the base of his wrist to top of his hand to knuckles to forefingers to pointed nail, lingering on every feature. He goes over each finger a few times, he doesn’t know why and doesn’t care to dwell. He just doesn’t want to stop. Up against the urge to nod off he knows he’s on the losing side but he keeps fighting. He doesn’t want to this day to end. This day has been such a dream.

“Heh,” heavy-lidded, Jake looks down at the two. He wants to laugh can only to reach for a syllable, “that’s _so_ Borld’s West.”

Sunoo lifts his head barely, “Tch… _SO_ Borld’s West.” Satisfied at the observation, he leans back down with his head resting on Jake’s shoulder.

“The parent hyungs?” Niki doesn’t bother opening his eyes. On Sunoo’s lap he rolls from laying flat onto his side, “Borld’s West how?”

“Oh you know,” Sunoo doesn’t fight a yawn, “the hand thing.”

Upon hearing that comment Heeseung lets out a short airy laugh into Sunghoon’s hair, “Oh. That’s why this felt like déjà vu,” he leans his head further back into Jake’s hoodie to give a look in acknowledgment, “Good catch Ddeonu.”

Having just shared a magnificent yet heavy risotto served family-style paired with a delicate fragrant tea, the Spa Day BrainTrust is about to slip into a food coma.

Caught in the excitement of a scheme underway and a desperate motivation to save Jake from physical suffering, Sunoo glossed over a crucial detail. Cost and beauty application aside, this tea had other reasons to not appear in the kitchen pantry. It’s calming benefits went beyond topical usage. This beautifully decorated, luxurious tin of tea was a powerful, top shelf, nuclear option sleepy time tea. This tea is medical grade, on the razor’s edge of legal possession and NOT for public consumption.

With a frustrated huff Sunghoon lets the tin slip out of his hand realizing he just pulled a Jonestown on Spa Day. “Ddeonu, I’m _so_ sorry,” he lifts his head up from Jake’s lap to apologize, “I didn’t mean to kill my _grandDay_.”

“Oh my god.” Sunoo gasps with the lowest amount of energy, “Did you just call me _son?_ ”

Embarrassed by the call-out, he breaks eye contact in a drowsy smile.

“Aah… That’s okay. I still love you dad.” He reaches across Jake to give Sunghoon a few uncoordinated head pats. His fingers slip off to an ear and it hangs like a pencil before it drops to Heeseung’s head. “There’s just something so _perfect_ about it,” he drifts into a lazy laugh, “my beautiful low-energy hyung, Park Sunghoon, accidentally poisoning this subunit with an elegant sedative tea, killing my baby in the process.”

Sunghoon starts to feel awful about it again and his shy smile turns into a shy pout.

“Aw… Hoonie, don’t pout.” Heeseung curls his arm in on underneath the boy’s torso, and pats Jake’s thigh thrice, “Lay back down, get comfy with Hee.”

“Yeah Hoon-ah,” Jake has his arm around Sunoo, curled up on his shoulder still and he’s absently brushing strands on Niki’s head, “put your head back down on my lap go back to being a little spoon.”

“Okay,” a sleepy sigh, “but I don’t want to be the little spoon this time.”

Heeseung giggles, languid. “Oh, I don’t mind that at all.”

“Take care of my dad, step-dad.”

“SungSeung hyungs,” Niki’s voice is muffled into Sunoo’s hoodie, “don’t get too gross while we’re tranquilized in the Sleepy Boy Pile. I’m not ready for that.”

“Out of the mouths of babes…” Jake starts to quote scripture. He takes a minute to appreciate this moment and for that he gives thanks. “I don’t know why, but this feels right and this kind of worked? I feel like my soul is draining out of my body but I'm not so sick anymore.”

“I’m surprised you feel anything,” Sunghoon with his eyes closed buries his face into the back of Heeseung's hoodie, “but I hope you’re right. Either way, I think we’re all fucked now. Jay-ah and Wonie are gonna walk in and murder us all before we get to properly gossip about JayWon.”

Sunoo groans right into Jake’s shoulder. He thinks about hiding the knives but remembers Yang-Deo’s black belt in taekwondo. “Let’s just go for it. I can’t find it in my spirit to slither out to the bedroom right now, much less clean up the mess we made in the kitchen,” his eyes drift down to Niki who gives back a wry smile, “There are no more fucks to give, so yolo.”

“I second this motion,” SleepSeung says with his face in Jake’s hoodied torso, “and if no one minds, I’ll start with my freak out on Borld’s West.”

///////////////////////

It’s another busy work day at the BELIFT Labs. The boys are in the building, each with their own schedules. Some have vocal training, some are being brought up to speed with specific choreography, some have remedial language classes. Heeseung, having had the longest professional track record in the group has a few special projects befitting of his advanced proficiencies. Today he’s working on a cover, something the management has encouraged him to take, essentially hands-on training to learn the back-end of music recording and production.

These days an idol is so much more than a pretty face who sings and dances so it’s a must to keep adding onto his skill tree. As Jungwon’s said, _an idol has to be good at everything._

Speaking of Jungwon, today also happens on the heels of a very important public announcement. Yang Jungwon, hidden ace of super rookie group ENHYPEN, officially becomes the youngest team leader in k-pop history. Heeseung is so proud of his son.

Scrolling through social media while waiting for the latest version of his cover to bounce to disc, Heeseung gets a confusing text in all caps from one of their handlers:

7TH FLOOR — STANDBY

He’s not sure what to make of this message but he responds to the call without so much as a reply. He takes a beat to do it, you can’t just snap your laptop shut in the middle of a rendering process. Heeseung is a boss, not a peasant and that kind of bumbling move is peasant tier. He knows from experience that ProTools is a sassy beast that demands patience. Or else. One does not force quit ProTools, ProTools force quits on you. Heeseung’s not about to lose his hard work and risk losing hours of meticulous work to masterfile corruption. Fuck that.

So he has a few moments to take in what might be happening and then he gets it. VLIVE. Sunghoon, Jungwon and Jay just went live in at a lounge space booked on the 7th floor. In a panic, he switches apps and starts watching, they’re a few minutes in, talking about the announcement about to go look through photos from DAWN and… everything seems… fine? Maybe it has nothing to do with Hoonie in heather grey, Wonie in an Ames blue and Jongseong in a black ENHYPEN blouson. He keeps the broadcast on as he packs up his laptop. He’d be watching anyway if he wasn’t working on audio. 

Then he starts to sweat. He wonders if he’s about to get scolded for something he’s not aware of. The 7th floor is mostly multipurpose rooms and practice spaces. Processing complete, he packs his laptop away with a little less urgency. Maybe he dawdles a bit, he can blame rendering on not beating feet on his way to possibly get a talking to.

He walks down the hall to the elevator watching on his phone, mentally muti-tasking, wondering why he’s being called down, thinking through tweaks for his cover, and his eyes are mostly on Sunghoon who looks so nice in that turtleneck. He sees him timidly adjusting the collar slipping down his neck and he thinks to himself that Hoonie looks just so sweet.

Then he sees something only he might’ve picked up, being such a nerd for Hoonie. A slow growing fear in his eyes. Then he sees something else. Jungwon and Jay being… just a _little too_ Jungwon and Jay today. He cringes a bit, remembering how much effort it takes to holds himself back from being that way live with Sunghoonie.

The door to the elevator opens and he’s immediately met by a handler he recognizes, the one who sent the text. She is one of a legion of unnie and oppa who make sure they transition from task to task smoothly. This lady sticks out _to him_ because during the DAWN and DUSK shoots he overheard her comment on Sunghoon and his test shoots. While he’s heard others talk, hers belie a knowing he’s not comfortable putting out there. So, he always makes a point to be extra nice to her when she’s around and tries to stay away from Sunghoon. She _knows_ things. He doesn’t know how, but she _knows_ and her eyes see things he doesn’t want others to notice.

“Heeseung-ssi,” she starts before the lift doors completely open, “you’re going live as soon as we pass you through hair and makeup.”

Handler-nim says this with a calm, but he’s been around a lot of staff behind the scenes to recognize a nervous energy. In a blink he’s in the make-up chair, getting styled at a frantic pace. They do his hair and his face at the same time, something completely out of standard operating procedure.

“What’s going on? Where am I going live?”

“VLIVE. We need you in there to sit next to Sunghoon-ssi.”

“What? _Need?_ Why?”

She opens her mouth to speak and stops herself. He sees it in her eyes that she gives up on an explanation and hands Heeseung the printed photograph he decorated in the last broadcast and says a cryptic, “Read the room and improvise,” with an unsettled smile.

///////////////////////

“Next thing I knew, I was shoved in with Hoonie, Wonie and Jongseong. They never said anything about it after or since.” Heeseung has his eyes closed, completely limp on Sunghoon’s chest, taking into his hoodie, “That was the scariest moment for me, just knowing our secrets might not be so secret at all.”

“Yikes.” Jake is all teeth, “I’m a little scared to know some of those handler-nims _know_ things.”

Sunoo slurs a snicker, he’s slumped over Niki still on his lap, “Lo key, you know they live for this. Everybody does. ENGENE does, they live.”

“Oh, they know. They have to know _something_.” Sunghoon has an arm draped around Heeseung, while his other hangs off the couch, still laying on Jake’s lap, “I think we all know they know, but there’s a way we have to go about things. I just wish we could get Jay-ah and Wonie to realize that and be careful.”

“Jungwonie’s real smart though,” Niki starts, still talking into Sunoo’s hoodie, “that’s why it's scary. He’s either failing at playing dumb, or doesn’t know that he looks like he’s got a really bad crush or he might be savage enough not to care about what anyone thinks.”

Jake’s leaning at an unnatural angle using Sunoo’s hunched back as a pillow, “What if… its option three? Like… for Jungwon at least, it’s probably option three but… for Jay I think it’s option one, or a fourth option which would be that he doesn’t know what to make of his feelings.”

“You’re not wrong, probably, but what makes _you_ so sure of that?” Sunghoon asks, eyes closed.

Jake recalls an incident from earlier in the day, “Well, before we left for work I see Jungwon’s cute little doodle on one of those little sticky notes just out in the open on the counter. I don’t know what Jay-ah did to deserve that sweetness in the AMs, but I do what I do and I call it out, right?”

Niki starts to move between Sunoo’s slumped over chest and lap. He probably needs air to breathe, so Jake bends off so Sunoo can lean back on Jake’s shoulder. They’re all barely lucid at this point.

“Every single time I call him out I hope he says something honest and raw… something soft like an _‘aww’_ like a human being would but as always Jay-ah tells me to _‘keep my damn mouth shut’_ like its a secret no one else sees or something he doesn’t want to see. _”_

“That! That right there,” Heeseung without looking up from Sunghoon’s chest points right at Jake, and his finger ends up smooshed on his cheek. Jake just takes it and doesn’t acknowledge the action “That’s the shit that triggers me about JayWon. There's no way he doesn't know! Is he leading him on? Does he like him only as a friend?” his arm falls from face cheek to Niki’s head, “I mean, that’s my kid and I know my kid is soft for Jongseong. I see it and everyone sees it. Wonie gives him the most personalized compliments… He is SO direct. I don't want him to get hurt and stop being that way. I am _so_ proud and I am _soooo_ jealous that he’s got the balls to be bold that young. I wish I could've been that way sooner.”

He nuzzles up to Sunghoon, further up to move his head closer to his neck, “I’m not proud to admit this but… Hoonie, you know how I’ve been so touchy feely with everyone, like touching every single person on I-LAND at one point or another?"

“… yes?” Sunghoon has no idea what Heeseung is about to say, but he’s got a sneaking suspicion he’s about to be mildly appalled.

“I did it for you. I trained myself to be that way especially for the show so that I could have an excuse touch you every single time I could without editors suspecting how terribly hard I am for you always.”

“Ugh… hyung,” Sunoo groans, “Have some dignity. No one in this Sleepy Boy Pile needs to hear you say the word hard. Also stop saying balls.”

“Woooow.” Jake leans his head back in a gasping open mouthed laugh, “That is the sweetest, most aggressive act of cowardice I’ve ever heard anyone admit to.”

“You what?!” Sunghoon musters all the strength he has to throw his dangling arm at Heeseung in a weak slap to his back. “Do you know how you being that way made me insane? I cried _so much_ wondering if you liked me back or if I was seeing things that weren’t there! And you touched EVERYONE in the same way you touched me! Which was BARELY but enough to make crazy. I SHOULD KILL YOU.” he’s screaming in the softest way with his eyes closed still laying flat with Jake’s lap as a pillow, “I am SO angry… but I can’t do anything about it right now!”

“Niki, please move. I’m gonna try to get up… Maybe do the dishes. I don’t want to be a part of this fight.” Sunoo makes the intelligent decision to wobble out of dodge.

“Aww, Hoonie nooo, are we fighting?” Heeseung whines in aegyo.

“Get off me. I’m going with Ddeonu.” Sunghoon lets out an exasperated sigh, “I have to think.”

Heeseung pouts and tries to give Sunghoon a kiss and gets met with a soft open palm to the face. Its Jake’s.

“Yo, give him some space,” he shakes his head and takes his hand back.

Sunghoon is mad, but they’re not fighting and Jake is right. He does just needs some space. He gives Jake a lazy smile, leans off his lap with his elbows while Heeseung shifts backward with his forearms still flanking the younger boy’s torso, he does it with a pout. He’s sorry, he looks it. It’s in his big doe eyes and the tiny line that is his mouth. He can’t stay mad at that face but still, he needs his space. He’s close, they’ll be closer but now is not the time or the place. Sunghoon leans forward just a little, it’s all it takes to close the distance, and he kisses his mouth. Just a soft, closed lipped touch.

Heeseung smiles into the kiss and its over. With a sigh he’s gently pushed off and he realizes that they just did that in front of three of their closest friends in close proximity and Sunghoon is not bothered.

“Quit being so scared. I like you much more than you know.” Sunghoon’s sat up with his legs bent between Heeseung on his knees on the couch, “Outside maybe, we’ve got to be careful, but really, I don’t care who sees. We’re just that great together.”

Sunoo, already standing extends his hand to his favorite hyung. “Lets go be responsible adults, hyung.”

He nods his head and takes the hand offered. Dazed and waddling, they make their way to the kitchen arm in arm.

The blonde, the red head and the brunette are left on the couch, still sleepy. Heeseung’s faced away from the kitchen still kneeling on the couch seat, leaning sideways against the backrest while looking at Jake. On Jake’s left is Niki, rolled over on his stomach, shoulders up, elbows down, fists resting on his chin. They watch his mop of blonde list side to side as he drags himself across the leather seat on his elbows sapped of energy toward Jake. His head goes face down on his lap with an airy flop.

Tired, Heeseung smiles at this scene. It’s cute, but barely appropriate now and probably inappropriate in any other circumstance. The hyungs share a look with half open eyes. They wear the same expression.

_This is okay. Essentially, everything is Okay._

When his gaze inevitably sinks back down to Jake’s lap and past that, he clocks a detail he hasn’t seen before. He wonders how long it’s been there and if that’s where it’s been this whole time.

Reading the transparent changes in Heeseung’s face as his eyes haven’t drifted from that focus, Jake’s mind starts to race, buzzing with confusion.

Mildly unsettled, Heeseung asks, “Hey, Jakey, are you—?” He stops to rephrase the question, “Is that Jongseong’s fedora you’re sitting on?”

“Huh?” Jake shifts to look behind his seat while Niki picks himself up to check on that observation, “Oh yeah, I guess it is. Oops.” He picks up the hat, misshapen and crushed with a guilty toothy grimace, “My bad.”

“Oh boy. He’s gonna kill you when he sees this,” the older boy takes the fedora from his hand and gently tries to mold it back into a recognizable shape, “this is an expensive vintage piece—”

“Why is his shit always so expensive?" Jake throws his hair back, "I feel bad but it's not like he’s not made of money.“

“—and this is his father’s fedora.”

“What?!”

“Like his literal real dad?” Niki asks to clarify because of the excessive amount of paternal analogies they’ve used throughout the day, “Biologically? And that's a hat that was his dad's?” He gasps at the response, an affirmative nod.

"Yes Niki. To all that."

“Oh no." Jake’s hands go over his completely open mouth, "He's going to murder me.”

“Yeah, he will.” Heeseung starts to chuckle at the memory of Jay’s iconic caw, brushing off lint and trying to breathe form back into misshapen suede. Years ago he remembers the first time he was introduced to Jay’s wardrobe, how we proudly talked fashion and showed off vintage pieces kept in pristine condition.

There’s no going back for Jay’s Father’s Fedora. The material is old and its been crushed by the weight a five person Sleepy Boy Pile, under the butt of its structural keystone Jake. Those facts make it clear that there is no way that even the most skillful haberdasher could iron out these dents and crease-lines.

With a sympathetic grin, Heeseung fits the hat on Jake’s head like a lopsided crown and changes the subject. “You guys wanna run out to the back porch for a second?” he suggests.

“What?! Hyung it’s the dead of night _and_ its winter!” Niki points out the obvious

“That’s the point! It’ll shock the life back into us.”

“Or we die,” Jake adds, dead in the voice, “but that’s always been in the cards. For me especially. Now especially.”

Youngest nods. “That can happen.” Why bother fighting fate.

“What the fuck, let’s do it!” Jake claps his hands and hops to his feet, “EN’s get it!”

“Yeah!” shameless, mathyung quotes their own song complete with a hand gesture, “Baby, let’s go!”

“LETCHUGO!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to give a special shout out to kylisungs. Thank you for the note on length!


	11. Citrus & Honey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunghoon makes a simple hot beverage with two ingredients.

The dishwasher’s on doing the heavy lifting filled with the day’s pots and pans, but Sunghoon still has a few items he has to wash by hand. He chooses to do it with cold water, no pink gloves. He had the same idea about shocking the life back into himself with a sudden change of temperature. Sunoo, sleepy but determined to stay accountable for his actions, slowlyyy wipes down the hard surfaces, tosses out kitchen trash and packs away leftover ingredients. He’s a hard worker and when he’s serious he’s quiet.

It hasn’t been this quiet at the dorm since this morning when Sunghoon woke up, the only living thing in the dorm. He can hardly believe that was… _fourteen hours ago?_

He thinks about whether they should call the cops, worried about Jay and Jungwon.

That thought is interrupted when the balcony door bursts open. The door hits the wall with a bang and three boys in their indoor clothing pour back in freezing, eyes wide like madmen.

“AH! MY FACE!” Heeseung screeching runs past the kitchen, down the hallway holding his face, “BLANKET!”

“Oh! That was stupid!” Jake shivers his way to the kitchen, curling up in a fetal position in a corner by the dishwasher radiating a little bit of heat, “Why do I keep doing stupid things? Why do I keep saying yes to doing stupid things?” He rocks with his hands around his knees asking questions he knows answers to.

“BrRRrrr…rRAdi rA-ra rAh!” Niki shuffles in last, holding himself with his hands in a white-knuckle clutch on his upper arms, each step an agitated shiver.

“The hyungs...” Niki makes a steady staggered beeline to Sunoo. He’s quick but his movements are stiff, “They kept daring each other to stay longer…” he throws his arms around Sunoo for warmth, “and I caved into peer pressure.” his words are laden in shame.

Sunoo just shakes his head and reaches a hand over to give Niki few lazy pats on the head.

“Do we have anything warm we can make to drink?” Mathyung shuffles back in the kitchen wrapped in a comforter.

“Are you serious right now?” Sunghoon’s energy spikes just barely but still with heavy-lidded scoff, “After all the beverage-centric shenanigans we’ve gotten into today, I… We’re _ALL_ sticking with water for a while.”

Heeseung makes a face, picks up a few memories, scrunches his nose and sees that point.

Sunghoon thinks to himself, _Why do I keep saying yes to doing stupid things?_ He asks himself a question he knows the answer to.

“Fine. I’ll throw on the kettle. We’ll do a hot yuja with honey,” he relents in a sigh, “If we fuck that up, we have bigger problems. Like, major cognitive deficiencies.”

Two arms and a comforter wrap around Sunghoon’s shoulders from behind.

The “Thank you,” spoken into his neck is sweet, shy and means it sincerely.

“M-hm,” he nods like he’s doing Heeseung a favor, but he does think that might be nice. “Ddeonu, grab us a kettle please.”

Sunoo bends his elbow and hand flies up in a lifeless “Yes,” and immediately comes down. The whole action is a mood. He peels Niki off him and trods over to the cabinet where they keep the kettle.

While everyone else seems to have crawled back out of the grave just a little bit, Sunoo hovers just above the energy they had in the boy pile. Sunghoon doesn’t like that at all. He wants better for his son. He deserves better than to crash at this energy on Spa Day night.

Heeseung pulls away from his pose as human cape, he feels that vibe. He knows what that feels like, to want better for your son. Suddenly he feels a tugging on the fabric of his comforter and of course its Jake on the floor in the corner of the kitchen. Heeseung should take a back seat or better yet, a floor seat. He has a feeling that right now he should. He walks over to the corner tagging Niki in as he passes by with an arm around his waist on his way to go sit on the floor with Jake. He wraps the two beside him and they share a blanket on the floor, waiting for hot water with yuja and honey.

Sunoo, barely there, finally finds the kettle and hands it off to Sunghoon. He feels a tugging at his pant leg. Its Niki. He motions him over to come sit with them and share a comforter on the corner of the kitchen floor. Sunoo does it, he doesn’t have the energy to do anything but follow.

Niki’s the only one of the three not hugging his knees on the floor, he take a cross-legged seat. Sunoo dawdles closer and he lifts his side of the comforter, expecting to have Sunoo take the space next to him opposite Heeseung but instead he takes a place on Niki like he was his chair. Sunoo leans back and gets cozy in his seat and the comforter. Niki doesn’t mind this at all. To his right, Heeseung and Jake share an ‘ _Aww’_ and lean into each other coz it feels right.

Sunghoon smiles at the scene. This works. He’ll thank Heeseung later for gathering the audience in one place.

“So, this morning, hours before Jungwon got up,” he begins filling the kettle with water from the tap, “I woke up out of a dead sleep feeling really really _thirsty_ —“

Heeseung’s listening but his head starts to tilt because today that word’s been so overused.

“—so I get up, get down from my bunk to get a drink of water, right?“ The kettle goes on the range and he turns on the heat.

Sunoo is not at all surprised that his hyung meant that word literally.

He walks over to the fridge, takes the last yuja in the crisper and continues, “Everyone’s asleep, snoring. Passed the fuck out—“ passing by the drying rack he picks up a the cutting board Heeseung used earlier, “but I digress, so water. I need me some water.”

He walks to the butcher’s block, grabs a knife and stops at spot in the kitchen, “I’m standing right here,” he turns to look at the huddle in the corner to make an appropriate hand gesture.

Of course, Heeseung was all eyes and all ears. Jake slowly raises an eyebrow, mouth gradually goes open in a ‘o’ in short caps. Sunoo just barely rolls his head to the side but his brows start to furrow and Niki wears a smile unrelated to Sunghoon’s story.

Pleased with the reaction, he continues, “—you know, to get a glass from the cupboard and then I see it. Right there—”

He points with the knife in a direction.

Sunoo’s eyes narrow and he shifts in his seat to register the specific direction Sunghoon refers to. Jake’s eyebrow raises higher and ‘o’ turns into a smirk. Heeseung hangs on every word.

“—the balcony. Through the frosted glass panel—“

Heeseung’s eyes grow wider and preemptively links arms with Jake. Sunoo leans forward to hug his knees in his seat, still groggy while Niki is trying to process how Sunoo ended up sitting in the space between his legs, completely bypassing his lap.

“—a large formless shadow—“

Jake has his entire nose and mouth in hands and his eyes have grown huge. Sunoo is completely, his face slowly descending into a clear what the fuck.

“—the size of a full-sized man—“

Jake gasps into his hands, squeezing further into the corner while Heeseung has slides closer into Jake’s personal space. Sunoo’s eyes are bulging, so are Niki’s but his mouth is frozen between a gasp and a smile.

“—like an actual human person.” Sunghoon makes this point clear because of course he does.

Jake and Heeseung are so close they share an arm, the comforter now rising higher to around their chins.

Sunghoon continues, “A featureless lump the size of a fucking person.”

Jake screams into the comforter in tiny. Heeseung looks like he’s begun to eat his upper and lower lips.

“What… the?” Sunoo wrapped in this story and this comforter and his mouth just hangs. Niki for some other reason has a wide-eyed, open mouth smile with an arm wrapped over Sunoo’s shoulder.

“So,” he cuts the yuja lengthwise into wedges because that’s the best way to get the most juice out of a citrus. Look it up. He slices one citrus fruit into five, “Obviously I’m like, what is that. What is going on. Am I still asleep, that kinda deal.” He turns his attention back to everyone and with a grave look on his face says, “Then I see it move—“

“I don’t like this!” Sunoo crosses his arms over his chest to make himself smaller and completely leans into Niki who’s still wearing a look somewhere between amusement and terror with arms around Sunoo’s upper body, “Hyung, don’t play! This isn’t funny!”

“Oh, I’m not playing.” Sunghoon looks dead serious, “This happened this morning. Right there on the balcony.”

“NO!” Heeseung jumps out of his skin. He is holding Jake and Jake is holding him and their legs have braided into each other. “Hoonie, you lie!”

“I’m not lying.”

“We were out there!” Jake is going out of his mind, “THRICE!”

“Why didn’t you say something earlier?! Like, the first time?!” Sunoo is trying to sublimate himself into Niki’s entire being.

Niki, again, is smiling. Just a look of terror and wide-open mouth, smiling. Maybe its because he’s really into ghost stories. Maybe it’s the Kim Sunoo between his legs, shaking.

He musters up all the courage he requires to say something and steer himself from the edge of sanity. “Wait, Sunghoon hyung. Weren’t you and Heeseungie hyung just out there making out?”

“AND??!”

“Hoonie! Nooo!” is said in the loudest, softest whisper by the face smushed up against a catatonic Jake’s cheek. “This means our love is HAUNTED now!”

_Why is this always this easy…_

“WHAT.” Sunoo is back to 110%.

“I…” Sunghoon realizes he just said that out loud. “I never said this was a ghost story.” He might’ve flubbed this set-up but just relieved the whole thought didn’t slip out. _(Why is this always this easy… to edge the sanity out of Heeseungie.)_

“Do NOT fuck with me HYUNG!” Sunoo pops off his seat out of the comforter to bang his fist on the counter, “I’VE GOT A WEAK HEART AND _NO ONE_ _IS SAFE_ FROM MY **_WRATH_**.”

Niki snaps out it and reaches instinctively for Sunoo’s hand. He doesn’t remember when he does but he doesn’t let go for the remainder of this conversation. This gets Sunoo to calm down… and he gets back in his seat but still feels a low rumble of fury.

Heeseung leans out of Jake with his arms straight, pushing him deeper into the corner cabinet door. For a few moments stays in that position with his spine at an angle.

Sunghoon kind of feels bad, but he doesn’t because it worked. The Spa Day BrainTrust is back and they’re ready for the real tea and that real tea is just hot water with two ingredients: citrus and honey. Coincidentally, the kettle starts whistling. He takes five cups out, squeezes a wedge into each and pauses to wash his hands before reaching for a jar of honey. He doesn’t mind keeping the whistle going.

Hands washed and dripping, Sunghoon walks over to Jake still seated next to Heeseung on the floor. He bends down and casually wipes his sopping wet hands on the chest of Jake’s hoodie.

Heeseung gives a look, almost gets bothered when he realizes no one’s reacted to that at all. Sunoo, his canary in the coal mine (for drama) doesn’t clock this as an event, obviously neither does Niki, and Jake, like an actual kitchen hand towel, just took it without blinking or protest.

_Must just be Spa Day._

With dry hands Sunghoon continues, “Long story short, it’s the dead of morning and I see Jay-ah out on the balcony with his comforter. I know it’s him coz eventually I do see that silly topknot once my eyes adjusted to the dark.” Jar of honey open, he portions out the sweet with a spoon, “I watch him for a bit, but I did grab the knife before I was sure it was one of us and not a burglar, safety first,”

Sunoo nods in approval to that little detail.

“—and he just stands there for a while. I see him take a seat on the ground and I run to grab a big padded parka from the walk-in closet. I just had to head out there to see him. It freaked me out. I mean, he’s my homie and we’ve seen some shit together. It’s just... I’ve just never seen Jay pull anything like this before.”

Sunghoon starts pouring out hot water.

///////////////////////

Jay’s on the ground leaning up against the balcony overhang, looking straight into the house. He sees Sunghoon notice him from a distance in the kitchen. He knows its Sunghoon because no one else in the team is pale enough to be luminescent in the dark. He sinks down onto the floor and takes a seat, covers the top of his head in his comforter and wraps himself tighter. Sunghoon’s gone out of sight for a second, but he knows he’ll come out there with him soon. The balcony door opens and there he is. His one-and-only best _actual_ friend in a big, black puffy coat going down to his knees and his hood up. From that look, he knows Sunghoon will stay out there with him for as long as Jay needs.

“Jay-ah, you okay?” he takes a seat next to him throwing a puffy arm around his shoulders.

“Hoon-ah,” he rests his head on those puffy shoulders “hey.”

“Hey… What happened?” Sunghoon adjusts himself to look Jay in the eyes.

“I had a terrifying dream.”

“A nightmare?”

“No. It was a dream… and it was terrifying.”

“So, a nightmare?”

“Don’t you listen? No. It’s what I said it was.”

It’s dark out and thought the city lights shine beyond the balcony they sit in the shadows side by side.

“Hm.” Sunghoon’s not sure where he’s going with this, but he’ll hang in there. Jay seems to be in the mood to talk, “Expound on that thought and tell me how this terrifying dream wasn’t a nightmare.”

Jay breathes out. It’s a long breath.

“Wonie.”

///////////////////////

“After that he was quiet and then he said he was ready to go back to bed,” he takes the cup and tastes a sip. It tastes exactly like what what it is. Two ingredients in hot water. “but before we came back in I told him to take the day out today, away from us. I kinda hoped he’d make time to think. I’m just tired of him not taking this more seriously. It’s getting scary.”

“Oh wow.” Sunoo is blind sighted by howpainfully anticlimactic Sunghoon’s story ended up being, “That was a disproportionate amount of buildup for a painfully short story.” He wishes the dorm was haunted.

He narrows his eyes right at Sunoo, leaned over the kitchen island nursing the drink. He thinks of smacking that cup out of his hand. “How do you think I felt? I thought my homie Jay-ah was having a mental breakdown. I got a coat! I was ready to be emotionally available, hear him out and he blue balls me, emotionally. He didn’t even give me a full sentence, just a ‘Wonie’. That set up and let down is pretty much how I felt.”

“The disrespect.” Jake shakes his head, arms crossed, leaning back on his old seat at the head of the table.

“I’m SO soooorry that happened to you Sunghoonie hyung,” the words are sweet but his tone is dripping in sarcasm, “I don’t know what I would’ve done in your shoes other than be tempted to run back in to grab the knife.”

“Don’t you take that tone with your father, young man!” Heeseung snaps. He’s abandoned the comforter on the table now that he's warmer.

“Aww.” Sunoo holds his hand over his chest, touched. “You’re right. That was rude, I’m sorry dad, step-dad.”

Sunghoon scoffs, “I did think about it, the knife. That’s how upset it made me that he shut me out after the effort I made out of a dead sleep... Jokes aside _it is_ a little funny how terribly repressed Jay-ah is but I do actually feel a way about it. I hope he went and did something cool today and thought about things.”

Sunoo wears a sentimental grin, “You know, I actually made him promise to have a legend of a day before we split ways earlier. I like him a lot too. He’s sweet and so easy to talk to about everything,” he drinks a bit more yuja honey water, “I wouldn’t change anything about how this day went, but one day I’d like Spa Day with Jay hyung. No offense to anyone, but I want more quality time with _just_ Jay hyung.” He sighs with a wry smile, looking into his teacup. “We could easily talk for hours and I love talking to him about fancy lad stuff. Fashion, brands, beauty, hair, gossip… He knows a ton about things I’m already a nerd about and he’s fucking deep. He’s so silly everyday, but he is just so profound.”

Everyone’s a little taken back to find out in clear terms that Sunoo has a deep affinity for Jay. They’re not surprised in a bad way. Its just a good kind of shock. This knowledge leaves them wishing they could see Sunoo and Jay spend more time together, because that’s the kind of friendship they all have: close friends who want to see their close friends indulge in topics they love.

“It is kind of endearing how easy he is to talk to about everything but himself.” Sunoo finishes off his cup.

“Yeah, that’s a hundred percent Jongseong.” Nostalgic, Heeseung adds with a far off look, “Once upon a time, we used to be so much closer. I miss those days, however grim it might’ve gotten, when all we had was each other. I don’t know what happened but one day we just... stopped being as close. Like we’re still close, very close but it just… felt like he shut the door to a room I used to get to hang out in?” he says this, not entirely sure if he reached for the right analogy, emptying his cup. “I mean, it’s probably just my anxiety projecting that, but sometimes I wish I knew what changed.”

“Oh?” Sunghoon looks a bit surprised, “Do… you not know that he had a crush on you?”

The cup slips out of Heeseung’s hand. “WHAT?” Its a miracle it didn’t shatter. 

“Yeah. If you had a hint that I did back then, I figured you could tell that he had a crush too.”

“I’m confused. That Jongseong? Park Jongseong?!” Heeseung's in denial.

Sunghoon say this flatly, “Yes, _that_ Park Jongseong.”

“The guy who decked out this hoodie??” Heeseung points to his clothes with both hands bent at the wrists.

Sunghoon thinks Heeseung protests a little too much, “Yeah, that guy who used a knife to distress that perfectly normal hoodie for no good reason other than you had it on your body had a huge crush on you.”

“No! Park Jay? The blonde with angry bird call?” Heeseung might just want to hear that again because it feels good to be admired.

Sunghoon gets what this is doing to him, “Yes, that other Park, our Jay-ah. He had it really BAD for you.

“Get out.” Heeseung protests but is flattered.

“Oh my god,” Sunoo clicks his tongue and does a deep blink and starts nodding, "this all makes so much sense"

“Doesn’t it? That’s how Jay and I ended up best _actual_ friends. I mean, Jakey you know I’m a competitive guy.“

“I’d use the word boy, but BOY, do I ever!” Jake with a bite to his lower lip shoots his best friend with finger gun, proud to be called out with that detail.

“Yeah, you get that life!” A paler, pointier finger gun shoots right back at Jake, “We get into intellectual shoving matches from time to time and it’s relentless. Everyone I’m close to I enjoy engaging in playful rivalry with. I live for that game and I _LIVE_ for relentless push-back.”

“I understand this completely.” Niki absolutely understands this perspective first-hand.

"Those first times I really got brazen with my hints was because he was vying for the same person's attention I was. Having him as competition pushed me to be a little bolder."

"Oh my god," Sunoo gasps, "You got pushed."

"Yes," Sunghoon agrees with that summation, "I got pushed."

" 떠밀려 왔어 " ("tteomillyeo wasseo") Niki just needs to sing this part every time he hears this phrase said.

“Heeseungie, you were our first major battlefield.”

“Whaaat.” Heeseung, still playfully incredulous because this is consistent to his character, “Get out of this house.”

“Thats why we clicked instantly and got to be so tight, trainee stuff and work ethic compatibility aside. Suddenly catching each other hard for the same dude—“

“LANGUAGE FATHER.”

“Chill Sunoo, they’re just words.” Niki snakes an arm around Sunoo’s waist, “They can’thurt you unless you let it.” Sage advice from their youngest.

“Have you not heard him speak today?! He was thirsty for water!” frantic, Sunoo clutches the collar of Niki’s hanbok imploring but not wanting to know the answer to “What does he MEAN by HARD?!”

“—realizing we developed those feelings at around the same time,”

Closing his eyes Sunoo laments, “I realize now that we could all use a bigger vocabulary.” He softens into a hug offered generously by his willing caretaker.

“Hey now... It’s okay, you're okay.” the ash blonde lands a few kisses on black hair, “There there... I’m here for you, babe.”

Sunoo gives up on a passing thought to rebuff pet name and saves his strength to not cry in frustrated rage.

“Jay-ah and I stayed in your orbit, until one day it was clear to him you didn't see him that way and that I had a better trajectory to land... and there was someone else that begun to really catch his eye,”

“Wonie...!” Heeseung gasps in recognition.

“— with all those character traits that endeared him to you, just things he’s always wanted more of in his life. We talked about this a lot back then, Jay-ah and I, we have a similar type... and don’t take this the wrong way Heeseungie, you’re very attractive in his book but Wonie’s definitely more his style.”

“Oh, I get that. I’m not bothered by that at all,” mathyung says, reciprocating a fist bump offered over the counter by maknae. The two of them bond over that vibe.

“Heeseungie hyung!” Jake excitedly starts summating this plotline, “Jay literally likes your son! That’s bold!” then he looks around the room with his mouth open in amusement, his hands holding up an invisible pillow, “Then he backs off the father to be with his son?! That is _italic!!_ ”

“Correction: Jay-ah backed off because I won and he knew it,” with a small nod of the head and a thumb pointed to his chest, Sunghoon wears that fact with pride, “ _Then_ he meets his son,” with the same hand he points at Heeseung, “The rest is recent history.”

Jake starts a slow clap in awe of that verbal savagery.

“That... that actually makes me feel so much better.” Heeseung rubs his chest in relief, “Now I know why Jongseong and I aren’t as tight as we used to be and why we can’t go back to that... I’m okay with this and I’m happy he’s moved on… This gives me peace. Thank you _so_ much Hoonie.”

With the weight of uncertainty lifted from his shoulders Heeseung softens, finally seeing his past for what it was. He is indebted to Sunghoon for helping him put the pieces together, filling in the spaces where unfounded feelings of guilt and fear used to be, happy to be free of yet another unspoken burden carried for too long. He’s overwhelmed with a flood of beautiful emotion, it fills him completely. He walks over to him resting both hands over the top of his shoulders, sliding down to the outer parts of his arms to give a grateful two handed handshake.

Wordlessly, these these thoughts carry over. Sunghoon reads it in his eyes. They’ll thank each other later. For now this look, this distant touch is enough. It says everything.

“Happy to help.” Sunghoon nods with a warmth and begins taking away a few empty cups to soak in the sink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this entire fic is just an excuse to use all the inside jokes from my favorite kakaotalk gc in fake casual conversation. i miss people lol aaaaah covid.


	12. Player 01 & Player 02

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something doesn't add up for Niki so he asks questions for educational purposes. Everybody takes a hard left. Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Suggestion:** Do yourself a favor and listen to something wholesome before reading this chapter. I suggest (insist) that you take the time to listen to **Likey** and **TT** by **TWICE**.

Niki still mulls over a few details from the stories shared earlier. One point in particular unsettles him. “Sunghoon hyung, did you figure out why was Jay hyung was outside in the first place?” his eyebrows knot on his forehead, he’s asking these questions sincerely, “And why did he insist on not calling it a nightmare? Isn’t a bad dream and a nightmare the same thing?” He legitimately wonders the difference for educational purposes as this conversation isn’t spoken in his native tongue.

“It is but that’s ALL Jay-ah. He’s got a command on language that's just specific and deliberate. He doesn’t conveniently swap synonyms because of how much he means what he says the way he says it to a _’T.’_ ” Sunghoon shares his unique perspective as Jay’s best _actual_ friend, “It’s not a nightmare because it wasn’t a scary dream. It is a dream because something good happened. It’s terrifying because of how it makes him feel.”

Everyone takes a slice of silence to digest that statement. For a beat, they’re like a group of blind men examining an elephant, trying to figure out what creature stands in front of them.

“Ugh. I think I know what that was.” Heeseung’s mouth is small and he dares not look anywhere other than directly at the space in front of him at the dining room table.

Jake’s mouth flies open with a smiling gasp, “Oh! I know this! I’ve been there!”

“What.” Very slowly, the gears turn in Sunghoon’s mind. It takes a while.

“You get it.” Heeseung’s tiny mouth turns into a tiny smile. He scrunches his nose, “You know.”

“Hyung!” Jake’s smile gets larger, “I feel like we’re bonding on something important.”

“We are Jakey. We are.”

Finally, Sunghoon gets it, “I hate you both sometimes, but yes. That is what this was”

“JESUS, WHY.” <— Kim Sunoo.

“What’s the big deal?” Niki asks this question with a sincerely pure heart, “That’s a lot quicker than waking up to take a cold shower every time that happens. Can we not demonize each other for being human males?” The wisdom of this child!

“Niki,” Kim Sunoo’s eyes are closed, reaching deep within for calm. “You’re not wrong but I never want to hear you speak about that in mixed company ever again.“

“That’s why he calmed down so quickly“ Sunghoon continues again, just like this was a regular conversation because it sort of is, “he sees me as kryptonite for that energy.”

“DON’T.” Sunoo’s hands fly over his ears.

“Oh, I get it. So that side hug then,“ Jake builds on this canvas with a touch of paint.

“Yup.” he pauses to establish white space, “I can confirm I have that effect on Jay-ah,” then Sunghoon takes a brush and slowly sweeps out, “all it takes is a little bit of contact with me and he’s—“

“Father I will kill you if you keep expounding,” Sunoo threatens calmly with a look of horror. Niki’s hands have added to the hands over his ears.

“—immediately flaccid.”

“DO NOT MAKE AN ORPHAN OF YOUR SON!” Sunoo’s fingers are now clutching the sides of his face with pressure.

“I... I don’t understand how that’s even possible. That poor guy.” the sympathy in Heeseung’s voice is akin to hearing about someone who’s allergic to chocolate. Or puppies. Or hugs. “Poor, poor Jongseong.” Genuinely, he feels Jay’s at a loss.

“Hey, thats a good thing.” Sunghoon puts his hand on Heeseung to console him, giving a thumbs up, “We all could use friends like that.”

Jake thinks who that might be for himself, “I would like that for myself someday,” he says wistfully, picking up his cup of warm yuja water, “I have a confession to make. Lo key that’s why I agreed to go outside earlier.”

“WHAaaT?! Jakethy. Did we turn you on?” <— Lee Heeseung, 21 years old (19 in Earth Years)

Jake just buries his nose and mouth in his cup, “A switch turned half way doesn’t complete a circuit and I’m leaving it at that.”

Looking DONE, Sunoo takes his hands from his face and says flatly, “I might have to go outside too in a bit. For the express purpose of freezing to death rather living with the memory of this leg of conversation.”

“Wait. Hoonie, Does that go both ways for you and Jongseong?” Heeseung throws a playful arm around his neck, absolutely cheesing.

“Good question. Inquiring minds would like to know.” with a toothy smile, Jake puts down his cup and rests a hand on his cheek like a cherub in a classical art piece.

Sunghoon stops to think of how to answer that question “I.. I haven’t needed to find out if it is,” his arms cross over his chest and suddenly he loses the ability to make eye contact.

“Whaaaat? Seriously?” the boy hanging off his shoulder is smiling like he’s watching an adorable baby penguin struggle to walk on ice to the sound of a xylophone.

“I’ve... got a lot of willpower.” the baby penguin tries very very hard not to smile. He is failing. It shows.

“Naaaaaw, whaaat?” Heeseung is all teeth, perfectly straight, blindingly white teeth, nose scrunched, just fancy cheesing.

Sunghoon slowly starts to break composure, “I grew up on ice in skin tight satin and spandex! In public!” the screaming usually gives him away, “Of FUCKING course I’ve got that part of me under control! What do you expect?!”

With Heeseung it’s never really what he says but how he says it. “Aww... Hoonie!” He knows it. “D’aww...” He leans so far left into it.

“That’s just—!” Jake, like he has been the whole day, is a savory-sweet blend of awe, affection, admiration, envy and lightly spiced nuts, “What the hell! That’s not fair! That is JUST not FAIR. You are SO lucky! NO ONE’S like that! How are you even HUMAN?! You lucky LUCKY duck on ice... Fuck you man, this... life just isn’t fair!”

Shaking his head, Jake walks over to Sunoo and Niki who’ve picked up the comforter and parked themselves on the dining room bench, a heavily cloaked audience.

“I think the word you’re reaching for is ‘penguin’ Jakey hyung,” Sunoo lifts up his side of the heavy blanket to invite their Aussie Friend in the huddle, “A duck on ice is basically a penguin.”

Niki likes that. He thinks that logic checks out. Biologically no, but metaphorically possibly maybe. “Sunghoon-ah hyung is a lucky penguin,” he paraphrases, nodding.

Standing in the middle of the kitchen flustered, Sunghoon’s kept his eyes closed as if that somehow makes it more difficult for anyone else to see the dusting of pink on his cheeks and the lightest shade of a smile he’s biting his lower lip to hide.

Heeseung feels bad for teasing but nah, what the fuck he doesn’t. He’s living for this, but decides to ease off a bit. He’ll edge the sanity out of Sunghoon some other time.

He tries to wrap this conversation up with something cogent. “I admire that. I do.” He immediately starts actively failing. “I mean… earlier with the shirt thing I…” He’s lost the will to try to be sane. What the hey, its fucking Spa Day and bewilderingly, they’re all still alive. “That was... I was like… Yeah, I would drop the microphone for that.” Heeseung makes zero eye contact, nodding and smiling in microscopic.

Sunghoon’s eyes fly open, and so does his mouth just aghast, “Shut it.” He is embarrassed, but cannot fight the look on his face that gives away that he feels incredibly flattered. He’s silent for a bit, eyes somewhere up and to the far left of the room. The muscles of his face start to ache. He is losing his personal war on smiling.

From left to right: Jake, Sunoo and Niki exchange looks. They make a silent pact to remain seated and watch the show. Doc.Shim and the Medics assume the role of captive audience. They wish they had popcorn. They watch the two in the middle of the kitchen both making eye contact with baseboards and crown molding, Sunghoon in a pale pink with his arms crossed over his chest and Heeseung with a redness at the tips of his ears still with his arm slung around his neck, both refusing (unable?) to move or lest a game begins.

_Fuck it._

Sunghoon fires the first shot. He turns his head to Player 01 and makes casual eye contact with an eyebrow cocked. “Heeseungie, you act like you don’t know your body is insane.” He starts off talking this is a normal conversation, like this is just something people tell each other casually.

Oof. Not bad. “Whaaat? Me?” Heeseung elongates his vowels, retracting his arm, placing a hand on his chest like he just got told something wholesome about a small child, “When?” Each word that follows he tilts his head, exuding a pure energy, “Really?”

“I have eyes.” Player 02 scoffs, rolling his eyes. “I’m always watching.” He’s confident he can hold his own. “You.”

“Oh?” Brows fly above doe eyes but the tone remains wholesome. “Okaay. I dig that.” His hand remains on his chest, giving small bows, graciously taking a compliment. “Thank you for your patronage!” 

“M-hm.” Penguin nods back, returning the small bows, blinking a little too frequently. “My pleasure,” he says with a quick waggle of his brows and barely a purse of his lips.

Deer is stunned for a second, his head tilts, still nodding in tiny. He’s determined not to lose so easily.

Player 01 turns to lean an arm on the counter to face him, “You likey?” The question delivered is both juvenile and cocky, brazen in its stupidity.

Player 02 feels a chuckle come on, but fights it! With his best impression of a straight face he responds, “Me likely,” he’s satisfied with that volley. There’s a tiny smile that slips through his bit lower lip.

Heeseung is also wrestling with a smile, but he pushes through, “Likey, likey?” He says fuck it to fighting the smile at the last second, leaning into toothy delivery.

_Let’s see what you do with that, Park._

Sunghoon sucks in his lower lip, this is getting bad.

_Shit._

He knows what he has to respond with, but to do that he must lean into the wind “Likey.” The wind blows him far left. He’s got nowhere else to go, he knows it, but for good measure he follows up with the next line, “Me likey likey likey.” He closes his eyes deep and swallows. He did it. He’s cringing so hard on the inside, but he stays strong.

_Ah! You idiot!_

Heeseung goes in for the kill. This was exactly how he wanted things to go. “Dugeundugeundugeun,” the line is delivered in shameless aegyo and he does a little dance. He just died a little bit inside, but it was worth it! If he can hold eye contact after that, he knows he wins.

Sunghoon and Heeseung are trembling, holding their eyes open, pupils shaking, daring not to move and break eye contact. Their cheek muscles are expelling so much lactic acid, tense with a repressed pressure.

_Shit._

They both break into a laugh, amused at that they actually quoted a TWICE song. They bask in corniness of it. They call this round a draw. Breathy, violent laughter brings them down to the floor, this a moment is a temporary truce. Sunghoon finds himself leaned up on the surface beneath the sink, sat on the laminate flooring with his legs outstretched and his head to the ceiling, breathless. Heeseung’s head is down and his mouth hangs open in giggles, knees bent halfway, elbows rested atop. He leans his cheek on his upper arm, also breathless.

The audience move with the show. Jake, Sunoo and Niki crawl underneath the dining room table, still wrapped in a comforter, keeping their laughter to a minimal volume but without a doubt roaring under their skin.

With no clear winner, they pick up where they left off. Someone always has to win.

Round 2 - START

Heeseung starts again, tone a bit more devious this round. “Well...?”

“What.” Sunghoon snaps back into play, with a half-lidded stare, eyebrows slightly raised.

The response is just a slight tilt of the head and a raised eyebrow. And a very clearly devilish smirk.

“Oh no.” Sunghoon staggers, emotionally. He recognizes that stare. That jerk! It’s a practiced killing look. “What have I done,” his eyes fly wide. He did not mean to say that last line out loud.

Clearly in the lead this time, Player One makes his next moves in confidence.

“Hoonie?” He creeps closer, close. Soon he’s in front of Sunghoon and he rests his arm up on the surface behind him.

Shocked by this boldness, a shriek: “Heeseungie!?”

“But…” Heeseung’s head lilts and he slowly leans in, “…baby?”

“OH C’MON!” Sunghoon throws his head to the side, the scream executed with a giant smile.

_No, this is too much. This is too easy._

Looking at the younger boy with fondness, he pulls back the assault with a wholesome hit, “Baby-Ba-Ba-Baby,” with balled up fists by the side of his face he dances to the familiar tune.

"You're cute," Sunghoon breaks into a relieved chuckle, "but no," reaching up to touch Heeseung’s face, appreciating the sudden handicap.

_So silly._

Player 01 backs off, scrunches his nose and decides to appreciate this moment of affection for what it is. “Oh but Hoonie,” He leans into the hand on his cheek just a little bit and smiling, starts to sing “I’m like TT,” he puts his thumbs under his eyes, fingers pointing down.

With a bright, beautiful, toothy smile Sunghoon joins in with a high-pitched, “Ooh,” both his hands barely touching his own face.

“Just like TT,” Heeseung thinks, ‘ _This is nice. He is SO cute and this is SO nice.’_

“Ooh,” Sunghoon shakes his head side to side as he sings along.

_Adorable. Hee likey._

“이런 내 맘 모르고” _( You don’t know how I feel, )_ Heeseung continues to do a seated version of the dance, hands patting down the tops of his own shoulders.

Sunghoon is losing his mind again but he leans into that energy, “너무해 너무해” _( So mean, So mean, )_ he tucks his hands by his underarms, acting a little haughty and a lottle cute.

For the next part of the chorus, they both continue to dance with their arms. With each line exchanged, Heeseung starts to lose his ability to resist.

“I’m like TT,”

“Aww!”

“Just like TT,”

“Aww…”

It doesn’t help at all that the way this parses out Sunghoon gets all the 'Ooh's and 'Aww's and executes it with a cuteness that makes Chamber 5 and 10 Months seem like ballads in comparison.

This, “Tell me that you’ll be my baby,” is the last line he can sing without breaking, “…doll?” The adlib is a different energy entirely. He goes from DAWN to DUSK leaning forward again. He doesn’t really know what his body is doing at this point.

“Aww, hell no!” Sunghoon is blind sighted by the change of pace, and his response comes off a lot harsher than he wanted it to be.

_Damnit, so close._ “What?” Player 01 leans back and his shoulders droop in a split second tantrum, “Weren’t we just vibing to TWICE?”

“Yes but—?“ Player 02 gives a pleading sigh, he’s not confident that he can _‘even.’_

Like a brat, Heeseung continues, “Let’s lean into that energy.”

“Okay?” Sunghoon wonders if they’re going to sing another TWICE song. He’s down for that. That was cute, that thing they just did.

But that’s not at all what Heeseung means, “You and me,” his right arm goes back up on the side counter surface by Sunghoon’s head, bold with desire he moves steadily forward, “Twice?”

With eyes popping out of his sockets Sunghoon eeks a high pitched, “Huh?”

Heeseung continues to to approach, he is slow and deliberate and his left hand travels up to barely caress Sunghoon’s cheek. He doesn’t stop. He has a mission. Like everything he does, he plays to win.

Sunghoon is is buffering. He is frozen and loading. He can barely breathe. This is bad. This is bad in that this is just _so good_ right now.

The older boy’s face is so close, he moves so slow, giving the younger, whose breathing increasingly belabored with each centimeter lost, every chance to fight back and say no. Sunghoon closes his eyes. He is scared. He’s scared of how much he wants this too.

He catches those long eyelashes flutter shut, looking down with so much adoration. _Oh Hoonie, no._ With a lick of his lips, he sails past Sunghoon’s lips, past his cheek, to his ear and with his own breath hot and ragged against those lobes he whispers, “JYP.”

“FUUUUCK!” Sunghoon throws his arms out and pushes him away with a force that sends Heeseung back laughing uproariously, flat on the floor with tears in his eyes, “Fuck you! Fuck you! FUck YoU!! FUCKING HELL what the FUCK?! WHAT _THE FUCK!?!?_ AAAAARGH!!!!”

Player 01 wins this round.

Now a quick break from the peanut gallery under the dining room table:

NK: “HA! Twice Boys. It’s funny because  
Spice Girls but Boys. Also TWICE.”

JK: “Workshop that pun a bit more. It’s not  
working. But for real, this play is straight  
out of your book, Niki.”

SN: “Not gonna lie, this is SO my speed”

NK: “Wait a couple of weeks, I might try  
something out”

JK: “That’s MY boy!”

SN: “… I am so down for that.”

And we’re back. Lets hop back in the scene.

We return to the scene in the middle of a crime of passion. A screaming penguin straddles a deer delivering a turret of 10 to 15 slaps per second. The deer is laughing with his hooves up to protect his muzzle. He feels bad but only because winning that round felt SO good.

“YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!” Sunghoon’s voice is hoarse, vocal cords completely fatigued. “AARGH!” He belts a final squawk and delivers a final slap to Hee’s arm with a defeated groan. He slumps over with his arms outstretched, hands on either side of Heeseung’s head.

They’re still on the floor. Heeseung flat on his back with his knees bent defensively, Sunghoon straddling his torso, slumped over with his arms outstretched, hands on either side of Heeseung’s head. Its a lot of energy to get this upset and Sunghoon is definitely tired.

Cheesing, proud of this moment, living for this scene, not looking at all like he’s just been punished for being a little shit, Heeseung regrets absolutely nothing. “Aw. Ddunghoonie,” he says the nickname in aegyo, daring to reach a hand up to touch that face like a fucking idiot.

“NO!” Sunghoon slaps the hand away and pins it above his head to prevent any further shenanigans, “No aegyo! NO!!” there’s a fear in that scolding.

Player 01 gives a playful whine. He wants to see that fear again.

Round 3 begins and we pick up on this relentless push and pull, this teasing game these two idiots are so fond of playing.

“Aww, I didn’t think you were this weak for me,” he looks up at Sunghoon just drinking in the scene. He’s down physically but he feels like a champion. An olympic champion.

Tired of his shit, daggers shoot downward to Heeseung. “Please don’t start.”

“I’m not.” Deer says with a serene smile.

Penguin’s eyes threaten to fall out of his head again, “Dont!”

“I won’t.” He’s not but he can’t ease up on the look of contentment in his eyes.

“Pleeeese, Heeseungie! Stop.” He is genuinely begging. He doesn’t know if he can _‘even’_ anymore.

A look of concern, Sunghoon actually looks like he might cry, “But I’m not trying?“

“AAAAGH” it’s a breathless expression, devoid of punctuation, “I know. But please,” he needs Heeseung to know he’s really struggling.

Heeseung feels like a very bad man. He feels this way because he knows he enjoys watching the boy on top of him struggle. He feels bad because this feels so good and so he continues to lean into that energy, “This is adorable,” his free hand rises up again like _fucking_ idiot to try to touch that face again.

“NOW YOU’RE TRYING!” The free hand is slapped away again and like its idiot twin limb it ends up pinned by the wrist to the floor.

There is no universe where this line is delivered in this scene without smiling, “What? Me?” The audacity he has to deliver those words dripping in innocence.

“Yes you!” Sunghoon looks down on Heeseung with murderous intent, his knuckles growing even whiter than it already is with the fury gripping those wrists beneath his hands.

“I’m just being Hee.” This guy. What an idiot. What absolutely cognitively deficient human person the size of a man.

“DONT BULLSHIT ME MATE!” Penguin barks in Jake.

JK: Oh! That’s me! That’s my line.

SN: I can’t believe hyungie made an effort to  
protest in English.

NK: That was a bad move.

“Mate?” Deer wonders why Penguin used English.

Unfortunately, Sunghoon knows _some_ English _this way._ “DEAR ENGENE, Help me.” His eyes turn skyward and prays for serenity.

“Hoonieee?” _Again with this shit._

Player 02 can’t take it, “No whining! I cant!”

“Why baby, why?” _This motherfucker._

Player 02 might just lose it, “YOU KNOW WHY.”

“But b—“ _Nope._

Player 02 is shaking, psychologically. “Don’t SAY IT!”

“—ab—“ _O HELL no._

“NO MORE SYLLABLES.” Sunghoon lets go of a wrist and covers that very nice looking mouth with his hand.

Heeseung pulls back, laughing into his sleeve with his recently freed arm, “Ahh too easy.”

“That’s just mean,” it is now time for Sunghoon to pout.

“Mean? Naw,” Heeseung’s embodies the spirit of Neutral Evil entirely, still with his elbow up over his widely smiling mouth.

That’s it, the scales tip now.

“Be nice,” Sunghoon’s gaze softens, the glower turns into a look of love, “please?” He moves his hand to ease Heeseung’s arm upward. The touch is soft, it lingers. Intentionally.

Noticing the shift in mood, Heeseung lets his guard down more. “How nice?” The deviance of his tone is tainted with eagerness.

“Darling,” the pet name’s uttered so sweetly, it’s meant to disarm and he succeeds. The word rolls off his tongue and while his hand leads that limb to yield again.

“Aww… Baby doll,” he melts into this gentle energy. Whatever’s happening right now, it feels right.

Satisfied with how he’s set up this shift of power he tees up for his swing, “I implore you,“ Wordless instruction cuts through his languid leer and without a shadow of objection Heeseung finds himself with both his hands above his head with his wrists pinned under Sunghoon’s left hand.

Lost in the feeling of fingers delicately moving up his jawline he asks, “What is it?” The question’s spoken with a yearning to know what happens next. He’s completely forgotten the circumstances leading up to this event. He almost forgets his own name.

With the tips of his fingers now lingering on that chin and the heat of his thumb hovering right above that trembling lower lip, “— do not make a monster out of me,” he switches to grab Heeseung’s jaw with a cruelty, a frustration he’s been keeping trapped under ice for so long.

The older boy is jarred by this sudden spike of pressure fingers on his cheeks, “Huh?”

Sunghoon heavy-lidded gaze morphs back into a glower, “You don’t know what you’re playing with,” the words are calm but the energy is seething.

JK: Oh here we go.

SN: I am gagging.

“What?” Player 01 is awash with bewilderment.

Player 02 descends at a threateningly leaden pace, “You have _no idea_ what I am,” again, still calm and enunciating as clearly as humanly possible.

“WHAT,” a seed of fear takes root in his soul.

The grip on the downed boy’s wrists tighten, “You should be afraid,” he’s got a surprising amount of grip strength.

That seed cultivates into a sprout, “THE WHAT.”

Sunghoon’s eyes narrow as he sinks deeper into this angle, “Terrified.” He says this word with a curled lip.

The spout grows upward, “OH NO,”it unfurls a few leaves.

He keeps inching closer with his lips now contorted into a sneer, “Petrified.” A fatal sneer.

The fear grows a bud, “NO!!!” he protests, but his mind screams a yes.

Sunghoon is so close to his face, his expression reads like he’s staring down an utter fool, “Scared,” his words drop with the weight of so much unspoken implication and the sweetness of his breath drips thick onto the face below him like so much honey, “out of your _Fucking_.” oh and he says that exactly the way it looks, with a capital letter, in italics and a grammatically incorrect period. He ends the thought with a bite and devours the exhale of a sharp gasp right out of Heeseung’s personal space, “Mind.” The older boy has actually forgotten his own name.

Fear is in full bloom and he snaps at a realization. “WOW!” Heeseung is astounded by the beauty of this blossoming dread.

The Ice Prince resumes his thought with a chillingly refreshing displeasure, “If you take me there—“ his fingers ease into a touch as gentle and disquieting as his tone.

His mind swims with the rhythm of that touch, “Oops.” Hee knows he’s been bad, been so very bad.

“— I won’t turn back,” he’s just having fun now, berating this peasant who dares to thaw his form.

“Eep!” ... and this is the point wherein Heeseung starts making friends with this new shade of fear.

Sunghoon reads the shift and is not entirely displeased with this friendship, “— and I will break you in half—” his mouth grows lazy and gaze starts to glow with mercy.

“Oh my god, NO.” Heeseung does not know that he says this with a grin.

With his eyes focused only on the older boy’s mouth at an obscene proximity he says in a smolder “—with my body.” that mercy is a ruse.

“FUCK ME.” A few gigabytes of memory are wiped from this mathyung’s mind.

“Don’t test me.” Sunghoon starts to back off, maybe a part of him melts away too. Maybe.

“NO!” Player 01 screams like a child, “I MEANT THAT IN EXPLETIVE,” like a child enjoying a thrilling roller coaster ride.

“I’ll mean _you_ in expletive.” Player 02 almost laughs at the idiocy of his that statement.

NK: That was a good line. I’m keeping that.

“FUUUUCK” this is screamed with an increasingly self-aware smile.

Oh no, the smile is so bright like a torch on ice, “Keep asking and maybe I will.” Sunghoon’s almost leaned back into his initial position at the beginning of the assault. He blinks away to keep from breaking face.

_Ha! Gotcha!_

Heeseung sees that window and he jumps at the chance, “Oh my god, YES.” Aaah, he means that but we’re not going there so he reels it back with a, “I MEAN NO BUT YES.” The delivery of the line is most certainly a teasing jest.

A casual line with a dash of shy, “Hm, maybe.” Sunghoon’s taken back his hands and his arms cross over his chest again, he needs a moment to regroup, although is still very much sitting on Heeseung’s torso.

“Oh thank god,” hands now freed, Heeseung clutches his hoodie right above his heart, beating in a frenzy. He rubs his chest as if it might help reduce the speed. “We’ve deescalated. Good.” He breathes a sigh of relief. _Oh god, this is almost too much. Almost._

Oh but it’s not over, Player 02 just needed a quick breather.

“Tonight?” Sunghoon says this, not moving from his seat (Heeseung’s abdominal muscles, now silicone carbide) with his arms still folded. He’s not making eye contact and he’s trying to hide a smile.

This shyness is far more terrifying than that previous act of aggression. “HOLY MOTHER.” Heeseung is worried that he might have a heart attack. He might die.

Sunghoon nods, he knows how to wrap this up, “When I do,” he runs his hand through his hair, finishing with that now intentional lick of his lips.

The terror! “Holy shit, we’re at WHEN?!” This all-consuming terror!

With a smile he shifts on his seat (someone’s abs— yes, we need to say that) and lifts his legs off the floor from a half kneel straddle to a seated cross legged position, with his entire weight on Heeseung’s body, as if he was just a part of the floor. He rests his hands on his own thighs and with his shoulders raised sings a familiar line casually, “It gon’ blow your mind.”

Heeseung’s hands are over his mouth and he is breathing in his own carbon monoxide, screaming on a cellular level. He says in a high pitch, “Mother. I’m scared,” a high pitched whisper scream

He starts to dance in his seat with familiar choreography from the waist up, “Blow your mi-i-i-i-ind,” just singing with an enormous smile.

“MOTHER OF GOD!!”

NK: “This is I&ncredibe.”

SN: “Literally, it is.”

JK: “And a cry for help.”

SN: “I am not mad at this. I live.”

Player 02 has definitely won this round. The score is tied at 1 - 1.

Laughing at the this panicking puddle of Hee below him, he rolls off like a rolypoly with his hands on his feet, “That’s right!” He’s a lot more jovial now because it feels good to win, “Pray!”

“I AM,” mathyung with his entire face in his hands, with burning of his ears cannot bear to look anything remotely sentient in the face. Oh he wants to die.

Sunghoon lays flat on his back on the kitchen floor. He’s probably an arm length away from Heeseung, but he doesn’t know and he doesn’t look. This is plenty close enough. “Just pray that I don’t snap,” he’s serious and his speech is back to normal.

“I will,” Heeseung is also back to his regular self, hands now laced on themselves over his chest, “every night I will.”

The younger boy’s eyes fall closed, “because when I snap—“and his words are a warning.

“Aaah!” Oh, the terror comes back. Oh it’s too much all over again, “What with the WHEN again!” Oh this is so much worse when he talks in his normal voice.

“—I will not stop,” there’s no aggression, just a statement of fact. Maybe there’s a shadow of a plea.

  
“Oh god, please help me,” hands fold up in a prayer, he might actually be praying. He actually is praying.

JK: “This. This is really hot. But also kind of sad. 

SN: “I am living for this, but I’m scared that I  
might actually be dead.”

NK: “I feel invisible right now, but maybe I want  
to be invisible?”

JK: “RIGHT?”

SN: “Like… Did we all die when Sunghoonie  
hyung poisoned us with milk tea?”

JK: “Oh what I’d give to be a young Harry Potter  
in his blanket right now.”

NK: “I love those movies! That Snape.  
He Snaps.”

SN: “Today is a fever dream that will not end…  
the day’s like a flipped carnival...”

JK: “Can we just let this happen? What is sanity  
if you can’t be in love?”

NK: “That’s so real. I feel that in my heart,  
hyung.”

SN: “...where up is down and down is up...”

JK: “I vote we turn a blind eye to this. Who’s  
with me?”

NK: “Blind eye to what, hyung?” (Niki winks  
aggressively)

SN: “... and life is mixed with death...”

JK: “Ya, Sunoo-ya! You going a keep quoting  
the Outro until creepy children start  
singing or are you in on this scheme?”

NK: “Yeah, baby let's go!”

Sunoo tears out of his daze. Blinking, blushing, offended but not gonna lie, he kind of really liked that comment. “Ah, fuck it. Lets go toss this comforter over them before we have to throw up a Parental Filter.” He shakes his head and waves a hand dismissively, “and then let’s go outside in the cold, try to wipe this from our memories with hypothermia. And then add a line item to the chore list about disinfecting the kitchen floor STAT.”

“How about, a no? Just try saying no sometimes.”

“Try saying no to Jake especially, quit enabling that lunatic!”

“Yeah. Have some respect. For yourselves and each other.”

“And that floor is _filthy!?_ We haven’t cleaned it since we moved in!”

“I’d say I’m disappointed but I didn’t expect much. At least nothing’s on fire.”

“By the way, you can hear everything in every room of this house. These walls are practically PAPER.”

“Our neighbors hate us. I’ve been getting spammed all day and night by the homeowners association email chain. I have to take a day off to speed read through so many paragraphs of text and craft an apology that sounds like I care. Maybe organize a meet and greet in the dead of COVID. And probably merch. Maybe a private performance, schedule permitting.”

“I think a performance should be enough and some signed Poloroids. Leave merch an ENGENE exclusive, but a definite fuck no to a meet and greet. That’s endangering everyone including staff we work with.”

“That’s sound. Plausible and actionable suggestions. Good job, Jay hyung, I’ll make note of that. Remind me tomorrow when we get to work smoothing this out.”

“Will do. I mean, thank god we’re cute. That’s the only thing keeping the board from kicking us out.”

“Oh and that bribe. I owe you for that Jay hyung. Big time.”

“Anything for you, Wonie. I’d throw everyone in here under a bus in a heartbeat.”

“I’d be on a bus going back home if it wasn’t for you.”

“I’d buy a whole bus just to drive you.”

“I’d tell you to pick a direction and drive if you did.”

“I’d drive us straight into the ocean if you wanted.”

“Take me there.”

“Under the sea?”

“찾아 헤맨 나의 Nemo” ( “chaj-a hemaen naui Nemo” )

Jay starts laughing, “Oh you almost made me sing! Ya! We can’t be that. We’re not these two dummies.”

“You’re not wrong.” Jungwon laughs, "But they're my dads. They're my dummies."

“Ah well, I guess everyone knows we’re here. We don’t have to sneak around to get water anymore.”

“Share a glass? I’ll go get it, keep filming." Jungwon's really good at pairing suggestions with instructions, "This is still funny and black mail material if it comes to that.”

The biting chill of a winter night makes it’s way indoors with a gust and everyone finds themselves without protective clothing. The Spa Day BrainTrust are freezing and hypothermia starts to set in, emotionally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😬 uhhhh 
> 
> i feel bad i put this up on xmas eve but also i don’t.


	13. Jungwon & Jay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungwon and Jay are home. No one is safe, emotionally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For a better life, drink more water and brush your teeth.

Jungwon rounds the kitchen counter, steps over Heeseung and Sunghoon holding hands on the floor. Their son stares down at them with a closed mouth smile, shaking his head in a teasing ‘no.’

“I’m glad you two figured it out, finally. That was getting tedious. I’m happy for you.” then he turns around to take a glass from the cupboard, fills it with water from the tap, "But that floor is gross. Jay hyung dropped a few eggs the other day on accident. We didn't disinfect."

Jake and Niki are frozen in mid-gathering of the heavy blanket (Parental Filter) with slack-jawed befuddlement. Sunoo starts to break into an open-mouthed smile. He might be broken now. On the floor, Heeseung and Sunghoon stare at the ceiling eyes watering at a lack of blinking since two additional voices started speaking.

“Wonie?” Heeseung finally says something, glued to the floor, “Since when?”

“A while. We’ve been home for a long time.” Jungwon’s all smiles, the same smile you’d give a small child who just walked straight into a glass panel. It’s kinda cute how they mess up like that.

“A really really long time,” Jay walks around the corner with his phone up filming, takes the glass from Jungwon, hands off his phone to continue focusing on the terrified boys on the floor and under the dining room table and drinks.

Sunoo crawls out from under the table, “Are you not mad?” He asks with a guilty grimace, “Are… are you two okay?”

“We’re fine but... well,” Jungwon breathes a heavy sigh, “I’m mad about the cheese and I’m upset about Jay’s father’s fedora but all in all, everything is essentially okay. We had a good day.”

Jake darts out of the table almost knocking over the bench, “The fuck?! You know about the fedora?? _AND_ the cheese? HOW.”

“Fuck you Shim Jake, I should kill you!” Jay lunges across the room, “That fedora means something to me!”

“OH SHIT.” Jake scurries, slides across the tabletop and runs down the hall with Jay trailing close.

“I’m upset about the fedora because Jay hyung’s furious about it, but I’m more upset about the cheese.” Jungwon ruffles his fluffy hair, still just shaking his head in disappointment, “I really wanted to have that cheese. All day, he’s been talking up this cheese.”

“Oh well I feel terrible about that,” Sunoo confesses, “I suggested cooking with the cheese.”

“YOU should feel terrible!” Jay stomps back in the kitchen dragging Jake under his pits in a headlock, “Sunoo-ya, I told you SPECIFICALLY not to touch that cheese!”

“What’s the big deal?” Sunoo raises his shoulders with his palms up, “It’s just cheese! I thought you were just being stingy.”

“Listen here. Come here, lean in.” Jay leans over to grab Sunoo by the the drawstring of his hoodie, still holding Jake in a headlock, “Not now, but later, after I give you the expensive souvenir you demanded I bring back home —and I don’t want you to do this before you open my present because I WANT you to feel horrible about how you’ve squandered that fucking cheese— find a soundproof room or a jar to scream in and Google _‘Long Clawson Dairy White Stilton Gold.’_ I’ll shoot you a text later to make SURE you don’t fuck up the spelling when you search for this LEGACY CHEESE. Could you promise me you do that for me? Promise me. Okay, BUDDY?!” he says buddy in a calm scream, then he pats Sunoo’s shoulder with a repressed anger and a large, uncomfortable smile.

Sunoo does not want to know how badly he’s just fucked up. When he eventually looks up the cheese he screams bloody, grateful to have followed Jay’s advice of ducking into a soundproof vocal rehearsal booth before hitting the search button.

“Jungwonie, how long HAVE you two been back?” Niki comes walking over, confused.

JayWon exchange knowing looks. They both put on a smirk. Jay passes the water back to Jungwon and he drinks.

“A really really long time.” Jay answers bluntly. He doesn’t expound on that point. “If you idiots haven’t noticed its 1:30 in the morning. You should’ve called the police if we weren’t back by now. Or I don’t know, maybe call us? I thought we were friends?!”

“Oh god, you’re right. I’m sorry!” Sunoo, “Oh but what the shit?! 1:30 in the morning?! We are SO fucked for tomorrow’s schedule!”

“Oh shit!” Heeseung snaps back into the present and is suddenly upright and on his feet, “We’ve got to be up in four hours?!”

“Not anymore. I called it off for everyone.” Jungwon leans on the counter, he’s tired. They did a lot too.

“Yeah, you’d all be dead RIGHT now if that was the case.” Jay follows suit by Jungwon, still dragging Jake who hangs limp by his side.

“Why?” Sunghoon asks, getting up off the floor with the help of Heeseung’s outstretched hand, “I thought we had a full day ahead.”

Jungwon resists the urge to lie, “I did some things I need to recover from. I’d be an idiot to try to stretch myself to work tomorrow. There’s always the day after and we can always reschedule.” he goes back to the sink to refill his glass, “You guys would be insane too to try to work today.”

Jay releases his hold on Jake, “Ugh thank you, sorry about your dad’s hat. We had... reasons. I had reasons.”

“We did it for fun.” Niki adds unhelpfully, smiling back at Jake who’s shooting him a look wrought with betrayal, ' _We_ ,' the clarification and the finger pointing back and forth between Jake and Niki makes the tension fade.

“Well... I’m tired.” Jungwon stops filming, that’s enough of that fun. “We got everyone souvenirs. We can talk about it some other time, but I’m about to crash. I’ve been up since 4:00 and I can’t... I can’t summon anymore fucks to give. That well is dry for the next few hours.” he staggers past Jay, bumping into his arm with his shoulder intentionally, turns back to the rest of the team and gives a weak wave goodbye, “Goodnight. I’m gonna go brush my teeth. I need to brush my teeth. I need clean teeth...”

"Let me join, I need clean teeth too," Niki links an arm with Jungwon, "and I can tell you about how I'm allowed to drop the 'hyung' around Sunoo now."

"Oh! Nice." Jungwon and Niki fist bump, "Did you try that thing we workshopped?" they walk arm in arm down the hall in hushed whispers.

"What the fuck?!" Sunoo's mind is ablaze with panic.

Heeseung gives Jay a pat on his arm, “Thanksfor taking care of him. He seems happy.”

Surprised at the acknowledgment Jay’s eyes soften and gives a toothy grin, running his hand through his lavander blonde, “Thanks Heeseungie hyung. I really tried,” his hand ends up on the back of his neck, looking down with a wistful smile.

They stay that way for a little bit, Heeseung’s hand still on his arm, “Aw! What the heck, come here. Hug me like my Jongseong used to! Bring it in, buddy.” his arms fly open.

Jay’s head lists up and shoots Sunghoon a grin, “This guy,” he points to Heeseung with his thumb, “Fucking ridiculous.” shaking his head he pushes off the counter and gives a hearty hug.

“Aww, that’s my Jongseong.” Heeseung hugs him tight, “Welcome home.”

With a heavy sigh out his nose Jay thinks about what he’s heard throughout the day. What he’s seen, what he knows, what he’s lived. He wonders how much he’ll say about his day, about anything for that matter. It’s okay, it can wait. For now this hug does feel like home as it was. Now it’s just a part of it, a room with its door wide open instead how it used to be, the entirety of it. Home. It’s clear there’s no urgency on either boy to make this a quick hug. It feels right. After such a long time it finally feels right. Jay moves his head a bit, through a curtain of blonde he sees Sunghoon watching, proud of this moment he helped recreate.

Without breaking the hug extends a hand, inviting another part of his home into the embrace.

Sunghoon flashes a grin, little vampire teeth glinting and his eyes soft crescents.

_This guy. Fucking ridiculous._

He joins in on the hug, draping his arms around both of them. The one he loves and his one-and-only best _actual_ friend.

On the periphery Jake walks back into the room. Like a puppy he perks up and starts to skip toward them with his arms open when Jay catches sight of him on the way.

“GET OUT!” Jay points right at Jake with a stiff, shaking finger. “NO! You don’t belong in this moment! NOT THIS FUCKING MOMENT. Goddamnit can I not have nice things with you Jakeing it up with your fucking Jakeness?!”

Jake pretends to look shocked, “I could cry!? I’m hurt! Hoon-ah, are you going to let him talk to me like that?”

“Yes.” Sunghoon doesn’t expound or look up from the hug.

And Jake might actually cry, “That’s cold!”

Sunoo strolls past everyone into the kitchen.With a heavy, knowing sigh he opens the freezer, picks up the half empty half pint of mint chocolate ice cream from earlier, grabs a spoon and silently pulls Jake by the hood of his hoodie out of the room.

“Thank you Sunoo-ya!” Jay calls out with a point to his counterpart.

Halfway down the hallway but within earshot he hears Sunoo yell back, “You owe me a date!”

“I’ll buy you dinner!” Jay yells back, still in the hug, “It’ll be fancy!”

“It better be!” Sunoo responds also in yell, “Take me shopping before we eat!”

“I will! Don’t take Niki!” Jay responds still yelling, still in the Hyung Line minus Jake hug, “No offense Niki! You’re great!”

“He's in bed!" Sunoo is halfway down the hallway still trying to make conversation across the dorm "MY BED! Also he doesn't mind!” There are certain words that need to be stressed in this conversation with a volume.

“Oh good!" Jay reciprocates the energy, volume-wise, "CONGRATS? I guess?!” his well-wishes are deserving of an extra boost of enthusiasm.

“Nothing's changed! But EVERYTHING'S CHANGED!" Sunoo's giddy energy requires amplification, "ALSO HE LOVES YOUR PRESENT!!” he is in through the bedroom door.

“JUNGWON PICKED THAT OUT. TELL HIM TO THANK HIM.” I mean, you just have to match the energy coming at you. It's just polite.

“I ADORE MY PRESENT TOO!!!” Sunoo screams this because he's never one to be called ungrateful.

Jay is proud to have been able to meet Sunoo's high expectations. “I KNEW YOU WOULD.” Meeting a fellow fancy lad's bar for presents is an honor deserving of this volume.

“YOU’RE THE BEST!” Sunoo expresses so much gratitude with a steady display of vocal fortitude.

“I KNOW." Jay does know, and of course this has to be yelled, "OH! MAKE SURE YOU KEEP JAKE AWAY FROM ME TONIGHT!” and this is a warning that should evade no one's ears because Jay is actually a lot more upset about his father's fedora than he's showing.

“HE WILL!" This is a promise Sunoo will fail to keep despite how much he means it at this amplitude, "HE KNOWS HE SHOULD IF HE WANTS TO LIVE BUT HE ALSO LOVES HIS PRESENT!! I THINK HE’S ASLEEP WITH IT!” He's been through so much with Jake today so of course he's a bit defensive and this yelling is a show of love and the only real thing Sunoo can do to soften Jay's heart. 

“GOOD! I’LL KILL HIM TOMORROW!” Jay's heart does soften a bit, so he'll say it loud and proud.

“OH MAYBE WE GO DO OUR THING TOMORROW, I CAN HELP WITH JAKE.” Sunoo is just so excited he's screaming this from his bed.

“SOUNDS GOOD! I’LL TEXT YOU!” Jay might've forgotten the position he's in during this entire conversation, but he must maintain this level of enthusiasm. 

Sunoo's a little appalled, “WE LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE!?” I mean why can't they just talk?

“IT’LL BE EASIER TO ADD THE AGENDA TO THE CALENDAR APP IF WE TEXT.” Oh but Jay does have a point and its for everyone's benefit that they learn this protip for future plans.

“GOOD THINKING!! YOU’RE AWESOME JAY HYUNG!!!” Niki's so used to this by now, he can sleep with this going on right in his ear while Sunoo eats ice cream and has a conversation across the house from his bunk.

“YOU TOO! BRUSH YOUR TEETH BEFORE BED!!!” Jay's a good hyung, everyone in this neighborhood could use this friendly reminder because clean teeth before bed is a must.

“I WILL!! I LOVE YOU JAY HYUNG!” Sunoo means this with all his heart and every membrane in his lungs.

“DON’T DO THAT!" Aww, Jay's embarrassed. Its kind of amazing how you can hear that energy in a yell, "THOSE WORDS AREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE YELLED THROUGH A HALLWAY!!”

“NEITHER IS THIS ENTIRE CONVERSATION TO BE FAIR!!!”

“Oh, good point.” Jay finally starts talking at a regular volume.

Heeseung and Sunghoon are giggling into all the shoulders present, being screamed over in full volume within extremely close proximity. This is Jay and they don’t mind that. However, later in the silence they'll hear a ringing in their ear. A relentless high pitched ringing that lingers for days.

“Jongseong, my arms are getting tired and I’m sleepy, mind if we break so I can brush my teeth and crash?” Heeseung says, with one of his ears ringing.

“In a minute.” Jay has his head tucked between Sunghoon and Heeseung’s head, “Give me a minute.” he sighs into a shoulder, “I just want to say something I only want you two to hear.”

“We’re listening, Jay-ah,” Sunghoon reaches a hand up to brush through his blonde hair.

“You guys are cute. I respect you both.” Jay starts with a measured tone, “Keep it cute, but don’t get too gross. You’re both… nice looking. Just dress better Heeseung, especially if you’re gonna stand next to Sunghoon a lot. You look like a fucking time traveller sometimes in these selcas. Legit, everyone’s outfit but yours changes and they’re days and weeks apart. Don’t… don’t do that to Hoon-ah. I’ve done too much work on his wardrobe to try to get his proportions to stand out like it should. Let me take a crack at your sad collection of comfort clothing and beanies. I'll come up with something that matches your visual potential.”

“Oh Jongseong,” Heeseung is deeply touched, he feels the compliment and sees the kindness hidden behind the wall of diss Jay’s thrown up, “That’s so sweet! You don’t have to do that. But I’d love for you to dress me. Aww jeez, Jongseong.”

“I never have to do things like that, but I do because I want to.” Jay tightens his hold just a little bit, he’s ready to say something he’s held onto for a while. In the hug he opens his eyes and wraps his hands behind each boy’s head. He says what he means exactly the way he says it. “Hoon-ah, I’m glad you won. I learned something from that loss and I found something that fits so much better for me. Take care of him. He needs it.” and then a swallow.

It’s time for Jay to come clean, “I heard you know. I don’t want to talk about it anymore, that’s behind me. I want to keep walking forward, I hope you stay walking with me. I’m sorry." his voice grows soft, a little whine of emotion starts to well, "I just didn’t know how to come back around here for a while... and I didn’t want to cry anymore about you.”

Heeseung leans his head on Jay’s and he hold the back of his head, closing his eyes, “I’m sorry Jongseong. I’m sorry I couldn’t be a source of comfort but... I’m really glad you’re where you are. Stay by my side, please,” he starts to tear up, “I missed you. I _really_ missed you. Please don’t push me away again if you can help it... and I fucking love this hoodie. I treasure it.”

“Aw! Hyung! Don’t cry! Ugh you had to push it over the top with that last detail too,” Jay, already emotional, really starts to feel it at the hoodie comment, “Damnit, this is why it’d never work with us, we’d just end up crying all the time.” he does start to cry, but Jay is quick to tears. His heart is just that soft.

“Well... I don’t know if this helps but it’s not that much better with us,” Sunghoon starts chucking into the hug, “I can’t tell you how much we’ve cried already. Today.”

“Ugh!” Jay pulls out of the hug, face and eyes already red, wiping away tears. “Heeseungie hyung, for what it’s worth, thanks.” he runs his hand through blonde again, trying to regain composure. He has one more point to add, it just needs to be said. “Also, I like Wonie. I really do. He’s special and... he’s a bad boy. A really bad boy and I like bad boys. You’re just too fucking soft like me.”

“Bad boy?” Heeseung’s a little thrown off by that comment, “What are you saying about my son? He’s a fucking angel!” he’s drying his tears with the inside of his hoodie, this garment _Made by that disrespectful cad Jay_

“Whaaaaat.” Sunghoon breathes that word with an open grin, “I want to ask but that is also my son.”

“Did... Did you touch my son!?” horrified by unfounded assumptions Heeseung goes on the offensive, “DON’T TOUCH MY SON.”

“Jay hyung, did you have to say that?” in a familiar pair of pajamas, mostly white with large beige panels on the bottoms of the blouse and pants, Jungwon teeters out to meet his nuclear family in the kitchen. He slumps over the kitchen island on his elbows, forearms down, “You know how crazy protective he gets. Do better.”

“Son! You okay?”

“Mm-hm,” he rubs his eyes a sleepy boy, “I just came to get Jay hyung. We’re tired.”

“Oh?” Sunghoon tries to keep his curiosity under wraps, “What’d you guys get up to today? I mean, yesterday.” Jesus christ they’re still up.

Their group leader, they’re most responsible, most reliable, most rule-abiding team member’s mouth flies open, and his hand reflexively covers his mouth. A brief realization triggers that reaction and for a split second that move looked like a tell to signify embarrassment.

Jay’s eyebrows fly up and creases start to form on his forehead. He has no idea what Jungwon is willing to share.

“Crimes.” an unapologetic smile forms on his innocent face, “We had an adventure. A big adventure.”

“Oooh. That kinda bad boy. Here I thought—” Sunghoon adds unhelpfully.

“Dumb shit like that is why you—“ Jay nopes out of that questionable line of conversation, “I’m gonna go brush my teeth and change for bed time,” he walks off as if he could outpace a thought from his mind.

Sunghoon’s eyes follow him out as he rounds the refrigerator corner down the hall. Jay’s moods are transparent like Heeseung’s but Jay is an odd bird. It’s fun to fuck with the brilliant odd bird with a pure heart who doesn’t relent. His one-and-only best _actual_ friend. He doesn’t pretend to understand Jay but knows that he knows Jay well. He can read him like a book albeit written by a concussed author. While the narration might be unreliable, the words are poetry and he knows the author has a good heart. He’s just a little concussed.

Heeseung puts a hand to Jungwon’s shoulder and gives him a nod and a grin, “Did you have fun?” he can tell by the exhausted smile on the younger boy’s face that he’s tuckered out in the best possible way. He knows by that face that things are better now.

“So much.” Jungwon looks up at Heeseung with a drowsy satisfaction, “It was legend,” he chuckles soft from his nose, “Oh I got a housewarming gift for everyone too. Let me go bring it out to the kitchen for us to use at some point.” he walks away and into the walk-in closet.

Jungwon comes back with a small but expensive looking paper bag in orange with a thick blue ribbon handle. Tucked underneath delicate translucent tissue with a repeating pattern is the said housewarming gift. Sunghoon’s just boujee enough to realize that pattern’s name: _Damier Ebène_. He realizes he’s been so drowsy he didn’t clock the name on the bag.

“I got us a candle,” Yang Garden pulls out an unassuming glass container, “it smells like cigars.”

Sunghoon doesn’t know if it’s the onset of sleep depravity, the recent moral depravity, the emotional trauma he’s lived through Spa Day or if something huge and insanely random happened in Jay and Jungwon’s day out. Heeseung isn’t even a fraction as familiar with high fashion brands but he knows what that is. He’s 21 in Korean years in the entertainment industry, he should be prone under a rock if he doesn’t recognize the clout implied by a _Louis Vuitton_ candle. In CIGAR? How is that remotely appropriate for a squad of young dancing boys? His mind races with questions he wants so much to ask.

What would possess this sensible, gregarious, rule abiding, even tempered child to buy a _Louis Vuitton_ candle that smells like cigars? And why is he smiling like this makes sense?

Jungwon just gives a sleepy smile and looks pleased with himself as if he’s just done something a normal person would do.

“Alright, I’m out hyungs.” this little boy grows sleepier by the minute. His parents round the kitchen island to give him side hugs. He’s breathing so slow, it looks like he might drift off standing in the kitchen.

They’ll have to bench these questions for next time. Yang-deo needs his rest.

“Oh, wait...” Jungwon breaks out of the side hug and shuffles to grab the glass him and Jay were sipping water out of earlier and he fills the glass.

From the hall they hear a shy call, “Jungwonie?” It’s Jake with his paws on the corner of the refrigerator door. What is he doing up still? “Hey, I just wanted to let you know that we’ve got a big ass bottle of alkaline water in the fridge if you wanna take that to bed.”

“Oh really? Oh that makes my life so much easier. Thanks Jake hyung!” he finishes off his glass and places it in the sink, moving to travel to the refrigerator.

“You got it buddy, good night!” and Jake pretends to walk away, once in the shadow he flails his arms up in a frenzy.

Heeseung gives Sunghoon a quick back hand swat on the arm to get his attention. They share a look, they don’t know what that look says but their eyes are wide. Their eyes dart to Jake, whose been trying to catch their eyes from the dark of the hallway, doing his best to not be noticed. When Jungwon opens the refrigerator door Jake leans forward into the light and he mouths two words that leave them both in a state of horror.

“WOULD you kindly get the FUCK out my way Jaketopher?” Jay gives a modulated bark, “I don’t know and I do not care what you’re doing right now but I almost walked into your dumb ass and I am still very cross about my father’s fedora, PLEASE and thank you, kindly get out of my way before I lose control of my _anger_.”

Jake, frozen, looks back only to get stared down by a Jay who’s eyes are mostly white and armed with daggers. “Oh! Jay-ah! HAha uh,” temporarily stunned, Jake does what he knows to do best and reach for sincerity, “Hey, I wanted to say thanks for my gift! Can... I give you a hug? I actually really really needed that... I’m genuinely touched.” Scratch that, _deflect_ with sincerity. Even if that wasn’t his reason for coming back out of the bed room (he also forgot to brush his teeth, a yikes) he really does want to give Jay a hug.

He doesn’t know how but JayWon got him a perfect gift: A life sized labrador retriever plush in the same golden hue as his dear sweet Lyla. The reason why he ended up in bed for a while when he saw the gift was he was overwhelmed... touched by how much this meant to him. He actually needed this in his life and it brought him to tears. He spent so many minutes trying to collect himself to thank Jay. He knows that was Jay because of the letter he received. He sobbed even harder after getting through what he read.

Up close Jay sees that he did cry. He knows that face because game recognizes game, and Jay and Jake are crybaby sweethearts.

“Make it quick.” Jay relents, “Give me some time to be mad and we’ll try this again tomorrow.”

“Thank you Jay-ah.” Jake resists the urge to cry again, “I’ll be back to try again tomorrow. Good night.”

“That was kind of sweet.” Jungwon watches, leaning on the side of the refrigerator with a bottle of water dangling by his side. “Night Ja _k_ e.” he says that with out a vocal tell, but a quick show of teeth say everything, even if it was a smile. 

Jake swears he heard the 'k' in his name just a little too clearly. "Oh. Okay?" he tries to process this look that only he can see. Its a look that scares him. It tells him to back the fuck off. "Night guys, Jake out." Or else.

“You ready to go to sleep?” Jay walks past a retreating Jake who’s off to the bedroom. He has a bundle of fabric in his arms, a comforter, some pillows and an extra blanket.

“Yeah. Let’s go.” Jungwon takes a top layer of pillows from Jay, tucking his water bottle under his arm, “Night guys, close the kitchen lights when you’re done in there. Don’t run the power bill up if we don’t have to.”

The combination of confusion, increasingly questionable circumstances and this barely coherent sequence of events weigh on Sunghoon and Heeseung.

“Yeah, sure but...” one of them has to ask and that task falls on Jungwon’s primary dad, “The bedroom's that way. Where are you two off to?”

Jay and Jungwon turn around, away from their destination to address the question. One of them has to answer and so the task falls on Jungwon to address his father.

“The closet. We’re going back in the closet.” Jungwon doesn’t wear an expression other than drowsy.

“Yeah, sleep over in the closet JayWon style.” Jay adds also with zero tonal inflection, “Peace.”

They turn around and enter the walk in closet like it’s a thing that people just do and close the door behind them leaving Heeseung and Sunghoon terribly, morbidly, disturbingly curious and confused. They exchange glances again, there’s something unsettling about all of this but… somehow… this seems okay? It feels right and it’s not on them to know why. They'll lie awake for a few minutes wondering if they do want to know why. I mean... this parent thing is just a metaphor right?

They’re about to walk away to shut off the lights and get ready for bed when suddenly the door to the walk-in closet opens and Jungwon’s fluffy head of hair pops through the door.

“Heeseung hyung, Sunghoon hyung,” he calls out softly with a serious look. His are eyebrows furrowed and his mouth small. He tries to parse the words in his mind, he wants to speak as deliberately as he can, leaving little room to invite question. That’s what he thinks when he starts putting together what he’d like to say.

“I get it. What ever that was and I’m okay with all of it. For my sake, just don’t get us in too much trouble. Or try. Just try not to. I…” he clutches the doorframe and breathes in, “I have to be the one on the frontlines cleaning up any mess we make and it’s hard already. Besides it being a hassle, I really don’t care what you do.” his lips curl slightly into a weary, weighted smile and his voice becomes a clear plea, “Please hyungs, don’t take this the wrong way because I’m relieved, really I am. I want you two to _be happy_ for me and be happy _for me._ ” and then he smiles. “… and keep looking out for me.”

There was something in that look, something they all haven’t seen recently especially since taking on the mantle of leader. A vulnerable Jungwon who admits to being a tired child, stressed-out, overwhelmed with concern, conflicted between the desire to be happy, see his friends happy AND knowing the right thing to do as the designated razor’s edge of the group. Maybe now he won’t feel so weak to admit when he isn’t strong. Maybe he won’t keep as many secrets this time.

“Wonie. Of course.” At that moment Heeseung realizes that the fear and anxiety they felt for Jungwon and Jay’s relationship cut both ways. “You wanna hug it out with me and Hoonie?”

Sunghoon shoots Heeseung a look. _Really? Another hug?_ But he just shrugs his shoulders and puts his palms up, a silly little gesture to show that he’s game, “Get in here, son.”

“Yeah. Okay.” Jungwon steps out of the door and his head lilts to one side a little too quickly. “Also, I’m drunk.”

“Whaaaat?” Heeseung with his arms out freezes in position with a huge open mouthed grin, “You drank today too?” Suddenly the garishly expensive cigar scented candle makes sense.

Jungwon sputters a lazy laugh, “Too?! Fucking shit,” he folds into the hug, “my dad’s an idiot.”

“An idiot like his son,” Jay comes out of the closet with a knowing smirk, the door to the walk-in now fully open with a little makeshift bed of comforters and pillows on the floor. He has a few things in his hand, “Wonie, you forgot about these.”

He hands a two small sheets of paper to Jungwon who sputters out of the hug, with an out of it look and quickly shakes his shoulders, “Ah! Our presents. Do you want to go first, Jay hyung?”

“Sure. Mine’s quick,” Jay has two small boxes in his hand, two black boxes emblazoned with a logo in gold foil print. He hands one to Sunghoon and one to Heeseung. He pawns it off like he were handing off a box of chocolates, but they’re not. These are jewelry boxes with a clear aura of chic, just the feel of the outside material, this well crafted, pristinely constructed, weighted cardboard material _FEELS_ intimidating

“WOW. What the fuck!?” Heeseung’s reaction is completely appropriate because in his hand he holds a box with a recognizably _EXPENSIVE_ logo that someone like Heeseung who does not know fashion like that understands that he’s just been handed a gift that likely costs more than the cavalier gesture of the hand off made it seem. He wonders if Jay should’ve gifted these on bended knee.

“Jay ah, I know you’re made of money, but… _Yves Saint Laurent?_ Are you serious? Are… Are you proposing?” Sunghoon's teasing and he definitely did imagine what Heeseung was thinking correctly. Of course he knows this is exactly the reaction Jay was trying to get. Sunghoon most definitely has a better understanding than Heeseung of the value of this casual gift. This _is_ a disproportionately lavish expense for a souvenir from a single day off in the city. However, he also knows that there’s a deep meaning woven into the cost of these items. Jay is a fancy boy and he is expensive, but doesn’t throw his money around or the privilege he was born into. It’s not like Jay to just be bad and boujee for what.

Jay gives a look, a clear _Shut the fuck up Park Sunghoon,_ he says this with a dead expression, a few quick blinks and a microscopic shaking of his head. He holds the look a few seconds shy of uncomfortably long to make sure the point gets across. As always, he rises above the bullshit to get his point across but he does give just enough of a death glare to make sure it’s understood that the chide has been heard.

“I don’t need you to open it now just ask me about it sometime, I’ll tell you why I chose what I did aside from thinking that they’d look good on you. My reasons mean a lot to me like you two do,” he gives them both a distant pat on the shoulder at the same time and steps aside for Jungwon to give his gifts.

Bobbing his head side to side with a grin, eyes smiling, cheeks fluffy, Jungwon hands Heeseung and Sunghoon two pieces of paper, holding them delicately, printed side down. They take the paper, each one of them with both their hands like a business card exchange. Without flipping them over, at the touch of the printed gloss they muster a guess as to what it is. They’re right. But how?

“These are for you. You get one each and you can swap if you want, but I think they’re both very pretty.” Jungwon just handed them a set of printed photographs. Its not printed merch, its not even the sort of duplication process used for headshots to frame. These are are straight from a personal collection.

Sunghoon’s eyes start to water. He’s overwhelmed, just overcome with so many emotions. Gratitude, wonder, awe and just a breathtaking wash of inexplicable joy. “Oh my god. Wonie… These…?” his words shake like his soul’s been shook by the masterpiece captured on printed paper.

He holds in hands something special, something incredible, something that would blow ENGENEs mind and any one with human eyes for that matter. In his hand he holds Art, with a capital letter, actual Art. DUSK— deep reds, stark whites and the darkest ebony and two figures, not even touching, not even close. Just a portrait of two beautiful people in profile, a dance of light and shadow making every striking feature a killing blow. Between them a look so smoldering, so intense, so clearly drenched in longing and passion. They’re not even looking right at each other, just slightly beyond each other’s gaze. It’s bold and shy and its intimate without being in each other’s direct space. There’s a fire in this piece, it is the feeling, the energy, the game of push and pull— photographic evidence of a truth they both know. It is what it is and its just so beautiful.

He looks over at Heeseung who’s already streaming tears, but he’s smiling. Its in the top three happiest smiles he’s had since waking, and today’s been such an amazing day. A top three is _huge_ for Spa Day.

“Hoonie,” he’s in so much disbelief. “We’re…” his hand cups his mouth, just feeling the wave of emotion brought about the sight of them, DAWN in his hand. "We ARE beautiful together." a smile of relief for the enth time. Heeseung feels more confident in who he is and in who he loves. They're on their way there to the future they both wanted for each other together and he actually believes that, in his heart he believes this to be the utmost truth. "Jungwonie, thank you SO much."

“It’s you. It’s you two,” his tranquil smile glows with a feeling of pride, like the satisfaction of a good deed done right, “I think they robbed everyone of a good thing, but I get it. If that series made it to the final cut, the team photos wouldn’t shine as bright as it should. But that’s okay. At least the people who need to see it have it,” his lips go inward, another tell that Jungwon is thinking.

"Where did you get these?" Sunghoon asks, "I thought these were gone."

At that question Jungwon's thoughtful look morphs into a twisted grin. That sweet face with his lip curled, eyebrow cocked at a devilish angle and a little showing of teeth he says with a chilling pride, “I stole it. I committed crimes today and taking that started the ball rolling. It felt good. I wanted to do more, so I did. With Jay-ah at my side. We got away with **_a lot_** of crime.”

“… Jay-ah?” Sunghoon clocks the change in nomenclature, still slowly registering the rest of the details. He decides to address the easiest subject and honestly, its not an easy subject judging from how much grab-ass everyone played trying to tackle the issue.

Jay’s mouth is a lowercase v and his neck is bent at an acute angle. He has his arms crossed again on his chest with a tension with his shoulders up at a slight but noticeable angle. His eyes are looking somewhere low to the ground, somewhere down and to the far left. Maybe he makes eye contact with a baseboard and maybe it says something with its eyes. That’s a bit ridiculous of a mental image but it seems that way because he seems to be fighting the urge to break out into a knowing look. If you look at him closely, at his hair specifically, you can see him bobbing up and down at half-pica increments like a hummingbird.

Sunghoon’s mouth flies open. If he wasn’t leaking happy tears and holding the one of two of the most beautiful pieces of Art in modern history right now his hands would’ve certainly flown up to his face. He could’ve done an _Ed Munch Scream_ but he has sense. He reads Jay completely, somehow he understands exactly what this is and no— he does NOT mean for anyone to see this. Not yet at least.

“Yeah, Jay-ah and I,” Cute little Jungwon still wears that same pride, that look of a villain who owns his maleficence, “We had a legendary day.” Its not what he says but how he says it and that bold, unmistakable swagger in which he says it that brings the message across.

_Oh my god. Jungwon!!!!_

Still not looking anyone in the eye, Jay eyelids sink into a deep, deep blink to center himself to move all this along. “Wonie, Let’s go. We gotta crash.” Jay tugs at the back of Jungwon’s pajama top, definitely with a blush. That’s why he has to go. He gets that now. It takes him a while, but when he does, he gets it, he never forgets it and he acts on it. “Back in the closet we go.”

The young boy nods, still a little demon, the cutest sweetest face and a shocking penchant for mischief.“Back in the closet it is. Night. I’m gonna go sleep with Jay-ah.” He puts two fingers to his right eye. It's the only way Jungwon knows how to wink. He turns back toward the closet and passes Jay, very clearly tilting his head upward to face him as to deliver a fatal sneer then walks right in, closing the door halfway.

Jay's eyes fly open blinking rapidly, looking up and to the left, his face definitely in a smile. He stands there for a while biting his bottom lip, head tilted downward, rotated at a noticeable angle still with his arms crossed in that tense energy. It's clear that like the rest of the Spa Day Boys, Jay too has lost more than a few braincells that day. 

"Hey... you okay buddy?" Heeseung asks with a different sort of Top 3 Tier smile, "Are you gonna be okay?"

"Nope." Jay answers quickly. Too quickly. Also smiling now with his tongue in his teeth. Is he trying not to laugh? Is he trying not to freak out? Inquiring minds want to know.

"Um... well?" Sunghoon searches for something to say something appropriate, but also really wants to fuck with the odd bird because that's just fun. "Be gentle?"

Jay's nose scrunches up and so does his mouth. Is he trying not to laugh? Why is he blushing? Is he blushing? Is he angry. Why is head steadily rotating at a weirder angle? Why won't he move?

Finally some words, "He won't let me." and then a large gulp.

"O shit son!" Heeseung meant to think that, but it came out anyway. 

Sunghoon almost thew his photograph into his mouth, "Oh boy! Ja-"

"DON'T. Don't say my name. You are not allowed to say my name. Not now"

"OH SHIT! Ah! Jongseong!"

"Why does he get to say your name?" Oh Sunghoon knows, he just wants to keep fucking with Jay, alright?

Jay at this point is only looking at people's knees, blinking like it helps him, emotionally, and he's lost control of the shapes his mouth is making. He goes from grimace to smile to just teeth... just teeth hanging out, being teeth, saying hey look at me, I'm teeth and his nose kinda dances. Is he scared to go back in? Does he like being scared? Is this something Heeseung, Niki and Jake can vibe with? Will they ever find out? Is he going to say something? Why is it already 2:30 in the morning? Where did the time go?

"Hey! What the fuck Jay-ah?" Jungwon's head pops back out the closet with a foreboding 'don't cross me' kinda shake of the head. "You gonna keep flirting with my parents til I drag you back in or what."

Heeseung is screaming on a cellular level! HIS SON IS A BOSS! The PRIDE! 

"Yup, I'm out." Jay does an about face and walks back in the closet, "Peace."

The door shuts and now its just Lee Heeseung and Sunghoon, stood in the kitchen, thinking.

They don't see Jay's face when he leaves but there's a change in what they read in Jungwon's expression. That fucked up cruelty in his delivery to return to the closet switches back to this sweet sort of 'ah you idiot' kinda smile, but there's more. It's playful, it's sweet, it's intense, it's scared and it's scary. It's everything all at once and it's altogether beautiful.

Game recognizes game, always. It's funny how after all the things Heeseung and Sunghoon have lived through this day and all the different expressions they've seen in each other's eyes... they see it. They see things in other people because of what they've seen in each other, through the games they play, the tears and the laughter. The intensity of it all, the things we do to the people we connect with deeply and the change in their eyes as you make them laugh and cry and scream and tease to the edge of sanity. The everything that love does and is.

... and of course, for some reason they both think of Jake and how maybe there's something to what makes Jake know things. Now they know things because they've seen things and they've lived through things. Will there come a time when they read the world with that same soft focus and that same rose tinted vision? They don't know why they think of Jake when Sunoo and Niki shared this exact same day with them. Maybe one day they'll think about it more. Maybe. Probably maybe. At the very least they'll think about why of all people it's Jake.

* * *

Follow Jungwon & Jay’s Legendary Adventure at **[0204’s Day Off](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28109868/chapters/68873043)** and/or read about how Heeseung & Sunghoon take 30 minutes to [ **brush their teeth** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28358004)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imagine having to read chapter 10, 11, 12 & 13 in one sitting. And then imagine reading chapter 14 after that. I... I hurt someone, deeply with that mistake and I may be responsible for emotional trauma???
> 
> Thank you again kylisungs. I don't want to hurt people with so much brain fries 🍟 but THESE HANDS THEY BELONG TO THE DEVIL 😭


	14. EPILOGUE: Whisper Screams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spa Day ends not with a bang but with whisper screams.

No words are exchanged, even as they enter the bedroom Heeseung can only hold Sunghoon’s hand. A silent agreement is made to share a bunk, they pick Heeseung’s. The room is shrouded in darkness and its quiet, finally. There are a few things they can assume to be true, that Niki’s in a bunk with Sunoo and that Jake is sleeping with a gift from JayWon. They should be too, cuddling at least but that early morning at 3:00 in they lay awake, haunted by echoes of cognitive dissonance. An odd reversal of events from Sunghoon’s twenty-four hours ago when he found Jay standing outside on the balcony.

“What did you see Jake say?” Sunghoon laying flat on the mattress by the wall, cuts through the silence, reaching for some sort of validation.

“I’m not too sure. Some things fell into place when I read his mouth,” Heeseung’s soft-spoken tone embodies his uncertainty, “but still, it makes very little sense. A lot of little facts just aren’t connecting.”

“I know… I’m dying of curiosity,” he breathes the line, somber but perturbed.

“I’m dead with curiosity,” the older boy rolls his head to make slight contact with the person next to him, “I hope I sleep tonight,” he squeezes the hand in his. He’s disturbed once again and seeks to find some peace. The hand helps a lot.

“Will you say it?” the younger boy leans his head to his left, pressing his head on the older boy’s. He can feel a little more of who he is in this slight gesture, this trivial touch. “If I count us down will you say what you think Jake said?” He doesn’t really want to to talk, he just wants this moment to linger. This day has been a dream and he knows that anything imagination in sleep concocts in his mind moving forward will pale to the memory of _everything_ this Spa Day.

Heeseung smiles in the dark. He closes his eyes, appreciating how calm he grows to feel as Sunghoon’s voice reverberates from that point of contact. There’s nothing like it. “— what Jake implied,” the reply is droning. His grip on needing to know what might not be for him to know loosens. He realizes that he only wants the conversation to keep going to hear that voice again, that breathy murmur pouring into his being through the gentle vibrations on his skull.

“Oh but this was no mere implication,” a third voice begins to narrate, “Jake might be a fool in rose-tinted glasses, but there are some things that Jake just _knows_ and some things he’s just _right_ about. Jake sees something and he calls it out, that’s what Jake does. He calls out things he knows because he _knows_ things. Jake _knows_ because he’s _lived through_ things. Jake sees himself in others and in moments nostalgic, he can’t help but stop to acknowledge every detail.”

The voice is foreboding, as if performing a dramatic reading. His intonation is flawless, his tone smooth like velvet. To no one’s prompt he continues to weave, “Jake _knows_ that look, that staggered stare, those little gestures. Jake sees through Jungwon’s well-crafted facade, despite his baby-smooth, skilled execution and his unparalleled mastery of self-awareness there are just some things you can’t hide because game will ALWAYS recognize game... Hi, it’s me. I’m Jake.”

“Wow.” Heeseung’s eyes snap open, broken out of that delicate intimacy, “I am so uncomfortable with how many times you just spoke your own name in third person SO close to my face.” His eye might be twitching, but no one knows because no one can see.

“Well shit, I’ve got to be this close to talk!” Jake’s voice is low in a hurried whisper. “JayWon’s in the house. I’ve tested fate too many times. I’d like to see one last sun rise.”

“You are talking into my cheek with a moisture to your voice that I do not want to acknowledge but I must.” Heeseung’s grip on Sunghoon’s hand tightens, shaking, fighting the urge to turn to violence, “Which might be fine possibly maybe in some scenarios but I draw the line at open narration. You sound like you’re dead.”

“Just inside, Heeseungie Hyung.” Jake just read that vibe in Braille in that he felt that, read that and all without being able to see, “I’m a little dead inside.” He feels bad, but not really. This is probably just going to push Heeseung to do something stupid and possibly sexy later or some time in the not too distant future.

In a weird way, he’s proud to be that guy who frustrates his best friend’s cowardly significant person into bold, italic romantic expressions. He makes mental notes on this frequently, documenting his process as his best friend is a delicate font deserving of special treatment. He is for all intents and purposes, this relationship’s unsung typographer.

“I draw the line at hearing you say your own name too many times in a row this close to my... _things_ … in the dark while I assume to be alone in bed with someone who I… is my thing. He’s my thing.” Sunghoon is also in a state of shock. The audacity of this dog to shake him out of a dream. It’s like changing the channel in the middle of a tender moment in a long-suffering kdrama to a garishly drawn pre-K cartoon. “Also, I don’t how you’re doing it but I think some of your breath is hitting parts of my neck while there’s an entire human being between us in complete darkness.”

As always, his delivery is a lot calmer than the storm brewing beneath his skin. He is seething with so many shades of frustration that he has to grip the hand in his like a vice to stop himself from popping the fuck off, “Right now, I am holding his hand, under these sheets. And his toes are playing with my feet. I’m already teetering on the brink of fucked up—“

“I draw the line at hearing you draw YOUR line, all the words you’ve reached for to define the line, and the overall curvature of your linear trajectory.” a fourth voice, a welcome addition to this faceless Greek chorus after dark. This time a voice of reason. “In addition to that, I would like take a permanent marker with a wide chisel tip and draw an even thicker line on any attempt you make to continue to draw your line, father.”

“Oh Sunoo-ya,” the sound of a back pat, “I didn’t see you there.”

“Yeah. It’s pitch black. Of fucking course,” the response is detached and factual with an undertone of annoyance.

“Hey dad,” and fifth voice to no one’s surprise. Where there’s that fourth, so trails this fifth and vice versa, “I’m here too.”

“Niki! My boy. Of course you are. I’d give you a hug if I could see where you were. Where you at, son?”

“Oh, I’ll take that hug! Let me walk over to the sound of your voice,” footsteps and then a sudden stop, “What’s that on the floor?”

“Oh? JESUS CHRIST!” Jake no longer sounds like he’s in front of Heeseung’s face. His voice is still a whisper, a frantic one and as most whispers go on Spa Day Night, it develops into a whisper scream, “What IS IT? Why is it moving??”

“Sh.” Sunoo breathes hurried shush, “Not so loud.”

“Wait, what’s on the floor?” A mattress creaks, “OOH NOO WHAT,” raw fear in a hush, then a shuffle of fabric.

“Heeseungie!” the voice sounds muffled by a layer of plush, “Get—!” the soft voice turns from hash to a mellow, “fuck it. Stay.”

“OH WHY does it FOLLOW?” feet pitter-patter in a frenzy and then the clear sound of a bang against presumably a bunk bed frame.

Sunoo laughs through his nose, “Hyung, it’s your toes.”

The mattress creaks again and a quiet, breathy laugh escapes Sunghoon, “Thanks for reminding me of that. I almost forgot. Jake, I put on a layer of glow-in-the-dark gloss on your toes.”

“YOU MONSTER. We’re supposed to be friends?!”

“That was a gift for both of us.” it sounds like Sunoo gets an uncoordinated low energy high-five, “I saw the toes come down the bunk and I followed to see what bullshit Jake was up to.”

“Ddeonu, you look out for us. I appreciate that care.”

“I think I want that for myself.” this whisper is distinctly Niki, “Glow toes.”

“Wow. That’s actually pretty cool.” another fabric shuffle, “I didn’t know nail polish could be that fun.”

“Oh my back _and_ heart, but yeah me too.” Sounds like Jake makes his way back to where he was at the start of whisper hour, “I learned that today. Like who knew they could make feet paint smell like— OW JESUS,” he responds to a clear open hand slap to the back of a skull.

“I draw the line on everything you are in the dark.”

“Jake... could you not scream right into my ear canal? I’ve already got a ringing in my other ear from Jongseong and I have a career in music. I don’t want to know what Beethoven lived through.”

“Heeseungie hyung, if you’re down wanna paint toes while Sunoo’s out?”

“Yes! Ooh mathyung maknae time!”

“Yeah, Jake STANS Global!”

Someone in the room groans in an audible cringe.

“Oh that’s good. We’ll make the day a membership exclusive. You want in Jake?

“Uh... I’ll pass. I need some me time. Outdoors? Or maybe read a book. My vocabulary kind of sucks and this day nails that point” Jake can be such a forward, self-aware idiot but on the other side of the coin is this admirable purity and a persistent desire to improve himself.

“Smart move Jakey. We’d all get sick of steak if we ate it everyday.”

“Thank you Sunghoon-ah, I _am_ a beef cake.” He just can’t help being Jake.

“You _are_ dead meat.”

Heeseung huffs, a little exacerbated, “Hoonie, could you refrain from talking to Jake about Jake with metaphor while you’re—“

“Hyung, I will smother you with a pillow if you say anything more. I _will_ make an orphan your son.”

“Literally was just gonna say ‘holding my hand’ but you’ve got some issues Ddeonu.”

An offended scoff in the dark, “Yes, but issues make me brilliant and I accept myself. I’m a creative individual blessed with the curse of a vivid imagination.”

“That’s beautiful, babe.” His number one fan is quick to underline his wit.

“NO.” Sunoo goes from brief agitation to a plea, “Don’t call me that in the dark please.”

“Think I might try to hang with Jungwon. Been a while since we have and I have questions. His hair looked cute today and I think I smelled my shampoo on him? I’m cool with sharing with him if he’s into pulling off that look more often. There’s a nice discount I can get if I start buying it in bulk.” If it hasn’t been obvious, Sunghoon is really into the idea of being shampoo twins with Jungwon and that discount. He’s wanted an excuse to buy bulk in discount without the unintended consequences of an implied invitation for everyone else to use his stock, “And also other larger questions. Much larger questions.”

“Yeah like, the fuck do you mean by closet?” Sunoo is all disturbed whispers, “Jay came by the room to get some sheets and just says _‘Goodnight, I’m going back in the closet with Wonie’_ and oh boy will I be haunted by that thought if I never get an explanation. “

“Wow,” they can hear Jake say this with smile in the dark, “Just wow.”

“Imma hit Jay with that in the middle of dinner, preferably right after he has a mouthful of food but before he swallows a drink to wash it down. I want that magic moment when he’s got a glass lifted and liquid just hits the back of his throat.” There’s a knife emoji implied in there somewhere.

“Don’t kill Jongseong.”

“I know Heimlich if I need to, but you’re right. I did fuck up his cheese and these earrings are SO me. Fancy.”

“Oooh Oo Ooooh“ Niki sings in TWICE.

“Niki! Don’t start!” a flustered whisper scream, “Yet.” the heat of a blush radiates from that word.

“Did you guys wanna hear my theory real quick? I’m dozing off and I’m just so ready to get cozy with Lejla but I’d be haunted too if I don’t call this out now.”

“Jakethy, first off: when you choose what to read tomorrow, start with a book of baby names. Second: tell us the theory so I can finally rest my mind and finally get cozy with Hoonie.”

“Wow, okay Sasseung. How about number one: don’t go putting your mental health issues on other people; and two: Jungwon’s drunk.”

“WHAT?” A collective gasp from two people who aren't Heeseung and Sunghoon.

“Shh. Not so loud.” He says in velvet Australian.

“That’s not what you said in the hallway with your mouth and no sound??” Sunghoon is not about to drag anyone's secrets out of the closet, much less his son's, but he'd like to know a little bit more about what Jake has to say on the subject.

“Yeah I know, I pointed to him and said ‘ _Thirsty_ Boy’ like I was before that medically induced coma you sprung on us.”

“ _Thirsty_ is nowhere close to describing drunk.” 

“To be fair, _thirsty_ had a broader definition within the context of Spa Day. _Thirsty_ was like the word ‘love’ for Spa Day in that it means everything and nothing at the same time. We feel it in different ways we’re all thirsty in our own special ways…” Jake trails off, one part of it is sleep depravation, the other part is him not really having a point.

“Jakey. Enough.” Sunghoon resists the urge to slap Jake’s head.

“Hyungs, I’m gonna to talk to my teacher next time I see them and ask if you guys can sit in on a language lesson. Everybody in the BrainTrust needs it.” The suggestion is sincere and most definitely an intentionally underhanded insult to everyone in the room.

Sunoo agrees with this sentiment. “We all need to read more. Like a paper book. Between takes when we were on set shooting Given-Taken, Niki and I were chilling with a book and I shit you not, I asked Niki to scroll up on a page… and he did it with his finger, on paper.”

Niki’s voice is laden in shame, “I’m not proud of that… but at the time it made sense.”

“That’s dark. For the future of humanity dark.”

Jake gets up, “Well, that’s all I got. I’m gonna go before I do something stupid… Imma cuddle with my new Lejla and dream of my Lyla,” Jake’s little glowy toes start to wiggle in the dark, “… my dog, not the girl who haunts me in my dreams.”

“Aw, really Jakey? I’m kind of surprised you’re not trying to tell everyone you love them and hug us in a pile." Heeseung doesn't mind that Jake's not pouncing on anyone in the dark, but kind of wants to know why Jake isn't.

"I’d hug you all but I really don’t want you guys to get sick of me and I think we’ve all hugged plenty in the sleepy boy pile.”

“These are facts. Let's be sleepy boys in smaller groups." Sunoo yawns, "Niki crawled back up to my bunk so I'm gonna go. I hope everyone had a Happy Spa Day."

"Hey Ddeonu, thanks for today. I'm glad you talked me into getting pretty, aggressively. I had a happy Spa Day."

"Happy Spa Day, Boys. This has been perfect. And traumatizing but I'll deal with that later."

"Aww, Happy Spa Day to you dads too."

"Happy Spa Day hyungs!" from above a voice says in a whisper yell, "Never forget!"

Jake goes into a full stage whisper scream deserving of every punctuation mark, "Happy Spa Day Ddeonu dearest! Happy Spa Day Niki, my boy, my son! Happy Spa Day sweet SweetSeung! And a happy happy Spa Day to my soulmate Hoon-ah! NEVER FORGET! Everyone's been wonderful, I love you all! Jakethy out!"

Everyone disperses, no hugs just whispers in the dark. Everyone does what feels right, which in this case is pass the fuck out. No one really notices that Heeseung and Sunghoon fell asleep first.

* * *

Thank You for Reading || pause mode: Spa Day 2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG. I... I thought I had one chapter left when I did 9 but... 10, 11, 13 & 14 happened 
> 
> Oh this was long... and lingering. Apologies for the delay, things just kept happening. I blame it on Spa Day. And Christmas?! Which is a real thing. Oh god and I blame so much on LET ME IN (20 CUBE), like... what the fuck? How does this rookie group have the right to be so AAAAAH my brain it died! I just couldn't finish it before let me in dropped, totally forgot about timezones. And then it drops and I like... needed time to cope??? the braincells I lost because of that UGH THEY TOOK IT TO SPACE!!!! I TOOK SPA DAY TO SPACE!! I PUBLISHED THAT SHIT THE DAY BEFORE THE MV DROPPED!!! HOW??? THEY ALREADY OWN MY SOUL AND MONEY I COULDVE USED TO RETIRE BUT NO!!! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT BELIFT?? I WHAT. I WAS FREAKING OUT I THREW MY PHONE! ON A PILLOW BUT I DIGRESSS FFFFF UGH SUNGHOON IN SPACE!!!!!!! NO! NOOO! YESSSS BUT WHY aohdslfkahd
> 
> ah sorry.
> 
> The final upload for this story will be the Spa Day 2020 timeline broken into hours and a few extra details. Basically 'Sunoo's Notes' if that was a thing and this wasn't fiction.


	15. [ BONUS ] Timeline, Chapters in 3 Emojis, Ship Guide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some bonus content for anyone interested in taking a peek into the process that made this crackfic. These were my notes to keep continuity and keep track of little call-backs in the timeline while I wrote this emotional rollercoaster. The emoji stuff was a challenge I did for no real reason other than that it made me laugh and it was code on my notes app to remind me what each chapter's vibe was in list form. Also my personal Pause Mode Universe Ship naming convention. I strive for comedic consistency always lol 
> 
> Basically Sunoo’s Notes but not written by Sunoo. Just me SSpian0.
> 
> And I go feral in the end note promoting 0204’s Day Off. You don't have to read it. Its... very extra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **FUN FACT:** I started writing this on December 10, 2020. This is 100% the god's honest truth. I wrote this in 14 days
> 
> Thank you all so much for giving Spa Day a chance. I so appreciate all the comments I've gotten about the tone, my writing style, corrections, chapter lengths and how its appreciated when real I get sometimes working out feelings and character motivations of my fictional depictions of these UGH GORGEOUS BOYS oh they make it so hard to do math. I feel like I've really grown to be better at this from the feedback.
> 
> Reading ENHYPEN fics give me life, I'm glad I get to reciprocate that feeling this time. I feel like I've memed pretty hard with you guys & I feel like a part of something I already love. You, dear reader-nim, you make me feel special, and to you I sing that in TWICE.
> 
> I can't thank you enough. Happy Christmas!

**Spa Day 2020: Timeline in Earth Hours ]-------**

In the Pause Mode Universe time is a flat circle and time management is a farce. 

\--------------------------------------------------

 **02:AM||** Jay’s terrible dream

 **03:00 ||** Sunghoon wakes up thirsty

 **04:45** **||** Jungwon’s alarm

 **09:45 ||** Sunghoon stirs.

 **10:00 ||** Sunghoon gets up.   
Sunoo comes with boba. It goes in the fridge

 **10:30 ||** Sunghoon finally agrees to spa day but  
give him a minute. Several minutes.

 **11:00 ||** Sunghoon buffers

 **11:45 ||** chapter 1 begins

 **NOON ||** Jake gets home. 

**12:30 ||** chapter 2 begins

 **01:PM ||** balcony foot soak;  
Jake’s backstory

 **02:00 ||** rinse off feet in bathroom tub

 **02:15 ||** Sunghoon gets snacks

 **02:30 ||** Sunghoon has snacks.

 **02:45 ||** snack time

 **03:00 ||** pedicures

 **03:10 ||** Heeseung & Niki get home.

 **03:20 ||** SunSungJake busted

 **03:30 ||** Hyung Line minus Jay drink on the balcony

 **03:45 ||** Jake third wheels indoors

 **04:00 ||** Niki & Jake look for hats in the closet

 **04:15 ||** BreakBot: Baby, I'm Yours **  
**Jay’s Father’s Fedora ends up on the couch

 **04:20 ||** HYUNG LINE MINUS JAY ASSEMBLE

 **04:45 ||** pizza time

 **05:00 **||**** Sunki’s closed door meeting  
Sunghoon adds to chore app:  
 **Please Disinfect Make-up Room** 😢

 **05:15 ||** Jake passes the fuck out (floor)

 **05:30 ||** SungSeung pass out  
Jay’s father’s fedora is crushed by SunSeung 

**05:35 ||** Sunki goes to the store to buy sketchy  
hangover cures & alkaline water

 **05:45 ||** Sunki cleans up the mess  
starts blanket and pillow laundry

 **06:00 ||** Dongsaeng Line minus Jungwon  
assemble; Mincho Time  
SungSeung Eavesdrop

 **06:15 ||** Jake barfs

 **06:20 ||** Jake gets a bath  
Clothes go in a laundry quick cycle.  
Blankets go in the dryer.

 **07:00 ||** _“Hey, are we okay?”_  
Sunoo gives Niki a tl;dr in his office   
Clothes get added to the dryer load

 **07:10 ||** Heeseungxiety Attack  
Jake throws an empty coffee mug across  
a room and no one clocks that detail.  
Doc.Shim in the house

 **07:30 ||** Heeseung _DOESN'T_ get a water  
Jake gets dressed

 **07:45 ||** Sunoo adds to the chore app" _  
_🚨 _!! **DISINFECT BUNK STEPS** **ASAP**!!_ 🚨  
SunKi give a hyung a moment to ramble

 **08:00 ||** Sunoo folds laundry   
Niki pets the dog

 **08:10 ||** HeeHoon break out of Chamber 5;   
SunSung hall talk

 **08:30 ||** Spa Day BrainTrust meeting

 **09:00 ||** Sunghoon scolds the Dog

 **09:20 ||** Suddenly, a Spa Day miracle

 **09:30 ||** Head Chef Kim's Kitchen Nightmare   
The cook Jay’s fancy cheese.

 **10:30 ||** Sunoo gives a speech & goes feral

 **10:45 ||** End of Chapter 9

 **11:00 ||** Sunghoon pulls a Jonestown on Spa Day  
Sleepy Boy Pile gossip  
Jay’s father’s fedora is crushed more  
by Sleepy Boy Pile, especially Jake  


 **11:30 ||** Heeseung sees Jay’s Father’s Fedora   
Jake STANS Global & Jake regroup  
as Balcony Bros  
SunSung cleans the kitchen

 **11:45 ||** Sunghoon boils water, spills tea

 **12:MN||** Heeseung gets closure

 **12:30 ||** peak degeneracy begins  
SungSeung play a game

 **01:30 ||** JayWon say no

 **01:45 ||** Brush yo Teeth  
Sunoo & Jay talk long distance

 **02:00 ||** Jake mouths two words

 **02:15 ||** HeeHoon get Spa Day presents

**02:30 ||[Brush Your Teeth (SungSeung)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28358004)**

**03:00 ||** whisper screams

\--------------------------------------------------

* * *

**\---[ Spa Day 2020 Chapters in Tryptic Emoji ]---  
**

The whole fic in tl;dr moods. _May contain Spoilers._

Chapter 01 | 😑🧋😌  
Face Masks & Boba

Chapter 02 | 🦮👣🥺  
Foot Soak & Hot Cocoa

Chapter 03 | 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻  
Nail Polish & Cucumber Water

Chapter 04 | ❣️🍶❣️  
Karaoke & Soju Spritzers

Chapter 05 | 🍕🎉😴  
Pizza Party & Gatorade

Chapter 06 | 🧐🍨🛁  
Aromatherapy & Ice Cream

Chapter 07 | 🚨🕯🫀  
Breathing Exercises & Water

Chapter 08 | 😱😱😱  
A Backrub & Clean Laundry

Chapter 09 | 🛥👨🏻‍🍳🍲  
Risotto & Milk Tea

Chapter 10 | ☠️🛋❄️  
Borld's West

Chapter 11 | 🍋🫖🍯  
Citrus & Honey

Chapter 12 | 👯🎶👨‍👦‍👦  
Player 01 & Player 02

Chapter 13 | 🚪🦅🐈  
Jungwon & Jay

Chapter 14 | 🕒🤫🗯  
EPILOGUE: Whisper Screams

Chapter 15 | ✨📝✨  
[ BONUS ] Timeline, Chapters in 3 Emojis, Ship Guide

* * *

**[** **F R I E N D • S H I P D I R E C T O R Y** **]** \--------

Documentation of platonic, familial, romantic and transactional relationships within the Pause Mode: Spa Day Universe. 

\------------------[ D U O S ]------------------

  * **Sunoo & Sunghoon**
    * SunSung
    * Spa Day Twins
    * Tom & Jerry
    * Have Seen Half of Jake 
    * Father & Son
    * Head Chef & Mixologist (almost Barmaid)
    * 🔪🔪
    * the knife is a family legacy  
  



  * **Sunoo & Niki**
    * SunKi
    * Dongsaeng Line minus Jungwon
    * An Actual Power Couple
    * Parners in Crime
    * Head Chef & Butler/Gopher/All-Rounder/Dog Handler/House Boy (?)
    * Co-Parent a Knife 
    * The Serenity  
  



  * **Sunghoon & Heeseung**
    * SungSeung(used by Sunoo, Jake, Niki & Heeseung)
    * HeeHoon(used by Jungwon, Jay & Sunghoon)
    * Hoonie & Hee 
    * #milk_carrot
    * Jungwon’s parents
    * Nurse & Patient
    * Parent Hyungs
    * Head Chef Kim’s Kitchen Staff 
    * Mixologist & Sous Chef/Gorgeous Assistant
    * USS Enterprise
    * TWICE Boys
    * Player 02 & Player 01 (from L-R)  
  



  * **Heeseung & Niki  
**
    * +1s
    * Mathyung & Maknae Subunit 
    * Have a Similar Type
    * Have Seen ALL of Jake
    * The President & Vice President of Jake STANS Global (membership only)  
  



  * **Jake & Niki**
    * Dad (but puppy) & Son
    * Might be Masochists (in matters of the heart)
    * Jake & his Number 1 Fan (aww)
    * STAN each other's swagger  
  



  * **Jungwon & Jay**
    * JayWon
    * Yang Leader and his Human Cape
    * Cat emoji & Eagle emoji
    * Mango & Watermelon
    * Borld's West
    * Laputa
    * Parners in Crimes (with an ’s’)
    * went shopping 🛍 
    * literally the Santa Clause of Spa Day  
  



  * **Jay & Sunghoon**
    * JayHoon
    * Best _Actual_ Friends
    * Homies
    * Total Bros
    * Hard For Hee LLC.  
  



  * **Jake & Heeseung**
    * Doc.Shim and his Patient
    * Nerds for Hoonie
    * Have a Type
    * I mean.
    * lo key they'd both lose instantly if they started playing a game 🤷 
    * Jakethy & SweetSeung (good terms)
    * Jaketopher & Sasseung (bad terms)
    * Key Scholars of Winter Night Balcony  
  



  * **Jake & Sunghoon**
    * Jakey & Hoon-ah
    * Best Friends
    * Soulmates
    * Got Peer Pressured into Underage Drinking 
    * A Boy & his Dog (SH, JK respectively)  
  



  * **Jay & Sunoo**
    * SunJay
    * Fancy Lads
    * Tastemakers
    * Classy AF
    * Masters of Long Distance Communication (casual screams, friendly)  
  



  * **Jay & Jake**
    * 2Js
    * Crybaby Sweethearts
    * English Men (not from the UK)
    * have a lot more in common than they think. spiritually.   
  



  * **Niki & Jungwon**
    * Finger Heart Selcas
    * Fatal Cuties
    * Workshop Partners
    * They brush their teeth together. Precious.



\------------------[T R I O S]------------------  
  


  * **Sunoo, Sunghoon & Jake**
    * Spa Day Trio 
    * Spa Boys
    * a Boy Hug Sandwich  
  



  * **Heeseung** (leader) **, Jake, Sunghoon**
    * Hyung Line minus Jay
    * Acute Triangle? (debatable)  
  



  * **Jake** (leader) **, Niki & Sunoo**
    * Doc.Shim and the Children
    * Spa Day Trio plus boyfriend minus Sunghoon
    * a Boy Hug Sandwich w/ Cheese
    * Heavily Cloaked Audience  
  



  * **Sunghoon, Sunoo & Heeseung**
    * Father, Son & Step-dad
    * Dedicated Kitchen Staff  
  



  * **Heeseung, Jake, Niki**
    * Balcony Bros
    * Friends with Fear (specific)  
  



  * **Heeseung, Sunghoon, Jay**
    * Big Hit Trio
    * Jungwon’s Nuclear Family
    * Formerly Complicated  
  



  * **Jake, Jay, Sunghoon**
    * 02 Liners
    * tee hee hee  
  



  * **Sunoo, Jungwon, Niki**
    * Dongsaeng Line
    * The REAL Brains of the Operation
    * Schemers  
  




\------------------[ Q U A T R O S ]------------------  
  


  * **Heeseung, Jay, Sunghoon, Jungwon**
    * A FAMILY 🥺🥺😭😭  
  



  * **Sunghoon, Jake, Niki, Heeseung**
    * Bathed the Jake the Dog
    * Sunoo's Captive Audience  
  



  * **Heeseung, Jake, Sunoo, Niki**
    * Blessed
    * Personally Assaulted (visually)
    * Saw the Top of the Mountain and it was Good



\------------------[F I V E O S]------------------  
  


  * **Sunoo** (leader) **  
Sunghoon, Jake, Niki & Heeseung**
    * Spa Day Trio plus +1s
    * Spa Boys plus +1s  
  



  * **Sunghoon** (co-leader), **Heeseung** (co-leader) **  
Sunoo, Niki & Jake**
    * Spa Day BrainTrust, LLC.  
  



  * **Heeseung** (mathyung) **Sunghoon, Jake,** **Sunoo, Niki**
    * Drunk Teens and Children  
  



  * **Sunghoon** (cult leader) **Heeseung,** **Sunoo, Niki, Jake**
    * Victims of an Accidental Drugging



* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun making pause mode! I really hope this was an enjoyable ride for you guys. I think I made peace with a part of my self that might maybe possibly definitely really enjoy inflicting emotional whiplash to myself and others. I’m friends with this side of me now LOL ah i’m an idiot BUT I DIGRESS. Lo key I’m in love with my notes and I wanted to show off my BABY?! BECAUSE WHAT SANITY IF I CAN’T BE FREE TO LOVE MYSELF AND MY NOTES. I LOVE MY NOTES. There! I said it! No one asked for this but here I am, naked and vulnerable— SHAKING!!! in adoration of my fucking notes. I GO INTO A RAGE — a BABYRAGE ugh I could fawn over my notes unprompted AND I DON’T CARE WHO SEES! This love is real! And they’re just words... they won’t hurt you unless you let it. Un... unless you want it to. Eh. Hey. You. Come now. C’mon. Don’t be shy. YOU KNOW. You knooow this is sort of brilliant, right? You see it too, right? Naw c’mon. You know. It drives me just MAD this shame I feel for these notes, BUT THEMS MY NOTES. My brainchildren, my... my sons. I, these notes. I think they’re beautiful. I think you don’t think they’re bad looking either. Look at them. LOOK AT THEM. They’re mine! And I WANT YOU TO SEE IT!!!! Accept it! Drink it in like so much water. We could all drink more water. Do you want a glass? Take a seat, I’ll fetch us some water. It’ll be just a second —- OH NO WAIT NO!! The pursuit of hydration and my universal compassion for all things parched will not TEAR ME AWAY from THIS!!?! My declaration of love, MY DEVOTION!!! TO MY NOTES! You!! How dare you look at me with those eyes, THOSE EYES with judgment, LOOK AT MY NOTES. MY NOTES ARE RIGHT UP HERE. Look at me where it matters! Judge me not by the mental breakdown of my end notes but by the CHARACTER (count) OF MY NOTES. Don’t you dare gloss over the brilliance THE MAGNIFICENCE of my notes! GAAAAA! Oh my children, hush... please notes, don’t cry. I’m not mad at you I just... oh damnit I made my notes cry. I cant have that. Oh no. WHAT HAVE I DONE? I swore — I SWORE IF NEVER HURT THESE NOTES AGAIN. I will not lose another one, my precious word cloud... huh? WAIT. No, don’t go! Baby I— damnit yes, I— did not mean to say that aloud but YES. You. YOU I CALLED YOU fucking baby i... i just think it sometimes? I... we don’t know each other but... in my mind sometimes... sometimes i call you baby? FUCK WHAT AM I DOING???? What am i saying? I cant do this, IM MARRIED TO MY WORK. You don’t know what that’s like, I... me and work... we have a history, a long work history and when it works, it just works? But lately... this... this FANFICTION THING, what is it even? What is this thing we have between us? Why... why does this feel so right? I should be cleaning up my desktop, my files still need to be sorted and damnit the emails, my daily work... but you, this... this wall (of text) between us... I cant stop thinking about it, since that first time I saw you give me kudos, and then there you are YOU FOOL you IDIOT you sweet sweet creature you, with your kind words and THE AUDACITY to leave me a comment HERE??? Right here where everyone can see? Of course — OF COURSE that memory lingers, even in the middle of work. OF WORK???? I cant write an email with autocorrect on now I said something I—- somehow the word ‘Jakethy’ slipped out ... in an email?! to my boss? I cant write the word ‘he’ any more my idiot algorithm thinks it’s ALWAYS ‘Hee’ — and DONT GET ME STARTED ON HOONIE. I wanted to die when it slipped out in a text to a homie, like a person I KNOW IN THE FLESH— they shot me a “wyu2” and i said “working from hoonie 💅🏻“ I USED AN EMOJI AND IT DIDNT REGISTER I SAID HOONIE. gah ugh Oh. my heart. I cant... I cant do this anymore, it hurts but my heart won’t let me? Please, please just please... you don’t have to accept my notes, you don’t even have to meet them and I don’t care — IVE STOPPED CARING about how work feels about us. Just... just stay here, with me for just a little longer. I’ve got one more round in me and I want you. I WANT YOU. I want you to take my hand, take just one more ride with me... Let’s finish what we started together, you and me. Meet me down at 0204’s Day Off. I promise I’ll make you feel things, the way I feel things when I do this, filling out the space, this space, here in Pause Mode. Bookmark it. 
> 
> tl;dr - Pause Mode continues at 0204’s Day Off, the JayWon side of this timeline. Will be taking a brief hiatus for the holidays. If you’re down for that ride, it’ll be fun. Maybe tell a friend if you liked it the first time.
> 
> Just to be clear, I’ve only been freaking out over writing fan fiction here in the end notes and consistent to my character as this crack fic’s author I just wanted to see how close to the (character count) limit I could go before I was spent. [152 characters left]

**Author's Note:**

> If you've enjoyed any part of this labor of love, please check out the work of the authors I've dedicated this word salad to. I promise you won't regret it.


End file.
